We Are Not Different , We Are Better ?

[diesel]

Lately i have been thinking something which is probably controversail but none the less i think i should put it out there . I have anxiety , depression and paranoia but because of this i seem to think differently to those around me .

A lot of people on here , if not all , seem to have this too - we look at the world differently to the general population but is this such a bad thing ?

Allow me to explain , even though we are depressed etc ... We seem to have a more realistic view of the world , to me anyway . We know the world is a tough place , we think about it and examine it . We dont think or act like the average person out there , but is there a positive to this ?

I genuinely , and im not joking here , think that people here are mote intelligent than most . People here dont blend in , dont fit the "form" or what is expected but who wants to be the same as everyone else ? I mean why would you want to think like everyone else ?

This mightn't make much sense , it's hard for me to explain but i guess what im saying is that even though we have problems and we suffer ... well .... at least we are not blind , at least we are not sheep like everyone else .

I cant speak for everyone else of course but personally i think id rather suffer and "see" rather than be a sheep like everyone else .

Just had to get this off my chest , when i feel down i try to remeber im better than the average guy . I dont think or act like they do and i can "see" .

 

[joyce]

thats great 8D

 

[Shift]

Have you read any of The Highly Sensitive Person books? Those kind of touch on this subject. I've only read one of them...

But anyway, I agree with you. I'm not entirely sure how to word this, but I feel like having anxiety has made me a nicer person. I'm more prone to taking other people's problems more seriously (never ever would I tell someone to "just get over it" or assume a person is saying they have a problem solely for attention) and I feel I'm also more accepting of others' differences. I've also been bullied before and I don't want other people to have to go through that, so I do my best to be nice to everyone and not hurt people's feelings.

I think people who haven't struggled with anxiety, depression, etc. don't have the life experience and just aren't able empathize well with people who are different. And then sometimes they can come off as jerks because they don't understand what other people are going through.

Does that make sense at all?

 

[fitftw]

I'm too much of a logical realist to NOT tell someone to just "get over it". I wouldn't word it like that, but that would be the message. Everything happens for a reason. I'm pretty emotionless, when I do show emotion I'm usually faking it.

 

[diesel]

@Shift - yes that makes sense , thats what im getting at . having it makes you different but it allows you to understand which most people cant do .

@fitftw - yes i can be quite emotionless too but personally i have a set of values that i try to stick to but i hide my emotions . being logical is an advantage though , you can view things clearly without emotions getting in the way .

@joyce - glad you think so

 

[RegalSin]

I would feel better, if we all agreed to not to buy flatscreens, wii, 360, PS3,
Cell phones, mobile phones, and even cheap ****e cars. More iportantly we all gave business to each other., and had money in our pockets.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Lately i have been thinking something which is probably controversail but none the less i think i should put it out there . I have anxiety , depression and paranoia but because of this i seem to think differently to those around me .

A lot of people on here , if not all , seem to have this too - we look at the world differently to the general population but is this such a bad thing ?

Allow me to explain , even though we are depressed etc ... We seem to have a more realistic view of the world , to me anyway . We know the world is a tough place , we think about it and examine it . We dont think or act like the average person out there , but is there a positive to this ?

I genuinely , and im not joking here , think that people here are mote intelligent than most . People here dont blend in , dont fit the "form" or what is expected but who wants to be the same as everyone else ? I mean why would you want to think like everyone else ?

This mightn't make much sense , it's hard for me to explain but i guess what im saying is that even though we have problems and we suffer ... well .... at least we are not blind , at least we are not sheep like everyone else .

I cant speak for everyone else of course but personally i think id rather suffer and "see" rather than be a sheep like everyone else .

Just had to get this off my chest , when i feel down i try to remeber im better than the average guy . I dont think or act like they do and i can "see" .

Awfully tempting to believe, isn't it? The answer is no.

This sort of argument has been brought up before, more than once.

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/are-we-smarter-than-common-people-24091/

 

[BlackPuma]

I want to agree with you, and do so on certain aspects. But the definition of ''good'', ''better'' and ''realistic'' can't be defined without use of personal opinion. Which means, that any of these arguments can't be right, nor wrong (even though neither of those exist either, but that's a whole different lecture). Like anything else that is measured with use of personal opinion/feelings, the reality of it only exists in your brain. Mere electrical signals.

