Why do we fear of people? give me Your reason of fear
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4seasons
Well-known member
What a fucking coward. I don't understand how any guy could hit a girl.Caseums21 said:
I think its just my self confidence and I never really learned as a kid to take a joke or laugh things off and because of that I was picked on by people very close to me. I have always looked down on myself so much and I still do, I feel like I'm not good enough to have friends, everyone is to good for me.
Depressed4life
Banned
...
I been bully when i was little. I have really low self steem and i think that everyone is better than me. I dress really crappy and i see people dressing so glamorous so i get intimidated. I don't have any personality because of the way that i was raised, i was raised basicly to be stuck in the house 24/7 without friends and stuff. THis lead to being anxious and afraid of other humans, i even used to spent weeks without seeing the sunlight....However, deep down.... i don't really know what made me afraid of people...i just don't know...humans just intimidate me.
I been bully when i was little. I have really low self steem and i think that everyone is better than me. I dress really crappy and i see people dressing so glamorous so i get intimidated. I don't have any personality because of the way that i was raised, i was raised basicly to be stuck in the house 24/7 without friends and stuff. THis lead to being anxious and afraid of other humans, i even used to spent weeks without seeing the sunlight....However, deep down.... i don't really know what made me afraid of people...i just don't know...humans just intimidate me.
mesc000
Active member
My SA got a lot worse after I met this guy through a friend of mine. We met at a party, talked and I really got to like him. After that we kept in touch and one night he asked to come over. I let him and we talked and things went great.... or so I thought. Found out later from my friend that he told her and an entire group of her friends how aloof and sarcastic I was and how he just "didn't get me and was so unsure of me" So my SA comes out even in moments when I'm pretty relaxed and at ease?!!!
This is why I 'fear' people.... My lack of self-worth and that other cliched bullshit. Also, I think there is this inherent "bitchy, ice-queen, aloofness" I give off. Its like my defining characteristic and it makes me so exhausted that I don;t even talk anymore in those large group settings... I feel like there is nothing that people can take from other than that introverted, weirdo persona.
This is why I 'fear' people.... My lack of self-worth and that other cliched bullshit. Also, I think there is this inherent "bitchy, ice-queen, aloofness" I give off. Its like my defining characteristic and it makes me so exhausted that I don;t even talk anymore in those large group settings... I feel like there is nothing that people can take from other than that introverted, weirdo persona.
coriander1992
Well-known member
Because people can make life very hard for other people.
I was a happy, care-free child. As I got older, everyone I loved and trusted said and did shitty things to me. By my early 20's, I realized you can't really trust people because they only disappoint and hurt you when they can.
Realistically, I know this isn't true for everyone. But it's hard to change my way of thinking since that's always been my experience.
Realistically, I know this isn't true for everyone. But it's hard to change my way of thinking since that's always been my experience.
princess_haru
Well-known member
Fear of rejection and humiliation; fear of other people's behaviour confirming the inner voice that tells me I'm inadequate, awkward, boring and pointless. Fear of exposure to their scrutiny and of being found amusing, pitiable or worst of all, unworthy of their attention.
People are scary
People are scary
social_phobia2008
Well-known member
princess_haru said:Fear of rejection and humiliation; fear of other people's behaviour confirming the inner voice that tells me I'm inadequate, awkward, boring and pointless. Fear of exposure to their scrutiny and of being found amusing, pitiable or worst of all, unworthy of their attention.
People are scary
Thanks, i would never find the words to describe it so well. :wink:
Particularry, i was ashamed of exteriorising for as long as i can remember, I don't know why, and i belive it's not caused by something, it's a f'cked up gene or something.
Excuse my grammar.
