Help! Hocd or actually gay???

Im a 16 year old girl and for about a year now I've been wondering what my sexual orientation is. Up until that point I had just always assumed I was straight and in Primary School especially (until I was 11) I fancied sooo many boys - that can't change surely can it??
During the first and secon years of high school I also had many crushes, however when I was probably about 13 I remember we have just done RE and were learning about homosexuality and I can remember being in the toilets praying for my orientation to change.
Anyway last year I really fancied my best guy friend and we went out and everything was good. But I did find it weird kissing him and that and teh thought of going any further made me really nervous e.t.c. Anyway we were all at my house one night and the question came up "how far would you go with a member of the same sex?" Everyone else (including me) said "get off" but my boyfriend said he's go "all the way" at first I thought he was joking, turned out he wasn't, I dumped him and now he's bi.
Im just so worried because I don't think I am a lesbian so why is my head telling me I am??
I don't even feel comfotable watching adverts such as the Venus razor one in case I get aroused by the women on it. I lie in bed at night and just try to imagine myself having sex with a man or woman (I don't mast) and sometimes I seem to get aroused by both or sometimes its just the woman which makes me panic even more.
I google "hot men" and look at their pictures but I rarely get any kind of reaction from it :/
Do you think this is hocd??? or not???
I used to want to get married and had my life planned out i.e. was gonna get married by 24, then have kids e.t.c but now when I look into my future I don't se that and it makes me really sad :/
Please help me try to figure out who I am x

You will know what you feel for guys/girls, don't worry. You don't have to think about it, you'll feel it.

Hmm.. I can see how having a possibly-bi boyfriend might have influenced you too..

Some people say how everyone might go through a phase where they are attracted to the same sex.. And some people think everyone is naturally bi - or at least capable to be.. There are many different theories and thoughts..
In ancient - was it Rome or Greece? - it was 'natural' for young boys to have older 'mentors' and homosexuality was quite 'normal', if I remember it right from history lessons and such..

A friend of mine had a bi boyfriend for a long time, and she said many young boys go through this phase..
I think many young people are also confused about their orientation, yup..
Our society is quite 'oversexualized' sometimes, so this can make people confused.. All the ads etc...

If you seem to be attracted to both men and women, you might be bi or straight (and just confused with the ads etc) You are probably not just 'gay' or lesbian.. It's easier in our society to be straight, so you might try that first (find a non-bi boyfriend? although some guys are more talk than anything else, just talk or fantasies doesn't really make someone 'bi' or 'gay')

Even if you are bi, there are many possibilities.. you can just be in a relationship or marriage with a man, and it may be just a secret fantasy life.. Some guys even like it if their wife or gf is bi, or at least they think they like it-? (or have seen too many x-rated movies?) I think there was rumor that Angelina Joli is bi too, and she has a bunch of kids and a man-??

I don't think it matters what you think about your sexuality. Hell sometimes I wonder if I could get it on with a man, but then I wouldn't consider getting into a relationship with a man. Some people have gotten married and had kids and then discovered they are attracted to the same sex. It is okay not to know, and when the right person comes along, you will know which way you steer. Until then, just live your life and try to find a way of accepting not knowing.

I remember having similar thoughts at your age. I wasn't gay, but the idea of being gay was nerve-racking because it went against the vision I had of my life, my sexuality, etc.... you may be in a similar boat as your mentioned you had your life w/ kids all planned out... then again, you prayed for your orientation to change?!... so, I don't know.

You may very well be bi as Feathers mentioned. Human sexuality isn't always a rigid line, where your either straight or gay. However, as cliched and stupid as it sounds, I think you need to "find yourself" and actually figure out if your gay, straight, or somewhere in between. Thoughts, ads, etc. about anything sexual in nature can arouse you, especially if your libido is high.

You mentioned you don't masturbate, why not? If all your doing is looking at ads and thinking about laying down next to beautiful people, you have a very sugar-coated vision of sexuality. Think about who you actually want inside of you, who you want kissing you, who do you want to be naked with, who you want giving you orgasms, etc.

... and no matter what you discover, be willing to embrace it and be happy with it... gay, straight, bi-, whatever, it's all good

I have the hardest times with women. Since I was pressure into sex at a very young age with a guy and it hit home with me when I was first hitting high school. I've never had a girl friend, I've only ever had done anything sexual to a guy, I must be gay. It consumed my mind for years, and even now, there are still homosexual thoughts. Let alone, I used to get made fun of for years and was considered gay in my junior high years.

On the contrary whenever I go deep inside myself I can never see myself with a guy or have this same attraction I have to women as if it was with a guy. Could never have the same feelings I would ever have. I used to force myself to look at female porn for years to try and prove to myself if I was gay or not and that alone became a problem for my OCD. There has been times (merely 5% of the total porn I've looked at) that has been homosexual and likewise, that was all due to hormones and depression. Nearly 70% of both sexes have homosexual tendencies or thoughts, no matter how many of them actually declare they have never had such thoughts, it is just hormones, and us intelligent ones with OCD just experience it worse.

