Why do people like life so much?

[MikeyC]

Right, luck rules the world. Too bad we aren't taught that though. Instead I was given "The Karate Kid" syndrome which states that if you are disciplined and work hard all good things WILL happen for you. Not true!!! And when it doesn't happen THEY will say "well, you didn't work hard enough" or "you didn't work at the right thing." It ALWAYS comes down to YOU and I call BS! The fact that we exist at all has to do with completely with external forces but once I am born now my existence is all my doing? I think not. What about people who are killed in natural disasters? They willed that on themselves by not working hard enough? If we are responsible for the creation of our own good luck then are we also responsible for our own bad luck? If so, what were the victims doing wrong the morning of 9/11/2001?

This is getting a little bit off-topic, but I wanted to point out that I think you're essentially correct in that life is not about guarantees or if you do thing A you'll get reward B. Bad things happen to good people; good things happen to bad people. Is that discipline? Probably not. It's just luck and how things have played out. (I don't believe in fate.)

I will say that if you do want something, you have to put some work into it. If you want to go out and buy a burrito, then you have to put some effort in yourself. What are the chances of you getting one sitting at home watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond in your underpants? Close to 0%, right? If you put pants on and leave the house to go to Taco Bell, the chances are higher because you're working on it.

I realise that's a lame example, but I hope I'm getting my point across. I do agree with you that life is a lot about luck and right-place-right-time kind of thing, but that luck can increase if you're taking steps to put your dreams into fruition, whatever they may be.

 

[Kiwong]

I was listening to a radio show on the ABC today, and it seemed to be relevant to this thread. He talked about how many people are dissatisfied with life because they are chasing the impossible expectations of the Utopia complex. He suggest that the goal of life might be better searching for meaning rather than self esteem. Some children have been taught to expect perfection.

Literary Lunch with Hugh Mackay - Nightlife - (ABC)

The Good Life by Hugh Mackay – Extract | Pan Macmillan Australia Extracts and Reviews

 

[skins]

This is getting a little bit off-topic, but I wanted to point out that I think you're essentially correct in that life is not about guarantees or if you do thing A you'll get reward B. Bad things happen to good people; good things happen to bad people. Is that discipline? Probably not. It's just luck and how things have played out. (I don't believe in fate.)

I will say that if you do want something, you have to put some work into it. If you want to go out and buy a burrito, then you have to put some effort in yourself. What are the chances of you getting one sitting at home watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond in your underpants? Close to 0%, right? If you put pants on and leave the house to go to Taco Bell, the chances are higher because you're working on it.

I realise that's a lame example, but I hope I'm getting my point across. I do agree with you that life is a lot about luck and right-place-right-time kind of thing, but that luck can increase if you're taking steps to put your dreams into fruition, whatever they may be.

Ok but if I go into taco bell with my pants off, then what are my chances of still getting a buritto?

 

[MikeyC]

Ok but if I go into taco bell with my pants off, then what are my chances of still getting a buritto?

Hmm, I guess it depends on if the girl (or guy) serving you is attracted to you.

 

[Kiwong]

I felt a lot like some of the posters on this thread in my twenties and thirties. And I think a lot of it had to do with romantic issues, of the unrequited variety. It made me so miserable.

 

[skins]

Hmm, I guess it depends on if the girl (or guy) serving you is attracted to you.

hmmm I guess there is only one way to find out:thinking: pitty there is no taco bells here:idontknow:

 

[MikeyC]

hmmm I guess there is only one way to find out:thinking: pitty there is no taco bells here:idontknow:

Try it with a Red Rooster - I'm sure the reactions will be the same. :bigsmile:

 

[skins]

Try it with a Red Rooster - I'm sure the reactions will be the same. :bigsmile:

The girls at the local red rooster are very cute and I couldn't handle the rejection and/or a life time ban from their fine establishment. Is that an excuse? well yes it is:bigsmile:

 

[BlueDays]

Ok but if I go into taco bell with my pants off, then what are my chances of still getting a buritto?

