i think passion is what drives people so much, they fel passionate about certain things and this gives them happiness or enjoyment..problem is, how does one develop passion, it would seem that its either there or it isnt..there are people around me that work 40 plus hours a week, do volunteer work, have a wife and kids and still manage to have a social life on top of those other things..it boggle my mind where they get the energy or drive to do that..they have some strong internal drive that i have never begun to understand..
Why do people like life so much?
- Thread starter Rumplestiltskin
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S_Spartan
Well-known member
I think their lives are one big positive feedback loop. The problem is, how do you get that loop started? Pretty much everything I have done has resulted in either no feedback or negative feedback but mostly no feedback.
I call it luck. What are the odds of being born in a developed country, being born into a well-off family/environment, receiving enough nurture and love to prepare oneself for the outside world, etc etc? It's a matter of luck. Some people get lucky right from the start.
Kiwong
Well-known member
I suppose for me it is finding the motivation. The times that I have really been happy, and inspired and proudest of, are the times I have had to work hard for something, without any guarantee of success. It has been the reward for effort that really flavours my achievements.
Initially my motivation to change came out of necessity - survival. I came from a place of complete and utter ill health, despair and darkness to achieve some happiness
Some examples studying mature age, beating panic disorder, beating knee pain, learning to swim as an adult, running again after twenty years with injured knees, running marathons. Achieving things without any effort is not something I aspire to, and that has never been something that has happened to me.
My equation for action is
Thoughts= dreams = actions = results
The thought I will run a marathon, turned into a dream, I will run a marathon before 50. I trained for two years, worried that I might get injured or sick. The result was I ran my first marathon at age 50 year and 3 days. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but when I crossed the finish line the reward for effort was huge.
What are your dreams? I write mine down, and that way they get so stuck in my head, I begin to act on them.
Whether I see hope or despair depends on which way I turn my mind. My mind is powerful it convinced me I was dieing = despair. It also convinced me I could run a marathon = hope. A mind is powerful and it can trick you into only seeing a particular outcome.
The nightmare of anxiety makes my life hard, it is a battle. I'm not very well liked, I've never been in relationship. But somehow I still see hope, my anxiety is severe, my depression is moderate. For me it is the distractions like running, photography, the natural world that help me see hope.
Initially my motivation to change came out of necessity - survival. I came from a place of complete and utter ill health, despair and darkness to achieve some happiness
Some examples studying mature age, beating panic disorder, beating knee pain, learning to swim as an adult, running again after twenty years with injured knees, running marathons. Achieving things without any effort is not something I aspire to, and that has never been something that has happened to me.
My equation for action is
Thoughts= dreams = actions = results
The thought I will run a marathon, turned into a dream, I will run a marathon before 50. I trained for two years, worried that I might get injured or sick. The result was I ran my first marathon at age 50 year and 3 days. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but when I crossed the finish line the reward for effort was huge.
What are your dreams? I write mine down, and that way they get so stuck in my head, I begin to act on them.
Whether I see hope or despair depends on which way I turn my mind. My mind is powerful it convinced me I was dieing = despair. It also convinced me I could run a marathon = hope. A mind is powerful and it can trick you into only seeing a particular outcome.
The nightmare of anxiety makes my life hard, it is a battle. I'm not very well liked, I've never been in relationship. But somehow I still see hope, my anxiety is severe, my depression is moderate. For me it is the distractions like running, photography, the natural world that help me see hope.
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Xervello
Well-known member
I live for television. Television and garlic crust pizzas. I'm not even joking. Well, maybe about the pizzas. But I never joke about television. Back when Lost was on, I told myself I have to live long enough to see how it ends! Then I said the same about Dexter (what a disappointment that was, lol) and Breaking Bad (totally worth it!) and now I wanna see how Game of Thrones ends. And to a lesser extent The Walking Dead.
Eurgh. Don't you just hate people like that? :thumbdown:
In all seriousness though, really, there's no point in hating them because it's not going to change anything. I'm trying to not be so bothered about other people's lives and try and work on improving my own. They don't matter. Good luck to them.
MikeyC
Well-known member
I know someone like this: born into a wealthy family and he's going to take over his father's business, and he's been overseas countless times, and he's only 23 or 24 now. He has it really good and I envy what he has. Luck of the draw, I suppose.
I'm going to be honest: I wish that was me. Having things to do all the time makes me forget about depression, so keeping busy is the best. To live that life you'd have to enjoy your job, too, haha.
Oh, yeah! :thumbup:
Livemylife
Well-known member
I think this is a great question. But I'm wary about giving a thoughtful, full response because the last time I did that the OP simply posted under me "this site is so depressing." Plus the OP of this thread never even came back in here. Edit: Never mind, didn't read enough of thread
I've seen those stickers that say "Life is good" on them. I find the statement hard to believe. Even if I weren't miserable, I can't imagine thinking my life is "good." I do wonder if these people are lying, but maybe they're telling the truth. I think maybe they can easily get more joy out of things. It may even be a chemical thing where they naturally release more serotonin or something. Maybe they don't think about the world or injustice too much either.