Argamemnon
Well-known member
I fear people because, unlike them, I can't cope with the stresses in life. I'm much weaker than most people and don't enjoy life.
princess_haru
Well-known member
social_phobia2008 said:
Thanks
Heh, if only it were as easy to be eloquent in verbal conversations as it is in written ones. Face to face, SA kicks in and I'm often reduced to "um, it's like, yeah... cool." :roll:
dpr
Well-known member
lots of things
I fear groups of people much more than just being in a "one-on-one" conversation.
I especially hate it when someone says something that causes others to laugh and I don't find it funny, but I feel like I have to laugh because everyone else is laughing. I often wonder if others can tell I am "fake laughing." Even if I would normally consider what was said to be funny, sometimes I am so anxious from the SA, that funny comments don't even register, so no matter what I am fake laughing. I have tried not laughing, and I feel awkward. I feel like everyone is thinking "He has no sense of humour," or "He's too stupid to get it," or the classic "He's weird."
Because of this, I usually try to keep conversations with acquaintances and co-workers on a "serious" level, even though I have a great sense of humour with my close friends and family.
I also don't think it is necessarily a "fear" of people (even though it is called Social Phobia). I think, on some level, I sort of hate people. Not every person of course, but the majority of people. I always expect them to be sensitive and empathetic and they always let me down.
Sometimes I feel like my weirdness/weakness can be spotted a mile away and that some people take this as a cue to take advantage of me or ignore me or not take me seriously.
Sometimes I intentionally say weird, off-color things to people (especially my co-workers) just to let them know that I am as not as weak as they may think.
I fear groups of people much more than just being in a "one-on-one" conversation.
I especially hate it when someone says something that causes others to laugh and I don't find it funny, but I feel like I have to laugh because everyone else is laughing. I often wonder if others can tell I am "fake laughing." Even if I would normally consider what was said to be funny, sometimes I am so anxious from the SA, that funny comments don't even register, so no matter what I am fake laughing. I have tried not laughing, and I feel awkward. I feel like everyone is thinking "He has no sense of humour," or "He's too stupid to get it," or the classic "He's weird."
Because of this, I usually try to keep conversations with acquaintances and co-workers on a "serious" level, even though I have a great sense of humour with my close friends and family.
I also don't think it is necessarily a "fear" of people (even though it is called Social Phobia). I think, on some level, I sort of hate people. Not every person of course, but the majority of people. I always expect them to be sensitive and empathetic and they always let me down.
Sometimes I feel like my weirdness/weakness can be spotted a mile away and that some people take this as a cue to take advantage of me or ignore me or not take me seriously.
Sometimes I intentionally say weird, off-color things to people (especially my co-workers) just to let them know that I am as not as weak as they may think.
princess_haru
Well-known member
Re: lots of things
This reminded me of an incident a few years ago when I was getting my hair cut in a small salon. As it was a tiny room the staff were chatting to each other while they cut hair and at first I was trying to listen but as they carried on ignoring me I got bored and just daydreamed. At one point they all started laughing and I felt a bit silly just sitting there so I laughed too. They all looked at me and one asked "did you get that joke?" I felt a bit nonplussed and just nodded, wondering if they thought I looked too stupid to get a joke... it wasn't until they looked at each other strangely that I realised it must've been an in-joke between them that I couldn't have possibly understood After that they treated me a bit oddly, as if I were slightly retarded. The thing is, if they hadn't been being so rude and ignoring their customer, I wouldn't have zoned out in the first place! Needless to say I haven't been back... but now I try not to laugh unless I know what I'm laughing at!
dpr said:
This reminded me of an incident a few years ago when I was getting my hair cut in a small salon. As it was a tiny room the staff were chatting to each other while they cut hair and at first I was trying to listen but as they carried on ignoring me I got bored and just daydreamed. At one point they all started laughing and I felt a bit silly just sitting there so I laughed too. They all looked at me and one asked "did you get that joke?" I felt a bit nonplussed and just nodded, wondering if they thought I looked too stupid to get a joke... it wasn't until they looked at each other strangely that I realised it must've been an in-joke between them that I couldn't have possibly understood
After that they treated me a bit oddly, as if I were slightly retarded. The thing is, if they hadn't been being so rude and ignoring their customer, I wouldn't have zoned out in the first place! Needless to say I haven't been back... but now I try not to laugh unless I know what I'm laughing at!