:thinking:

Try it with a Red Rooster - I'm sure the reactions will be the same. :bigsmile:

:bigsmile::thumbup:

 

[Bronson99]

Life is determined by genetic excellency only. You could have the most supportive environment in the world, but it won't matter much if you don't innately possess the right kind of intellect and/or social flexibility. If you don't have either trait, you are essentially screwed (I think this is what the OP is getting at, if I'm not mistaken.) I would say it is unlikely that hard work in any direction will be able to compensate for those twin deficiencies, although I'm also aware that's a pessimistic statement... (well, I'm not in a great mood anyway... ask me about this on a better day, I'll give you a different opinion.. maybe)

Now for a "wouldn't it be nice" statement: Wouldn't it be nice if there was some other path to success available to those of us who aren't bound for higher education, nor for a social life? Wouldn't it be nice if those of us unlucky enough to have no obvious calling in life could be appreciated somehow? Could this ever happen... and what would it take for it to happen? I should think at some point, the "loser" must have his day in the sun... but when? I'm tired of waiting.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Right, luck rules the world. Too bad we aren't taught that though. Instead I was given "The Karate Kid" syndrome which states that if you are disciplined and work hard all good things WILL happen for you. Not true!!! And when it doesn't happen THEY will say "well, you didn't work hard enough" or "you didn't work at the right thing." It ALWAYS comes down to YOU and I call BS! The fact that we exist at all has to do with completely with external forces but once I am born now my existence is all my doing? I think not. What about people who are killed in natural disasters? They willed that on themselves by not working hard enough? If we are responsible for the creation of our own good luck then are we also responsible for our own bad luck? If so, what were the victims doing wrong the morning of 9/11/2001?

Binary thinking.

I'm not sure where you heard that your life is 100% determined by your own actions, but that would obviously be a false statement.

The fact that it is a false statement does not make the polar opposite true though--which seems to be what you're implying.

Luck being 100% of life is equally wrong.

Few things in life are so simple. Life itself is definitely not.

Life is determined by genetic excellency only.

Well that's interesting. It's interesting because every geneticist I've ever known or heard of would disagree with that. So would the textbooks.

So much passion for arguing that it's all out of your control.

On the plus side, you get to blame the universe/fate/God whatever for all of your problems. Also on the plus side you don't have to put any effort into changing anything or trying to improve your life. Effort is hard. You don't have to try. You don't have to deal with the pain of failure that trying inevitably results in.

On the minus side, you're certain to remain miserable and nothing in your life will improve.

 

[jaim38]

Now for a "wouldn't it be nice" statement: Wouldn't it be nice if there was some other path to success available to those of us who aren't bound for higher education, nor for a social life? Wouldn't it be nice if those of us unlucky enough to have no obvious calling in life could be appreciated somehow? Could this ever happen... and what would it take for it to happen? I should think at some point, the "loser" must have his day in the sun... but when? I'm tired of waiting.

I'm sure if you're a genius or super rich, you could be successful no matter how antisocial you are. Dr. House comes to mind - he's like the most antisocial doctor ever, but because he's so talented people around have to put up with him. Any other average doctor would've been fired asap for rude, jack*ss behavior. Real life examples like Linus Torvalds come to mind.

I know successful people who don't have college degrees, and I attribute their success to having an active social life - great for networking and finding jobs. People without higher ed must rely on a large social network to succeed. People without a significant social network rely on higher ed to get a job.

 

[Odo]

I'm sure if you're a genius or super rich, you could be successful no matter how antisocial you are. Dr. House comes to mind - he's like the most antisocial doctor ever, but because he's so talented people around have to put up with him. Any other average doctor would've been fired asap for rude, jack*ss behavior. Real life examples like Linus Torvalds come to mind.

I know successful people who don't have college degrees, and I attribute their success to having an active social life - great for networking and finding jobs. People without higher ed must rely on a large social network to succeed. People without a significant social network rely on higher ed to get a job.

