StillHoping
Member
I have recently started using the public bus system here (because the price of gasoline exceeds my ability to pay for it). But I'm having lots of trouble. All but one of the bus drivers seem very frustrated with me and I'm beginning to fear they won't even let me on the bus next time. :mrgreen: I could really use some suggestions on how to pass as a "normal" person (nobody else on the bus seems to be having the least bit of trouble 
). I just want the drivers to let me ride in peace--it's anxiety-provoking enough just guessing where to pull the cord so the bus stops close to my intended destination.
What kind of troubles? Well, it seems like every bus driver has his own rules. (Except for the return driver, every time I've ridden this bus, I have a new driver.) The first time I rode the bus, the driver explained that the particular bus I caught went out of service after 3 blocks. He then kindly explained the bus schedule to me (Now, I had spent quite awhile studying that schedule and THOUGHT I had it all figured out ). After a half-hour wait at the bus stop, I caught the continuation bus and got to my chiropractor okay, only an hour late. On the way home, though, I pulled the cord well before the intersection I wanted to get off at, but the bus driver changed lanes and went another two blocks before stopping. :? I asked him about whether he could stop back where I wanted and he said he could have if I had VERBALLY requested it of him ahead of time (instead of just using the pull cord signal). 8O I'm sorry. It's tough enough to ride the bus without having to make special requests in words, too.
Okay. Day two. I started at a different time, so I wouldn't run into the out-of-service problem again. And, I stood on the corner where the previous bus driver had dropped me. This bus driver, though, told me he couldn't pick me up there. :x I probably had too much excitement / resentment in my tone when I asked him where I COULD get picked up. Basically, he said I had to walk ANOTHER block and wait at that corner. :!: I got my mouth open to ask about how I was supposed to be signaling for the bus to stop (just to make sure I was doing that part right). :?: He answered about sticking up a hand and waving (which is what I thought), but then he went on to add several increasingly facetious suggestions, ending with the one that I should "wave an Al Q'da flag". Although I politely laughed, I felt he had said my presence was as undesirable as that of a terrorist.
The worst part of this interaction was that I KNEW this bus driver. We had been close friends (I thought) just before I became disabled and dropped out of the world 14 years ago. I even said, "Oh, hi Dave!" when I recognized him, but he obviously didn't recognize me. And, since I had gained 100 pounds since he knew me and he seemed upset with me anyway, I didn't make a point of saying, "Hey, remember me? We were great friends, back when." So it was uncomfortable, but I made it through that trip. The return driver was the same as the day before. I still didn't talk, just pulled the cord several blocks from a stop I was pretty sure he'd make and walked the long way home.
Today. Another new bus driver on the pick up. Same time as yesterday, I had walked the extra block to the corner where Dave told me to wait. I signalled the bus. No flashing lights to acknowledge the driver was going to stop. :!: So I waved more frantically. Flashing lights. I get on and the bus driver asks if I wanted the #29 bus. "Yes." (After all, only the #29 bus goes down this street.) :roll: He uncovered the fare machine and then covered it back up after I paid. (Hmmm, that was different.) So, we get to the stopover point and he turns to me and asks if I am continuing this route. "Yes," I said. "Well, ma'am, you're going to have to exit the bus." "What! Why do you guys change the rules every single day?" :evil: "Ma'am," he explains how he has to exit the bus to use the toilet and so I have to leave the bus, too.
So I barely step out of the door of the bus and stand there until he comes back. :twisted: (Passive-agressive mode, I know, but I'm not dealing with all these frustrations well.) I don't move a muscle, yet when he comes back he asks me to step back. "Now what?" I ask. "Why must you be that way?" he asks. But he opens the bus and I march back on and sit where I was before, glaring at the floor, hoping to send the message that he better not ask me to pay a second fare after only three blocks. He doesn't.
Wonder of wonders, he lets me off at the stop I wanted. The return driver was the same one for the last two days. But I still blink back tears all the way home. I get off at the same stop as yesterday walk home without further incident. But, I've been crying ever since I got home and dread the bus ride tomorrow.
