CosmicNeurotica
Banned
I feel that for people to "hate" you, they first need to get to know you in order to have something to hate. Very often we allow our own impressions of ourselves to affect the way we perceive others to see us.
Try just ignoring these feelings and see what happens, remember, what we feel inside is what we radiate out to others, very much like a unspoken language or subliminal body language.
Well, that is my opinion anyway, all the best.
But this is what makes my situation worse. I think that everyone else can sense my fear and it just makes me more afraid. I can try to be normal, but in the end all I'm thinking about is "crap, they know I'm afraid."
I also know others don't like me because I don't have a job and they think I'm narcissistic, which maybe I am. I don't mean to be. I guess I just have a hatred for people because I'm jealous and I've never been able to associate with others. I never say what I feel, only what I think I should so that people will like me.
I can never bring myself to say what's actually on my mind. Probably because I've done it all my life. What's in my head stays in my head and never comes out as words. If I start talking, all I hear is my voice.
It's even hard to finalize what I'm thinking into typing. My mind gets jumbled and can't think straight. I never know what to say.
But eh. It is what it is. I wish I could change. I really do. But I guess I just don't care enough. Still.