Great advice from all!
He he, oh i feel like such a kid again.
There's this girl at work and she is to die for/hot!
Every time i've been to talk to her i have been extremely anxious. Like major anxiety where it has affected me for the entire day. Anway, it's awesome because i get more chances to overcome the mind of anxiety. I am usually very confident in my ability to overcome anxiety but she is my kryptonite, making me doubt my self, how fortunate, what an opportunity!
I figured i was trying too hard to appear a certain way 'in the mind of someone else', instead of really wanting her to be happy and being my self.
Ironically, she is said to be extremelly shy, yet she mirrors in me incredible weakness, my own insecurity, beutiful.
So, what do i do?
There's 3 times in which anxiety appears to our minds in the case of situations:
Before
During
After
How do i disable this crippling mind of anxiety and gain confidence in speaking to anyone, especially the hotty?
Small goals
The antidote to a negative mind is a postive mind so with a happy warm loving heart recognising the other person suffers from anxiety also we say, "Hi, how are you?" - this is the ultimate confidence builder. Great foundation. I have been using this to build my confidence. If you set your self the challenge to say this to everyone you meet you can then be confident that you can speak to anyone, even the hotty! Everyone deals with anxiety daily. They deserve our love.
The trick is to not judge your self on anything else. Just the 'Hi how are you?'
Even if you get stuck for words or stutter, it doesnt matter, you meet the goal and you become happy about it nothing more needs to be done on your part, however the conversation goes. So simple, really, really powerful.
The benefits of using small goals like this is that we cease to judge our performance, we let go of expectations, we let go of anxiety, we stop thinking and enjoy the conversation. We can start every conversation already winning in our mind, confident. We let go of everything else, this is a realistic way of building supreme confidence, compassion and increasing our ability to connect with others. Anxiety is weakened in the start, during the conversation and at the end, we simply ignore any other faults.
I only used to talk to a couple of people now i speak to 40+ people a day.
I figured, learning to care for somone is paramount initially rather than thinking with my dick, there needs to be a mutual warm connection. Then from this real stable friendships will evolve naturally.
Jack