Dr. House is cocky though... and he's definitely extroverted. People will forgive you for being a raging **** if you're super talented. Plus, he has heaps of friends and fits in/fulfills a role.

If someone is going to get fired at work, it's not going to be the star of the show. In fact, you can probably be totally incompetent and it won't matter so long as you fit in and people like you.

 

[Livemylife]

I'm sure if you're a genius or super rich, you could be successful no matter how antisocial you are. Dr. House comes to mind - he's like the most antisocial doctor ever, but because he's so talented people around have to put up with him. Any other average doctor would've been fired asap for rude, jack*ss behavior. Real life examples like Linus Torvalds come to mind.

I know successful people who don't have college degrees, and I attribute their success to having an active social life - great for networking and finding jobs. People without higher ed must rely on a large social network to succeed. People without a significant social network rely on higher ed to get a job.

I'll have to disagree. THe most important and shocking thing I've learned in college is that talent and brains aren't enough. At least not in American society. You'll struggle to get into medical school if you only have a 3.9 GPA and ace the MCAT. They want letters of recommendations. That means you need to get acquainted with your professors and make them like you. Some professors won't write a rec letter just because you got an A in their class. Med schools require interviews. That means you must know the social etiquette of interviews and the right things to say. I've never watched House, but I think people put up with him because he is now the boss and can be a jackass. It's only on TV I see these antisocial people get away with everything. In the real world, if people don't like you--or get the feeling you don't like them--they will not care how smart you are.

 

[jaim38]

I'll have to disagree. THe most important and shocking thing I've learned in college is that talent and brains aren't enough. At least not in American society. You'll struggle to get into medical school if you only have a 3.9 GPA and ace the MCAT. They want letters of recommendations. That means you need to get acquainted with your professors and make them like you. Some professors won't write a rec letter just because you got an A in their class. Med schools require interviews. That means you must know the social etiquette of interviews and the right things to say. I've never watched House, but I think people put up with him because he is now the boss and can be a jackass. It's only on TV I see these antisocial people get away with everything. In the real world, if people don't like you--or get the feeling you don't like them--they will not care how smart you are.

I'm not talking about the average straight A, 4.0 GPA talent that you see in almost every high school or college. I'm referring to the rare, genius talent that some people have, whether it's in IT, medicine, sports, etc.

But, I think you're onto something. Life feels like a popularity contest. You have to sell yourself to other people in order to get what you want. I find it hypocritical that some people like to call others "brownosers" for *****ing up to other people. I think everybody's doing it to some extent, whether it's to please their boss, parents, professor, or whoever.

 

[Rumplestiltskin]

Incorrect. This thread is absolutely, positively 100% about you. Life most definitely is not the same experience for everyone.

This thread is about your depression and unhappiness. It's about what's in your head.

You carry your head wherever you go, and along with it all of your head problems.

It resonates with others who are also depressed and unhappy for various reasons.

Many people have menial jobs they wish they could quit, and all manner of other problems and stresses. Most of them don't want die. This is because their head is a different place.

Clinical depression, social anxiety, a crappy attitude--lots of factors entirely inside someone's head can decide whether or not person A experiences the same level of happiness as person B, even if all factors outside of their head (their 'life') are identical.

Attempts to correct the problems outside of your head without correcting the ones inside of it tend to be doomed to failure. Attempts to correct no problems at all most certainly end in failure.

No, this isn't a thread about me; this is a thread about how they see life. Of course their way of seeing life differs a lot from mine, so you may argue that it's my way of seeing it that caused this thread to exist in the first place. That doesn't make my question any less valid, though.

As depicted on my previous post, my life sucks. It's insanely monotonous and has no room for any emotion other than anxiety. I've already mentioned the possibility that my perpetual state of nervousness is the only cause for me not being able to appreciate how beautiful life actually is. That said, I think there's more to it than that.

Only a very small percentage of the population ends up working in some job related to one of their hobbies, a job they truly and actually enjoy. The rest dislike their jobs. They dislike an activity that will take up most of the time in their lives, which will in turn be inevitably mediocre. However, they just don't seem to care. How they don't, I haven't got the slightest idea.

