worthless!!

[LA323]

man im so tired of this shit, sometimes i wish i wasnt ven born "FOR WHAT" i mean if im gonna live like this, like if i was paralyzed why even be alive, i feel like shit cuz people around me r succesful and im the only idiot thats behind in life, i feel so empty and i feel like im just taking space in this world, a few days ago iwas talking 2 my friend (which goes 2 college) and said "dont be scared, and go to school and face life" and hes right but it makes me feel like if he sees me being weak, but its just becuase of this shit that has fucked up my life. i have no HS diploma, no job, and no plans 4 the future, why bother, its gonna be the same old story, ill try to do it, but then give up cuz i cant bare it. i feel worthless and empty. I NEED SOME ONE TO SAVE ME FROM THIS HOLE IM IN, ASAP!!!!!!

 

[Anonymous]

Hi La... sorry you are feeling so bad and at risk of possibly making you feel even worse, I must tell you that you must depend on no one except yourself to get you out of your rut. It will be a lot of hard work, but face it and achieve it... other wise you will always be dpending on others for everything in your life and not feeling good about yourself for getting there without the help. Once you have it all behind you and did it on your own, you can be proud of yourself that you accomplished it and more importantly, independently. Once you've reached that point depending soley on yourself to do it you have the confidence in yourself that you can achive yours goals independantly, you will continue to keep moving upward in a positive direction! You can do it! Make up your mind once and for all that no matter what gets in your way, you will succeed. Go for it La! Best wishes!

 

[Yossarian]

I'm kind of in the same position as you LA. I have managed to piss away every opportunity and bit of potential I have/had. I've made a few atttempts at further education but it's the same old story. SP makes bad. Just because I haven't achieved anything yet doesn't mean I can't in the future though. (If I type though one more time today I'm going to break my fingers!! :twisted: )

As for the same old story? Well so is doing nothing. At least for me I'm tired of nothingness now. Maybe it's just another temporary state of mind but at the moment I feel I would rather try and fail then do nothing. I'm not sure what I want or is the best thing to do but at least I'll be 'out there' doing something. If college only lasts for 2 or 3 months then at least I've had 2 or 3 months of something plus the hope of maybe this time things will be different. To me it's a choice of failure or failure with a chance of success.

Sorry I can't save from the hole you are in but as Guest said it's up to you. Plus I've got to save my self first. I can certainly wish you luck and repeat (again) what guest said that you can do it. It might not be easy but with many SP things it is possible.

 

[Anonymous]

i just..i also feel paralysed..my advice is to go get what you can when you can..the rest of the time..just die quietly and try and focus what energy you have into somehting peoductive. sp/sa is a handicap. im paralysed by it often...i fond depression similiarly disempowering....but hey ive made it this far and ive managed to have a couple of kicks...they keep me warm on the lonely dark nights....the other option..is just...crap..cant giv up hope..take a deep breath cause youve just started..

 

[aligurl09]

hey i graduated from hs last yr and i took time off from college last semester bcuz i needed a break and my SA kicked in... BUT now im going to colelge i just started and its tough but yeah im trying to do it cuz i know i need to and i want to do this for myself... it sounds like u reallie do wanna go to school but u just have fears about it... about ur hs diploma.. i mean u could easily go to any community college and work on getting a GED and then go to college after that... if u reallie wanna do it u should jus TRY...

 

[Anonymous]

No man, you're not worthless. You're not clueless to your situation and you know how to change it. All that's left is doing it, and of course, that's the hardest part.

This thing can take decades from you if you let it.

 

[FighterGurl81]

LA, I understand how you feel. We all do because we all have this damn disorder. But you can beat it. You want to do something with your life, you just have to find a way to fight this disorder. Don't let it overpower you and overtake your life. You have to learn how to control IT, and not let IT control you. It's gonna be hard in the beginning, but it always is. You just have to take that first step. Making an appointment with a psychiatrist/therapist is the first step. Just making that phone call is hard, but once you do it you'll be glad you did. You're young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Just get mad at 'it' and say to yourself with determination: "I CAN BEAT YOU!". It'll give you strength to get through the days. Those psychiatry/therapy sessions do work. Once you've had your first discussion with your them, you come outta there feeling pretty good. Just make that first step, dont let this thing control your life. Just remember that you can beat this.

 

[Anonymous]

College

I am a junior in college right now. After a terrible semester in the fall I am back and trying to swing things around the way they were before. The hardest part (with most things in life) is getting it started. Once you start; you just have to roll with it. I think high school is stupid and I think college is stupid. Both of these types of institutions promote conformity and discourage creativity. They give alot of supid people power. One will only find one or two college professors that inspire. This is just ridiculous. I was not made for schooling. However, I am going to try and push through. LA schooling might not be for you. If I were you I would earn your GED and go to culinary school or join the Coast Guard. You must get your GED to start. Then, ponder any options you can think of and then write them down listing the benefit and negatives about each one. Then determine what you think you should do. Do not get so down on your self about your situation. Just because you are stuck in a grind doesn't mean you cannot fix it. Trust me; there are many people in college that are miserable. I am a perfect example and there are many others; I am sure. One final phrase that you must remember: "It is always darkest before dawn."