When I speak, all I see is my face

Toomuchfear

Toomuchfear

Well-known member
I find when I'm talking to authority figures or very confident people, all I can see is my silly face! I'm very self conscious of my voice, and how stupid it sounds. I try and try to listen to the other person speak, but my mind quickly wanders.

Earlier today I was trying to have a conversation with someone with work, but every time I hit an awkward silence, I could imagine looking foolish.

I also find if someone ignores me...those unheard last words I spoke will ring in my ears

Anyone know how to battle this?
 
matthew_

matthew_

Active member
Toomuchfear said:
I find when I'm talking to authority figures or very confident people, all I can see is my silly face! I'm very self conscious of my voice, and how stupid it sounds. I try and try to listen to the other person speak, but my mind quickly wanders.

Earlier today I was trying to have a conversation with someone with work, but every time I hit an awkward silence, I could imagine looking foolish.

I also find if someone ignores me...those unheard last words I spoke will ring in my ears

Anyone know how to battle this?
Click to expand...

There is never a single solution, since we are all so different.

Best I can do, is tell you some thought processes that I personally think are healthy, that I mostly successfully go with.

I personally don't find the most attractive, or seemingly powerful person in the room to be the most interesting. Others are the same.

I often want to know the story of someone who I actually like. That person may be bald, or have a burnt face, or a stutter. Or none of these things.
Regardless of if you percieve yourself as having a problem, or do have a problem, people generally look through this. Not everyone does. But they are the exception rather than the rule.

.
I have no idea if that helped. :D

Also, someone simply telling you not to care, is an insult. If you ask me. People keep giving me advice like "why do you even care". BECAUSE I DO. It's not about taking simple advice like that. It's about understanding something deeper, and taking yourself through the phases of healthy thought processes, and actually believing them and they get confirmed through experimentation, a single belief - requires lot's of little steps.
 
Last edited:
Falkor

Falkor

1
Wow I could have wrote this! I'm so self concious about my voice, that I think I sound like a complete idiot all the time, this is exactly what I'm so worried about, and also my gestures, I look so awkward! You know.. I feel anxious so I'll act nervous, which makes me awkward, which includes thoughts of being silly, BAM! more anxiety building up.. Dammn. I just hate it!!
I think I'm silly,idiotic,strange and stupid, and the list goes on. We're putting too much focus on our own body language,face expression, emotions etc.. too much attention on your own attitude..
I think I'm too hard on myself, I always wanna be like a cool person and not wanna show my emotions because I'm ashamed of it, stupid ain't it?
I just can't let it be.. But at the same time I should, it's what I am now and I cannot fix it, just auger it outta my head with a drill.. o_O
I'm always over-thinking about this solution, but I know it's just my own self worth , I just need to accept myself and don't have to come to the point that I tell myself I'm not good enough or ugly or a waste of time, boring, and weird.. all those stupid thoughts.. I just need to think differently, because people around me do accept me, the only person who is not precieving myself on good, Is just me... So what i'm tryin' to say.. it's just in our head, drill it out. (Or atleast try to)
 
Mickery

Mickery

Well-known member
That's good. If you can recognize your thought pattern, you can catch yourself and learn to pre-emptively stop. That's what CBT is all about.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top