CelestialDreams
Member
I gotta ask this jsut to see if there's anyone else out here that's caught themself doing this.. it's really messed up I think.
I've always had an issue with the way I look, ever since 4th grade I think.. I had messed up teeth and then severe acne as a teenager, which I still have an issue with.. was also always very small chested and tried to stuff in high school, which of course only gives me more shame nowadays.. anyway.. what's messed up is, when I'm out in public and someone looks at me or is nice to me, I think it's because they think I'm pretty...?? How messed up is that? I mean, if I've always felt so damn ugly, why in the world would I be thinking in this way? Is it some crazy obsession that I've developed over the years to cope? Does anyone else do this?
I finally am over the way I look, well, most of the time.. but I want to stop thinking this way. I don't want to think "oh this person thinks I'm pretty cause they're talking to me".. I mean, it's nice if someone thinks I'm pretty, but to actually think that way about everyone that looks my way or talks to me has become pretty detrimental.. I think guys only talk to me because they might be attracted to me, all the while I've always had issues with my looks? WTF is wrong with me?
I've always had an issue with the way I look, ever since 4th grade I think.. I had messed up teeth and then severe acne as a teenager, which I still have an issue with.. was also always very small chested and tried to stuff in high school, which of course only gives me more shame nowadays.. anyway.. what's messed up is, when I'm out in public and someone looks at me or is nice to me, I think it's because they think I'm pretty...?? How messed up is that? I mean, if I've always felt so damn ugly, why in the world would I be thinking in this way? Is it some crazy obsession that I've developed over the years to cope? Does anyone else do this?
I finally am over the way I look, well, most of the time.. but I want to stop thinking this way. I don't want to think "oh this person thinks I'm pretty cause they're talking to me".. I mean, it's nice if someone thinks I'm pretty, but to actually think that way about everyone that looks my way or talks to me has become pretty detrimental.. I think guys only talk to me because they might be attracted to me, all the while I've always had issues with my looks? WTF is wrong with me?