How do you guys cope with this? Do you have trouble keeping anger under control at each little frustration? How?
). I just want the drivers to let me ride in peace--it's anxiety-provoking enough just guessing where to pull the cord so the bus stops close to my intended destination.What kind of troubles? Well, it seems like every bus driver has his own rules. (Except for the return driver, every time I've ridden this bus, I have a new driver.) The first time I rode the bus, the driver explained that the particular bus I caught went out of service after 3 blocks. He then kindly explained the bus schedule to me
(Now, I had spent quite awhile studying that schedule and THOUGHT I had it all figured out ). After a half-hour wait at the bus stop, I caught the continuation bus and got to my chiropractor okay, only an hour late. On the way home, though, I pulled the cord well before the intersection I wanted to get off at, but the bus driver changed lanes and went another two blocks before stopping. :? I asked him about whether he could stop back where I wanted and he said he could have if I had VERBALLY requested it of him ahead of time (instead of just using the pull cord signal). 8O I'm sorry. It's tough enough to ride the bus without having to make special requests in words, too.Okay. Day two. I started at a different time, so I wouldn't run into the out-of-service problem again. And, I stood on the corner where the previous bus driver had dropped me. This bus driver, though, told me he couldn't pick me up there. :x I probably had too much excitement / resentment in my tone when I asked him where I COULD get picked up. Basically, he said I had to walk ANOTHER block and wait at that corner. :!: I got my mouth open to ask about how I was supposed to be signaling for the bus to stop (just to make sure I was doing that part right). :?: He answered about sticking up a hand and waving (which is what I thought), but then he went on to add several increasingly facetious suggestions, ending with the one that I should "wave an Al Q'da flag". Although I politely laughed, I felt he had said my presence was as undesirable as that of a terrorist.
The worst part of this interaction was that I KNEW this bus driver. We had been close friends (I thought) just before I became disabled and dropped out of the world 14 years ago. I even said, "Oh, hi Dave!" when I recognized him, but he obviously didn't recognize me. And, since I had gained 100 pounds
since he knew me and he seemed upset with me anyway, I didn't make a point of saying, "Hey, remember me? We were great friends, back when." So it was uncomfortable, but I made it through that trip. The return driver was the same as the day before. I still didn't talk, just pulled the cord several blocks from a stop I was pretty sure he'd make and walked the long way home.Today. Another new bus driver on the pick up. Same time as yesterday, I had walked the extra block to the corner where Dave told me to wait. I signalled the bus. No flashing lights to acknowledge the driver was going to stop. :!: So I waved more frantically. Flashing lights. I get on and the bus driver asks if I wanted the #29 bus. "Yes." (After all, only the #29 bus goes down this street.) :roll: He uncovered the fare machine and then covered it back up after I paid. (Hmmm, that was different.) So, we get to the stopover point and he turns to me and asks if I am continuing this route. "Yes," I said. "Well, ma'am, you're going to have to exit the bus." "What! Why do you guys change the rules every single day?" :evil: "Ma'am," he explains how he has to exit the bus to use the toilet and so I have to leave the bus, too.
So I barely step out of the door of the bus and stand there until he comes back. :twisted: (Passive-agressive mode, I know, but I'm not dealing with all these frustrations well.) I don't move a muscle, yet when he comes back he asks me to step back. "Now what?" I ask. "Why must you be that way?" he asks. But he opens the bus and I march back on and sit where I was before, glaring at the floor, hoping to send the message that he better not ask me to pay a second fare after only three blocks. He doesn't.
Wonder of wonders, he lets me off at the stop I wanted. The return driver was the same one for the last two days. But I still blink back tears all the way home. I get off at the same stop as yesterday walk home without further incident.
But, I've been crying ever since I got home and dread the bus ride tomorrow.How do you guys cope with this? Do you have trouble keeping anger under control at each little frustration? How?