Is it simply the fact that they aren't always anxious? Is it they have learned to be conformists? Is it their brains can't even consider the possibility of life not being worth it? Is it they have so much fun during their leisure time that they don't mind having to work during the week? Is it they value social relationships much more than their hobbies, so they never feel like they're missing out on a lot of things? Is it they wouldn't know what to do with their time if they didn't have to go to work?

I don't know what is, but it just makes no sense. You can't not like your job and at the same time state that you love life. It sounds like a clear contradiction to me, and that's what this thread is/was about.

Binary thinking.

I'm not sure where you heard that your life is 100% determined by your own actions, but that would obviously be a false statement.

The fact that it is a false statement does not make the polar opposite true though--which seems to be what you're implying.

Luck being 100% of life is equally wrong.

Few things in life are so simple. Life itself is definitely not.


Well that's interesting. It's interesting because every geneticist I've ever known or heard of would disagree with that. So would the textbooks.

So much passion for arguing that it's all out of your control.

On the plus side, you get to blame the universe/fate/God whatever for all of your problems. Also on the plus side you don't have to put any effort into changing anything or trying to improve your life. Effort is hard. You don't have to try. You don't have to deal with the pain of failure that trying inevitably results in.

On the minus side, you're certain to remain miserable and nothing in your life will improve.

If everyone's happiness depended purely on effort, why would anyone choose to be miserable for years? Sounds like extremely poor decision-making to me.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

No, this isn't a thread about me; this is a thread about how they see life. Of course their way of seeing life differs a lot from mine, so you may argue that it's my way of seeing it that caused this thread to exist in the first place. That doesn't make my question any less valid, though.

Other people enjoy their lives because they aren't you. They aren't living in your head. You don't understand because you aren't happy yourself. So yes, it's about you. It's a simple matter, really.

If everyone's happiness depended purely on effort, why would anyone choose to be miserable for years? Sounds like extremely poor decision-making to me.

I stated quite clearly that it did not depend purely on effort. Read it again.

Blergh. I give up.

 

[Kiwong]

Waiting will not get you anywhere, you're no more entitled to the things you desire in this life than anyone else. People with disabilities achieve, those with illness make a difference, clearly inherited and of genetic origin. Of course many fail, and at least they get the satisfaction of having tried.

This seems to be a thread about those who are depressed, who expect a life of status, and are disappointed that they can't achieve that Utopian ideal, that their parents and peers pressure them to aspire to, and are disillusioned by that.

 

[S_Spartan]

I will say that if you do want something, you have to put some work into it. If you want to go out and buy a burrito, then you have to put some effort in yourself. What are the chances of you getting one sitting at home watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond in your underpants? Close to 0%, right? If you put pants on and leave the house to go to Taco Bell, the chances are higher because you're working on it.

I realise that's a lame example, but I hope I'm getting my point across. I do agree with you that life is a lot about luck and right-place-right-time kind of thing, but that luck can increase if you're taking steps to put your dreams into fruition, whatever they may be.

I do agree that success requires work and action. However, I do suppose that for some people buying a burrito would require some luck. Would they have the money that day or a way to get there? Plus they may be disabled and can only dream of walking into a place and buying a burrito.
Also, the path to buying a burrito is clear. We know the process well and it's pretty simple. The path to success(as defined by western society) is murky, extremely complicated. A lot of it is dependent on vague social interactions and timing.
I have a friend who is extremely successful and he once explained to me the social protocols in the higher levels of the corporate world. Basically a bunch of people playing social mind games.

 

[S_Spartan]

Binary thinking.

I'm not sure where you heard that your life is 100% determined by your own actions, but that would obviously be a false statement.

The fact that it is a false statement does not make the polar opposite true though--which seems to be what you're implying.

I am NOT implying that. I put it at 80/20. 80% luck and 20% action. The fact that you exist had nothing to do with your own actions so right off the bat we see that it is by luck that we are here at all.