I've always been attracted to women and adore the woman's mind and body. I absolutely love the woman's body and it ****s up my OCD plenty. There has been times that I thought I was actually a chick in a males body, heck, and even a lesbian. I really hate discussing these things, they effect me so much. ****ing hate myself, my sex drive, and OCD. ****, plus there are people who I know, know me and probably going to read this. ****.

Fact of the matter is, if you truely have OCD then this is normal. Don't dwell on it and let it eat you up inside. It is just normal thoughts that everyone goes through. Take a lesson now before it ****s you in the ass later on.

My dear girl, there is nothing to worry about. If you were a lesbian, you would know it, and you would accept it. Since you worry so much over it, that would mean you are not. Your mind will guide you through your decisions. You do not need to force yourself to try and be straight or whatnot. Simply do what makes you feel comfortable and remain calm about the issue.

Silvox Black said:

My dear girl, there is nothing to worry about. If you were a lesbian, you would know it, and you would accept it. Since you worry so much over it, that would mean you are not. Your mind will guide you through your decisions. You do not need to force yourself to try and be straight or whatnot. Simply do what makes you feel comfortable and remain calm about the issue.

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THIS.

+rep. This is something I'm trying to say to someone who takes testosterone pills because she thinks she is a man. Yet she doesn't accept who she is and takes foreign hormones to accomplish something she isn't.

I understand that sexuality occurs on a spectrum, there is no gay or straight, just different points on the spectrum over our lifetimes

I think you'll figure it out. I think you're asking yourself the right kinds of questions. And if you are gay or bi, there's nothing wrong with that.

No one here is an expert. People here will probably complicate it/confuse you more by throwing out their theories. Give it more time, and maybe go see an OCD specialist.

Brooklynn said:

go make out/have sex with a guy or girl (whichever you prefer) and see which gender turns you on the most. That's the only surefire way to know.

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Thats bad advice, especially to a 16 year old girl.

rodinski said:

THIS.

+rep. This is something I'm trying to say to someone who takes testosterone pills because she thinks she is a man. Yet she doesn't accept who she is and takes foreign hormones to accomplish something she isn't.

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Ohh, I really wish people would just accept themselves and not try to be someone they're not.. Sometimes it can be difficult though.. I knew a very okay man who wanted to be (a very ugly) woman!! yeah.. Or maybe I feel sorry for them.. I wonder what that person thinks about homosexual people or was she raised in a very religious manner or something? Also, is she doing any counselling/therapy..? (I think it's a requirement to do it first, before getting permission for operation or such?)
I don't think it's bad as such (and for example loved the film Crying Game or Priscilla Queen of Desert - these are mostly about just dressing differently though, hm). I really wish some people could appreciate themselves more!! (and avoid sometimes dangerous operations that might cause health risks..)

I read a lot of people who might go for sex changes may be really homosexual but afraid to admit it, in a society that is sometimes insensitive or antagonistic, that's not so difficult to understand..

And as for the OP - yeah, most people who obsess about it may just have OCD - there are articles and helpful links and books... Also, some organizations may give counselling to people who might be gay, not sure if they're completely unbiased though?
Some possibly helpful stuff here: Articles by WSPS Practitioners eg How Do I Know I'm Not Gay?
(also maybe look at religious OCD if it could be part of it? If you were raised in a religious way, like I was? It's not easy sometimes, yeah..)

If you are worried about it, then you aren't, that simple

PunkRotten said:

Thats bad advice, especially to a 16 year old girl.

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16 is the legal age of consent in the state that I live in, and as the OP hasn't given us a location, then we have no idea on whether it is legal where she lives or not. I see nothing wrong with telling a 16 year old to gain some experience provided that they have given consent, and it is legal.

Respectfully I don't really agree with a lot of what I am reading.
I really think you shouldn't worry about it at all. Their is a lot of bull**** social stigma around homosexuality. If that is why you worry I am sorry. As far as I am concerned If you are feeling attracted to both...... good for you. This doubles your possibilities for happiness. You should just be true to yourself when you have feelings for either a boy or a girl. And however you feel don't worry about it, none of your choices in this matter are wrong.

Aussie_Lad said:

16 is the legal age of consent in the state that I live in, and as the OP hasn't given us a location, then we have no idea on whether it is legal where she lives or not. I see nothing wrong with telling a 16 year old to gain some experience provided that they have given consent, and it is legal.

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Does not matter the legality of it, its lousy advice and teaching irresponsibility. Its the problems that will ensure thats the bad part.

Telling someone to just go have sex, no matter the circumstance is very stupid. Even more stupid telling a kid thats 16 yrs old.

Sorry not really singling you out. Just saying that to anyone who thinks that way.

PunkRotten said:

No one here is an expert. People here will probably complicate it/confuse you more by throwing out their theories. Give it more time, and maybe go see an OCD specialist.

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PunkRotten said:

Thats bad advice, especially to a 16 year old girl.

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Get out. Don't be a hypocrite.