Your parents - too hard on you, or not hard enough?

[Hellhound]

He didn't really give a crap and she treated me like her pet, she was also hard on me for nothing, but she would be extremely soft with my brother and sister even if they were bad. As for my siblings... they are spoiled violent idiots, they both were hard on me as well for no reason too.

 

[davidburke]

my mother has alot of anger issues, when i was really young she used to hit me when i did something wrong which is should never be done to a child no matter what. my father is the best. he is the calmest, nicest, most genuine person ever but i wasn't spoilt

 

[scarletlee]

I try not to resent my parents for the way i turned out but i sometimes wonder if things would be different if they didn't ignore my problems and had taken me more seriously. There were a lot of other problems going on in the house when i was a teenager so when ever i tried to talk about my issues i was always told i didn't know what stress was! I felt so bitter about it at the time that i left home at 16.
I'm sure i'd still have SA anyway but a little support in the early days might have helped me deal with it better.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

lucky for me, my mother literally slept through most of my childhood(depression), she never made any effort to "raise me", thank god. save for some wacky religious beliefs, she never tried to teach or instill anything in me. i wouldnt have wanted to be forced into anything. id rather have a bad parent than an overly interested one, yikes!

 

[Brightinfinity]

I sometimes got really harsh spontaneous punishments for things (mostly for 'bad' grades), even though I was a pretty good kid. But I didn't have to do chores and wasn't really forced to do things (except as part of those random punishments).

 

[FountainandFairfax]

My dad was, I wasn't allowed to do a lot of things most others my age were until I was a couple of years older. And some of the stuff he was protective over was just stupid. My mom was just really obsessive over things.

 

[xSleepy]

I'm not really sure if my parents were hard on me. I know for sure I didn't have it easy though.

I've always had to clean around the house since I was a kid. I highly doubt they forced me to clean so much because they wanted to teach me how to be responsible and clean up for myself.. I think they were just lazy and thought 'well I have kids, might as well make them clean up my mess'. I really really hated it. My dad was actually extremley picky with how I did things. He would try to control every single thing I did. I never did anything right. I never washed the dishes right, took the trash out right, vacuumed right, dusted right, cooked right.. and I would get yelled at for it. So this of course made me constantly second guess myself and it made me feel like I had to ask what to do and how to do it. and of course increased my anxiety. I started doubting everything I did.. which I think has contributed to my "effed upness" now. I feel like I have to ask permission for everything because I'm terrified of doing something wrong.

For awhile I actually lived alone in the house I grew up in. It was great! I cleaned for myself, cooked, paid bills, grocery shopped, applied for jobs... it wasn't very hard.
So in a way my parents were too hard on me. They were very neglectful and didn't prepare me enough for life. I can't make a living off of keeping my house clean.. unless I get a sugar daddy, which I don't want lol. School was never talked about, I recentley barely learned what college, university and degrees were... thanks to the internets and internet friends.

I'm glad my parents didn't push me more to do social stuff, beacause I really was not interested in that. I wish they helped me be a stronger person and make me feel that it's ok to be me. They for sure could have been easier on me and more helpful.

geez sorry, this is kinda long..

 

[Lea]

I can see most of you had parents who ignored you, didn't force you to do anything or on the contrary were overprotective, inconsistent or controlling. Same with me, I was basicaly let all to myself, nobody punished me but didn't care either. At the same time, I was prohibited to do many things other children did, or go out etc.

I think children need to be raised somehow, receive clear instructions - do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that - and be set some rules, taught how to be responsible and disciplined. Plus they need their parent's interest and consistent attention, not ignorance or inconsistent and arbitrary attention or punishments. All this, the ignorance and inconsistence, or overcontrollingness in my opinion attribute to the feelings or abandonment and insecurity of the children when they grow up, and their difficulties to take care of themselves.