I've seen those stickers that say "Life is good" on them. I find the statement hard to believe. Even if I weren't miserable, I can't imagine thinking my life is "good." I do wonder if these people are lying, but maybe they're telling the truth. I think maybe they can easily get more joy out of things. It may even be a chemical thing where they naturally release more serotonin or something. Maybe they don't think about the world or injustice too much either.
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skins
1
^^^i couldn't agree more with this...this is what scares me so much, even more then death itself, because i know it's whats happening to me.
Its o.k to say one can live without the ego, but unless you are born into a buddhist monastery, you need a healthy ego in order to function normally in our western, capitalist society. Its a sad reality.
BlueDays
1
^I think this has a lot to do with the people who say they "love life".
Life is so horrific for so many people on this planet, and not only in the third world countries either.
It seems that the people who say "life is great" have developed a way to put "blinkers" on so they don't notice or are able to ignore the suffering of other people around them.
In my opinion there are also many people who only say they love life because they are putting on a happy attitude to fit in with a society that demands it.
Pacific_Loner
Pirate from the North Pole
You have to start it yourself, don't look for positive feedback from others. Do things that make you proud of yourself, be your own feedback. I think the rest will follow, if that "rest" matters anyway
^Excellent advice! 
This thread is about your depression and unhappiness. It's about what's in your head.
You carry your head wherever you go, and along with it all of your head problems.
It resonates with others who are also depressed and unhappy for various reasons.
Many people have menial jobs they wish they could quit, and all manner of other problems and stresses. Most of them don't want die. This is because their head is a different place.
Clinical depression, social anxiety, a crappy attitude--lots of factors entirely inside someone's head can decide whether or not person A experiences the same level of happiness as person B, even if all factors outside of their head (their 'life') are identical.
Attempts to correct the problems outside of your head without correcting the ones inside of it tend to be doomed to failure. Attempts to correct no problems at all most certainly end in failure.
Incorrect. This thread is absolutely, positively 100% about you. Life most definitely is not the same experience for everyone.
This thread is about your depression and unhappiness. It's about what's in your head.
You carry your head wherever you go, and along with it all of your head problems.
It resonates with others who are also depressed and unhappy for various reasons.
Many people have menial jobs they wish they could quit, and all manner of other problems and stresses. Most of them don't want die. This is because their head is a different place.
Clinical depression, social anxiety, a crappy attitude--lots of factors entirely inside someone's head can decide whether or not person A experiences the same level of happiness as person B, even if all factors outside of their head (their 'life') are identical.
Attempts to correct the problems outside of your head without correcting the ones inside of it tend to be doomed to failure. Attempts to correct no problems at all most certainly end in failure.
Opaline
1
^Excellent advice!
Incorrect. This thread is absolutely, positively 100% about you. Life most definitely is not the same experience for everyone.
This thread is about your depression and unhappiness. It's about what's in your head.
You carry your head wherever you go, and along with it all of your head problems.
It resonates with others who are also depressed and unhappy for various reasons.
Many people have menial jobs they wish they could quit, and all manner of other problems and stresses. Most of them don't want die. This is because their head is a different place.
Clinical depression, social anxiety, a crappy attitude--lots of factors entirely inside someone's head can decide whether or not person A experiences the same level of happiness as person B, even if all factors outside of their head (their 'life') are identical.
Attempts to correct the problems outside of your head without correcting the ones inside of it tend to be doomed to failure. Attempts to correct no problems at all most certainly end in failure.
Perfect response.
Same here. I have learnt not to expect too much out of life. Being greedy/too ambitious only makes one more miserable, because many things in life such as whether you become millionaire is determined mainly by luck. I want to live a simple life, nothing too complicated.
S_Spartan
Well-known member
It scares me too. And the other thing that scares me is that I think that other people can detect it so they see me as some egoless being who will just give of myself without limits. So I am getting more bitter and defensive lately and find people wanting more and more for free.
I agree. You really can't live in this culture without an ego and a finely groomed one at that. No ego=no identity.
S_Spartan
Well-known member
Right, luck rules the world. Too bad we aren't taught that though. Instead I was given "The Karate Kid" syndrome which states that if you are disciplined and work hard all good things WILL happen for you. Not true!!! And when it doesn't happen THEY will say "well, you didn't work hard enough" or "you didn't work at the right thing." It ALWAYS comes down to YOU and I call BS! The fact that we exist at all has to do with completely with external forces but once I am born now my existence is all my doing? I think not. What about people who are killed in natural disasters? They willed that on themselves by not working hard enough? If we are responsible for the creation of our own good luck then are we also responsible for our own bad luck? If so, what were the victims doing wrong the morning of 9/11/2001?
skins
1
exactly, nothing irks me more then the saying "life is what you make it" which is constantly drilled into us when we are young.
Yeh, life is what you make it if you happen to have the ideal biological makeup to flourish in our dog eat dog world....a more apt saying would be "life can suck, do the best with what you are given, but there is no gurantees."
Bronson99
Well-known member
You don't have to be smart, socially skilled, or attractive to get anywhere, though. As long as you work hard enough, your dreams will come true.. okay? End of story.
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