ghost_train
Well-known member
princess_haru said:Thanks
haha- yeah, my god, you said it. I find it so irritating that just being in the proximity of some people totally inhibits your vocabulary and ease of expression. What sometimes works to overcome it is to just say nothing, 'sit back' and allow yourself to be comfortable in the silence for a while- as though you feel no pressure to say anything at all. Sometimes this frees you up enough for normal thoughts to come and unimpeded words to flow.
Johnson8681
New member
I think it's because in some way I fear who I am and project that onto thers.
bleach
Banned
princess_haru said:Fear of rejection and humiliation; fear of other people's behaviour confirming the inner voice that tells me I'm inadequate, awkward, boring and pointless. Fear of exposure to their scrutiny and of being found amusing, pitiable or worst of all, unworthy of their attention.
People are scary
dpr
Well-known member
Re: lots of things
Wow... that would have sucked. But you're right, if they hadn't ignored you, you wouldn't have zoned out.
That's a good point though, I never though of that happening. It's a good reason to not laugh unless you really want to.
But it takes a lot to make me laugh. I think people would definitely think I'm a humorless weirdo. Ah well... might as well be me.
princess_haru said:This reminded me of an incident a few years ago when I was getting my hair cut in a small salon. As it was a tiny room the staff were chatting to each other while they cut hair and at first I was trying to listen but as they carried on ignoring me I got bored and just daydreamed. At one point they all started laughing and I felt a bit silly just sitting there so I laughed too. They all looked at me and one asked "did you get that joke?" I felt a bit nonplussed and just nodded, wondering if they thought I looked too stupid to get a joke... it wasn't until they looked at each other strangely that I realised it must've been an in-joke between them that I couldn't have possibly understood
Wow... that would have sucked. But you're right, if they hadn't ignored you, you wouldn't have zoned out.
That's a good point though, I never though of that happening. It's a good reason to not laugh unless you really want to.
But it takes a lot to make me laugh. I think people would definitely think I'm a humorless weirdo. Ah well... might as well be me.
Quetzalcoatl
Well-known member
Uggh, I know what you mean...Like when someone who is a bit TOO comfortable in their own skin is being loud, obnoxious, in your face and loving it! I really dislike when people get in my face for any reason unless I am really close with them. IDK thats just what I thought of when I read your comment!Kien said:
princess_haru
Well-known member
Re: lots of things
Yeah, damn them! *aims a bitch slap at each of their faces*
It definitely helps to talk about this stuff. People who don't have SA might see it as trivial stuff and tell us to "get over it" (I really hate hearing that!) but when you're already nervous and low in confidence it's a terrible thing to have someone treat you differently, look at you strangely or laugh at you behind your back.
dpr said:
Yeah, damn them! *aims a bitch slap at each of their faces*
It definitely helps to talk about this stuff. People who don't have SA might see it as trivial stuff and tell us to "get over it" (I really hate hearing that!) but when you're already nervous and low in confidence it's a terrible thing to have someone treat you differently, look at you strangely or laugh at you behind your back.
villacjs
Well-known member
For me it is the fear of blushing I think it caused of social phobia not the other way around because life before blushing was good.
I've recently been to a psychiatrist and been given the tools (in other words meds) to tackle my problem. I got given Zyprexa, Lexapro, Inderal, Xanax and Valium. Hopefully being full of meds will do the trick, only time will tell
I think it caused of social phobia not the other way around because life before blushing was good.I've recently been to a psychiatrist and been given the tools (in other words meds) to tackle my problem. I got given Zyprexa, Lexapro, Inderal, Xanax and Valium. Hopefully being full of meds will do the trick, only time will tell