No matter how we see the world, we'll always be sheep of our own personal reality. Which quite frankly is affected by a number of factors (not to mention that the human reality itself is fabricated by your own mind to attempt to understand the world and universe around it).

Whether our mindset is better or worse then the (most) common one, is not really for one person to decide. If you think so, then it's true for you. And I don't mean that in a condescending way. I really mean that, if it works for you, you should believe it.

But I don't think a ''realistic'' mentality is enough reward if it means suffering for the rest of your life. Especially when you consider what I mentioned above. We're not all-knowing creatures, nor is it likely that we'll ever will be, so why bother (too much) with uncovering trivial things like ''realism'' and ''truth''? All you ought/have to do is make your short life as good and satisfactory as you can possibly make it before being deconstructed. If that means using this mentality, then you should definitely do so.

But before you do, you have to ask yourself; Is the suffering REALLY worth it? Or is that something I tell myself as an excuse to not have to change?

Remember, I'm neither wrong nor right. Whether this is true or false for you is all up to you. I hope it helped. If not, I apologize.

 

[worrywort]

that's great that you're finding positives from your situation. I try to do the same, and I think I agree with you, but only to a certain extent. I think when we realise that often our most profound growth occurs during our deepest sufferings, we begin to see that suffering can actually be a blessing in disguise, and so, in that sense, you could say we have an advantage over people that don't experience much suffering in their lifetimes....and yea, I guess it's a slightly perverse and controversial way of seeing the world but I believe there's a lot of truth to it.

Here's an illustration; imagine running a 1000 mile race against another person, but finding that you have heavy stones chained to your feet, whilst your opponent does not. You may very well finish the race a long time after your opponent does, but by the end your legs will be immensly stronger than your opponents, and so, in the next race, you'll be the one with the advantage.

But to say that we are "better" than others is tricky. Firstly you'd have to define your scale of measurement; i.e. what makes one person "better" than another? [but as blackpuma said, that's a whole different lecture!] Also, I've known some people who suffer from depression and other mental problems who are, to be frank, not very nice people! Whilst I've also known others who have never experienced any particularly painful experiences in their lives, but are absolute saints. So I guess, in conclusion, I think life is gonna throw all kinds of things at us, but how we respond to those things is what really defines us. i.e. Do we choose to see the heavy stones chained to our ankles as a blessing or a curse? I think the way we answer that question is very important.

 

[diesel]

ok i have read the replies and now im not sure what to think .

can a moderator please delete this thread ?

oh and thanks to blackpuma and worrywort , im now re-thinking it all which is never a bad idea

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

wouldn't want to be blind in reality but less anxiety would be great too, so i think being a realistic calm individual would be best..

 

[pete2682]

Well there is a term called Depressive Realism.
"the proposition that people with depression actually have a more accurate perception of reality, specifically that they are less affected by positive illusions of illusory superiority, the illusion of control and optimism bias".....as stated on wiki. So I see where you are coming from here. Does that make a person better then another person......who are we to judge. (pardon the pun)
But it was a very interesting post by the way......so I don't think you should lobby to have a moderator take it down. It's very thought provoking.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Lately i have been thinking something which is probably controversail but none the less i think i should put it out there . I have anxiety , depression and paranoia but because of this i seem to think differently to those around me .

A lot of people on here , if not all , seem to have this too - we look at the world differently to the general population but is this such a bad thing ?

Allow me to explain , even though we are depressed etc ... We seem to have a more realistic view of the world , to me anyway . We know the world is a tough place , we think about it and examine it . We dont think or act like the average person out there , but is there a positive to this ?

I genuinely , and im not joking here , think that people here are mote intelligent than most . People here dont blend in , dont fit the "form" or what is expected but who wants to be the same as everyone else ? I mean why would you want to think like everyone else ?

This mightn't make much sense , it's hard for me to explain but i guess what im saying is that even though we have problems and we suffer ... well .... at least we are not blind , at least we are not sheep like everyone else .

I cant speak for everyone else of course but personally i think id rather suffer and "see" rather than be a sheep like everyone else .

Just had to get this off my chest , when i feel down i try to remeber im better than the average guy . I dont think or act like they do and i can "see" .

i get you about the sheep analogy and the fact that we are different, more perceptive and sensitive and empathetic. But i am not sure how this has ever worked to my advantage personally i wish i didn't care so much and could let stuff not effect me. Life would be easier if I was less sensitive. If I saw suffering and didn't really try to empathize for example, just thought about what I was going to have for dinner like the rest of society.

