wait or syco ward? need comments badly

[thoughts]

title says it all im thinking of terning myself in to the syco ward once and for all hopfully they will cure me but im having second thoughts b/c my thoughts have been getting better!! much better like there dying. should i still tern myself in and knock it all out at once of wait and see what happends to me?

this is my thoughts its a copy past from my first post im putting this here so you know what im talking about and you dont have to go and look for it

ill start this off by saying this is my first time to do this online. i have a rare OCD disorder that's a little dangerous to myself and those around me. iv seen five doctors so far to see if they could help me and so far they have all made it worse or did nothing to it. i have been thro thousands of dollors in meds and appointments all for nothing i have almost been forced to live in a sycotic ward even but was dismissed at the last second thanks to my parents. due to what i have it has all so made me in to an insomniac because it scares me in to not sleeping at nights. this is what i have. at any given moment at any given time during the day i will have a sudden urge to kill anyone and everyone around me it doesn't matter if i know them or not family friend or stranger who ever is closest to me at the time of the thoughts but not just kill them but to do it in a way that it would make them suffer and after they die i want to eat them. i have these thoughts 2 to 6 times a day. sadly the thought have been getting stronger and happening more times a day and they last longer now. and i find my self to start playing with the thing i want to kill the person with. i cant sleep at nights because i have nightmares every night about killing people hunting them down and then eating them when there alive. i scream allot during my sleep the rare times that i do sleep i sleep every other night for 2 hrs I'm to scared to sleep anymore. i don't know what to do anymore i cant seem to cure these on my own can someone please help me or is someone out there like me? I'm 19 years old and I'm in collage. ps sorry for spelling and grammer there not my strong points im begging for help plz someone any lil tip would help somthing nothing is to small at this point i need help badly

 

[proudmummy]

You should definetely be having special care & treatment 24/7, theres no doubt about that. I suggest you phone somewhere or go somewhere immediately to be taken in.

I hope things get better

 

[JonnyD]

hey it's nice to see you're trying to get help!

don't think back, don't wait, go there and get your help, you know you want it and you know you need it!

and when you come back cured don't forget to say hi to us

 

[faithnomore]

Thinking about killing others isn't too bad, but thinking about eating them while they're still alive.....thats a little bit too far.

Hopefully you can get some help. I'm sure someone has upset you somehow unfortunately.

 

[Remus]

jees!

I'd turn myself in if things are that bad

 

[thoughts]

lol looks like alot of people want me off the streets =/ i can controle myself but im maby going to wait a few more days to see what happends ill make a new post or a new topic telling what im going to do and what will happend me if i go there

 

[sabbath92002]

If you read a book, you'll learn how to spell and maybe how to live with difficult thoughts. Here are some I recommend: Mad In America: Bad Science, Bad Medicine, and The Enduring Mistreatment of the Mentally Ill (Paperback) and Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Paperback).

Amazon.com Review
Hot on the heels of an optimistic film about Nobelist John Nash's schizophrenic journey comes medical journalist Robert Whitaker's disturbing exposé of the cruel and corrupt business of treating mental illness in America. Mad in America begins by surveying three centuries of mental health treatments to discover why positive outcomes for schizophrenics in the U.S. for the last 25 years have decreased--making them lower than those in developing countries. Whitaker asks, "Why should living in a country with such rich resources and advanced medical treatments for disorders of every kind, be so toxic to those who are severely mentally ill?"

One of Whitaker's answers draws upon the historic and current assumptions of a physical cause for schizophrenia. This resulted in cruel and unusual physical treatments--from ice-water immersion and bloodletting to the more contemporary electroshock, lobotomy, and drug therapies with dangerous side effects. This physical cause model leads to Whitaker's more provocative explanation: that mental illness has become a profit center. He offers disturbing details about how good business for drug companies makes for bad medicine in treating schizophrenia. From drug companies skewing their studies and patient/subjects kept in the dark about experiments to the cozy relationship between the American Psychiatric Association and drug companies, Whitaker underlines the mistreatment of the mentally ill. This courageous and compelling book succeeds as both a history of our attitudes toward mental illness and a manifesto for changing them. --Barbara Mackoff --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly
Tooth removal. Bloodletting. Spinning. Ice-water baths. Electroshock therapy. These are only a few of the horrifying treatments for mental illness readers encounter in this accessible history of Western attitudes toward insanity. Whitaker, a medical writer and Pulitzer Prize finalist, argues that mental asylums in the U.S. have been run largely as "places of confinement facilities that served to segregate the misfits from society rather than as hospitals that provided medical care." His evidence is at times frightening, especially when he compares U.S. physicians' treatments of the mentally ill to medical experiments and sterilizations in Nazi Germany. Eugenicist attitudes, Whitaker argues, profoundly shaped American medicine in the first half of the 20th century, resulting in forced sterilization and other cruel treatments. Between 1907 and 1927, roughly 8,000 eugenic sterilizations were performed, while 10,000 mentally ill Americans were lobotomized in the years 1950 and 1951 alone. As late as 1933, there were no states in which insane people could legally get married. Though it covers some of the same territory as Sander Gilman's Seeing the Insane and Elaine Showalter's The Female Malady, Whitaker's richer, more detailed book will appeal to those interested in medical history, as well as anyone fascinated by Western culture's obsessive need to define and subdue the mentally ill. Agent, Kevin Lang.

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