Antidepressants make dating difficult.

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this_portrait

Well-known member
Prozac, Zoloft, and probably every other antidepressant out there don't just lower the libido for me; they seem to make me lose physical interest in dating and relationships altogether.

It's like my mind is all geared up for going on dates and getting to know guys I'm interested in, but I just don't feel the desire to do the work that comes with maintaining interest and flirting. It's frustrating sometimes, especially when I miss out on a potential partner because of it. Then I get a tiny bit upset when that guy ends up with someone else, even though I have no reason to be.

On the flip side, being off the medication turns me into an emotional wreck when it comes to dating/relationships. I get jealous easier and get all emotional if I feel that someone I'm getting closer to is ignoring me. On medication, I'm a lot calmer and more rational.

And at the same time, too detached.

What should I do?
 
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this_portrait

Well-known member
^ Can't be, because the last time I experienced one, I had been off of Prozac for MONTHS. The emotional roller coaster(s) I experienced before then were before I even started taking medication.
 
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bsammy

Well-known member
yep, anti-depressants work in some ways but hurt you in others..when i was on paxil and similar ssris, i lost basically all sexual interest..when i did have interest my sexual enjoyment was almost non-existent..so i looked at it like 'damned if i do, damned if i dont'...
 
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Naesala

Active member
Hmm, right now my psychiatrist has put me on the horns of a similar dilemma. She wants me to switch back to other medication (paroxetine). which helps me with my sleeping and moodswings. The downside is that it will totally wreck my sexual drive.

I`ve been pondering this for a while now and I`m not willing to give the possibility of getting romantically involved. I think its a choice you have to make for yourself, what do you value more? Being in a relationship for me is a dream, but a dream harder to accomplish if I crush my lust then stabalize my emotions. Emotions can imo also be learned to control other ways, therapy for example. So I chose to stay on the same meds and am now doing a mindfullness class, after that I go to a social skill class. But thats my choice. I wish you a lot of good luck on yours and know that choices aren`t forever, you can always change things back.
 
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bsammy

Well-known member
^^thing is with me, without strong sexual urge i have no desire to even go up to and talk to women..

you are right though, its all up to the individual, i know a few people on anti-depressants that basically sleep their lives away..they go to work and when not working, they are sleeping but they seem drearily content with it..its due to the anti-depressants though, paxil had me wanting to sleep 24/7
 
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Naesala

Active member
Sadly that last part is more and more becoming my life. I'm not content in sleeping my life away, especially because most my wishes in life are in the area of family and other social activities.

On the other hand, I`m hoping when I get further in therapy and more skilled in social interaction, I will get less tired from it all. I want to find a balance. But its a problem without an easy solution for me.

I really can relate and sympathize with people going through the same thing, its really difficult. Therefore I`m so happy that any decision isn`t set in stone. I really have to actively tell myself that I can always change things around, to stay positive about the choices I make. Cause even the (for me personally) right choice, often feels like a crappy one.
 
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this_portrait

Well-known member
Odo said:
Is this something you need to take all the time?
Maybe you can ease up a bit?
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I don't really know how I can "ease up" on an antidepressant, considering I'm already on the average dose and Zoloft is one of those pills you can't just quit taking all of a sudden without developing withdrawal symptoms. Before I started on it, I had been off Prozac for about 8 or 9 months. Technically, I don't HAVE to take medication, but it sure makes a lot of things easier for me.

coyote said:
wellbutrin didn't seem to slow me down at all - have you tried that?
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Nope. I've only been on Prozac and Zoloft. Wellbutrin isn't an SSRI, right? Is it available as a generic?
 
this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
^ Interesting that it's also used as a smoking cessation treatment. I may bring it up the next time I see my psychiatrist, even though the idea of talking to him about my dating life (or lack thereof) makes me feel a little awkward.

I just wish that I could be both physically connected AND emotionally stable, instead of emotionally stable but physically disconnected, and vice versa. :/
 
Honda

Honda

Well-known member
Some meds did kill switch the living crap out of my sex related systems big time.. I chose to never touch meds ever again in my life since then.. I dont want to play that game of trail, error and withdrawal symptoms ever again.

While some people believe or find that it helps them, I personally don't like the nature of therapists testing meds on you to discover what works on your or what doesn't. Along with the horror stories of how these meds are sometimes pushed on people.

Now I decided to do it chemical free, CBT. I think maybe if I can learn to understand and tame my emotions instead of blocking them then I should manage to grow out of it.

But that's my take on it and that's my experience.. I recommend you do research and discuss matters further with your therapist.
 
Flanscho

Flanscho

Well-known member
First get better yourself. Once you can live your life without antidepressants and things improve, then think about dating.
 
this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
Flanscho said:
First get better yourself. Once you can live your life without antidepressants and things improve, then think about dating.
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But what if being on medication is the only way to keep from turning into a demon from hell? What if it really is just all brain chemistry?
 
oddOne

oddOne

Active member
this_portrait said:
But what if being on medication is the only way to keep from turning into a demon from hell? What if it really is just all brain chemistry?
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. . . as opposed to [also] being influenced by "supernatural" forces?

On that note, I was raised Christian . . . but am now an almost "antireligious" atheist. *sigh, part of me wants to "believe" the circular logic all religions hinge on . . . but they're just too fairy-tale-like to take seriously.

Anyway, I see nothing "wrong" with medication; it is simply a different way of reaching the same end (i.e. being productive, avoiding misery, etcetera).
 
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Dan2278

New member
Hi I used to have same problem. I take desvenlafaxine (Pristiq) but 1/2 dose. (50mg instead of 100mg) each night. Have been settled regarding emotions within my intimate relationship but my mental alertness and libido are fine. Unlike when I was on Effexor Mirtazepine or Aropax. ( took me a while to find the right one).

I also take Propranolol for physical symptoms of anxiety that I used to get. Trembling blushing chest tightness racing/pounding heart etc. All gone over night! Fantastic drug!!! I struggled with these symptoms from teenage years right up until I started it age 33 yo. Its made the biggest difference to my quality of life compared to other meds by far!! You don't build tolerance to it like you do with benzodiazepines and it has no affect at all on your mental alertness or libido! It also works straight away, not like with antidepressants where it takes weeks/months before you know if they are any good. It is normally used for blood pressure but its amazing for eliminating physical symptoms of anxiety. Have not had a single panic attack since I started it 3 years ago which is almost unbelievable because from age 13 to 33 I'd get them almost daily!
 
SilentBird

SilentBird

Well-known member
Mirtazapine worked like a sleeping pill for me. I doubt that it alleviated my dysthymia (mild, long-term depression.) I no longer take it.
 
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