 

[R3K]

Normal people understand what we are and are afraid of us. They feign disinterest and ignorace to our problems because they want to encourage us out of our depression and into the majority. They feel if they show empathy and understanding to our social disability then not only will their peers think they’re weird for showing an interest in us, but they believe we will just suckle on their empathy to just to feel good for a minute and that we won’t ever actually leave our anti-social lives to join them and get “better”. The best way to explain the way forward to someone is to just shut up and show them—normal people feel like that’s what they’re doing for us when they ignore us or deny us the pity… they WANT us to see how awesome it is to be social and have friends and girl/boyfriends so we’ll get our @$$es out of the rut and join them.

I don’t think we’re smarter or more intelligent than the non-social phobes. Maybe more creative at times because of that depressive realism concept someone mentioned, but creative is just creative, and not always the most awesome thing in the world. I do think our tendancy to empathize with and help others in need is an advantage over normal people… but what do we even use that for? To help other depressed people out of THEIR depression so they can be come “better” people?

I wish someone would pay me craploads of money to be hypersensitive and non-social… I wonder what kind of jobs tailor to those traits—OOHH that’s right, hitman and catburgler, hello jail-time.

 

[mictsekk]

Idk if I'm better than most people but at least I'm not a d**k

 

[Kiwong]

I reckon there are some amazingly creative and intelligent people on here. Sometimes having that sort of sensitivity to the world can be a burden.

I am starting to view the world of people more as an equal, not better.

 

[Luke1993]

I don't know I think I'm nicer than a normal person, but in everything else I'm pretty much outclassed. So I think I'd rather be a normal sheep.

 

[diesel]

well i have noticed i shouldnt have wrote "we" in my initial post , it was wrong to assume that anyone is in the same situation or feels/thinks the same as me .

i see that now , but i still think i am better for everything . i dont mean to sound condescending or stuck-up but i consider myself better than the average person .

i have friends who if they have what i have ( which is nothing compaired to some on here ) they wouldnt be here any longer . it has made me stronger , i know i can handle more than them but only i know it .

as for more intelligent , i still stand by my belief that people on here are on average more intelligent and that is simply from my own observations on here . i have an iq of 127 but i cant do maths ... go figure lol , but im still more intelligent than someone with 110 iq who is great at maths . i think creativity is linked to intelligence and people on here are very creative and have a deeper understanding of things than most ( in my opinion )

again i shouldnt have typed "we" because we are all different .

 

[spaceboy135]

I think like this sometimes too, but then I have to remember that the only reason I'm trying to make myself better than others in my own mind is for an ego boost in the midst of having SAD. I don't think it'll help me get better. I think that putting yourself on the same playing field as everyone else, smarter or not (and I have an IQ of 137), is the best road to take. Nobody knows anything, and we're all human.

If we try to base our self esteems on intelligence, looks, athleticism, religiousness, or even on our ability to socialize with other people... we don't imbue worth into WHO we are. Only what we have. That might be part of the problem.

"Respect was invented to cover the empty place where love should be." -Leo Tolstoy

I think we try to think of ourselves as really smart or gifted or whatever-- though we may very well be, and I also think SAD people tend to be highly intelligent too-- we're only doing it because we don't feel loved. If we don't feel loved, the next best thing is inflating our ego with something... One time I did this by playing Tetris 8 hours a day till I became the 2nd fastest player in Texas-- but the sad truth was, nobody CARES! And nobody cares how smart you are, how much weight you can lift or how fast you can run, or how well you can play an instrument or draw or paint or sing or dance or whatever. What people really care about is what kind of person you are.

If we must take to these pursuits, let it be because we enjoy doing them. Not because of what we'll get from others' awe-struck faces.

I'm thankful people don't love me for my talents. That'd be a stressful performance-based life. It's all about your heart.

 

[JamieD]

I totally agree. I've thought this before. To add to the statistics, i have an IQ around 128.

I read this one theory that stated, people with depression have a more realistic and in-touch outlook of the world. Basically, the world today isn't the nicest place and it helps if you're extrovert and have an overly optimistic outlook on the world, to sort kid-yourself your way thought life