silverbullet
New member
Some of the stories on here remind myself that things could be worse. I'm not saying this to make fun or put down, I struggle with my own form of agoraphobia (which I will outline shortly) and I can only imagine how hard it must be not be able to leave the house. I feel for you all, I truly do.
My fear started off simply as a fear of flying. Not so much that the plane would crash, but because I couldn't get off. For years, I just went through it anyway, always feeling better once on the plane and at my destination.
Then in 2010, I got sick. Really sick. Heart problems sick. I was in the hospital for 5 days with an arrhythmic condition, in 2011 I had surgery to fix the problem. But in between those two events I was on medication, medication that made me feel like crap.
Also, I have IBS.
My fear was that I would get sick in a situation I couldn't escape, planes being the biggest problem, but now the problem has spread. Boat rides (short ones), car washes (automatic ones).
From 2011-2012 I was in a relationship with a physician, who understood agoraphobia but was less than sympathetic to my plight. She couldn't understand why I couldn't go on vacation, or fly home to see my family.
I live in Toronto, Canada, my dad is in New Brunswick and my mom is in Vancouver. I haven't been home in over a year and I haven't been to Vancouver in 3.
I miss my family.
I have seen three therapists for CBT, but once we start doing exposure I have a hard time carrying through. It's like there is this invisible wall from where I am to where I want to be and I can't break through it. Even car washes (of 3 minutes in length) are too much to face.
I'm really feeling at a loss of what to do at this point.
Sorry for this being a bit rambling, that's just where I am.
My fear started off simply as a fear of flying. Not so much that the plane would crash, but because I couldn't get off. For years, I just went through it anyway, always feeling better once on the plane and at my destination.
Then in 2010, I got sick. Really sick. Heart problems sick. I was in the hospital for 5 days with an arrhythmic condition, in 2011 I had surgery to fix the problem. But in between those two events I was on medication, medication that made me feel like crap.
Also, I have IBS.
My fear was that I would get sick in a situation I couldn't escape, planes being the biggest problem, but now the problem has spread. Boat rides (short ones), car washes (automatic ones).
From 2011-2012 I was in a relationship with a physician, who understood agoraphobia but was less than sympathetic to my plight. She couldn't understand why I couldn't go on vacation, or fly home to see my family.
I live in Toronto, Canada, my dad is in New Brunswick and my mom is in Vancouver. I haven't been home in over a year and I haven't been to Vancouver in 3.
I miss my family.
I have seen three therapists for CBT, but once we start doing exposure I have a hard time carrying through. It's like there is this invisible wall from where I am to where I want to be and I can't break through it. Even car washes (of 3 minutes in length) are too much to face.
I'm really feeling at a loss of what to do at this point.
Sorry for this being a bit rambling, that's just where I am.