txjeepin
Member
I posted a few weeks ago when I started the new semester again (2nd year and im still having probs).
Now my anxiety has gotten worse. In class, for some reason I get extremely nervous now. I think it stems from the fact that I live at the school now, and I want to make a good impression so i can begin to meet new people. It is just too much work for me. My brain is going a million miles per hour thinking about being nice to people, how I look, if people are looking at me, oh there is the professor, should I listen?, oh shit how do I seem to others, etc etc.
What is really bad is I've gotten so anxious that my blood pressure increases and my head has started to tic. Now I don't know if it is noticable to others but it is to me and I focus on trying to surpress the nervous tic all during class. It is so annoying and depressing. I haven't had this before. On top of that my face gets red from the blood rush and I get hot and feel like I cant breathe very good. Even today my family had a very large party and I felt distant, nervous, anxious, hot, shaky, etc, in front of my own family!
What is even sadder is my mother, the only person I can talk to, has listened to me tell her my problems too many times, and it is like she is getting tired of hearing it. My father tells me that I am in control of how I feel, but in reality being in control of myself seems like light years away. I dont know what to do anymore. My family doesn't know what to say, and I feel like talking to them doesn't really help because look where I am at now: nowhere. what the fuck is wrong with me? my life is going nowhere I am an ugly ass SOB with no future, ambition, interests, friends, and I am always depressed.
Now my anxiety has gotten worse. In class, for some reason I get extremely nervous now. I think it stems from the fact that I live at the school now, and I want to make a good impression so i can begin to meet new people. It is just too much work for me. My brain is going a million miles per hour thinking about being nice to people, how I look, if people are looking at me, oh there is the professor, should I listen?, oh shit how do I seem to others, etc etc.
What is really bad is I've gotten so anxious that my blood pressure increases and my head has started to tic. Now I don't know if it is noticable to others but it is to me and I focus on trying to surpress the nervous tic all during class. It is so annoying and depressing. I haven't had this before. On top of that my face gets red from the blood rush and I get hot and feel like I cant breathe very good. Even today my family had a very large party and I felt distant, nervous, anxious, hot, shaky, etc, in front of my own family!
What is even sadder is my mother, the only person I can talk to, has listened to me tell her my problems too many times, and it is like she is getting tired of hearing it. My father tells me that I am in control of how I feel, but in reality being in control of myself seems like light years away. I dont know what to do anymore. My family doesn't know what to say, and I feel like talking to them doesn't really help because look where I am at now: nowhere. what the fuck is wrong with me? my life is going nowhere I am an ugly ass SOB with no future, ambition, interests, friends, and I am always depressed.
