neurotic-to-the-bone
Active member
Sorry if this has been a frequent topic already but I'm rather new here so I don't know and I'm curious..
I have other issues that have prevented me from work but I feel this is becoming a serious issue too. So I have had this work training at a rather large super market with a pretty big staff. I've been there a little over a month. The first day I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. It was a long time ago I was around so many new people. So I just froze up and couldn't focus at all at what I was suppose to do. I just couldn't make one move without thinking about how I was perceived. I felt sick and I just wanted to get out of there and run and hide. So yeah it was very obvious how nervous I was which made things so much more embarrassing. ::
Well, it got a little better after the first day thankfully but I still felt very anxious and tensed there and I just couldn't relax. Everybody have been really nice and welcoming and I hate that I can't respond to that. Instead I just feel like please don't talk to me. It's really nice when they are nice and say hello but at the same time I feel that I get focus on me and it just shines through how very awkward and uncomfortable I am. It's just that I look like a very "normal" person so to speak and I feel I can never live up to people expectations from when they first see me. In the beginning they can probably have a understanding that I'm nervous and reserved. But as the time go by and I don't open up as much as I should I just feel that I'm outed and I blew it. Point of no return.
So I felt I needed a break so I took last week off and visited a friend to relax and just get my mind off it and hopefully return in better shape. But today I was suppose to go back there and I just couldn't do it. The anxiety became too much. I know you're not suppose to do that. That you're suppose to face your fears but I feel it won't get me better when I have such bad experiences from it. Rather the opposite. So I guess I need to work on myself before I can take that kind of exposure. It's just more than I can handle right now.
But I have work training in two places though. This other place is a small company where there is just this other girl working and she's really easygoing as well so I feel much more relaxed there. It's like night and day the two places. I really like the work tasks much better there as well. So it's too bad she only has work for 2 days a week because I much rather be there. But I'm just glad that something works at least. Just to be a litte positive in this post.
I have other issues that have prevented me from work but I feel this is becoming a serious issue too. So I have had this work training at a rather large super market with a pretty big staff. I've been there a little over a month. The first day I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. It was a long time ago I was around so many new people. So I just froze up and couldn't focus at all at what I was suppose to do. I just couldn't make one move without thinking about how I was perceived. I felt sick and I just wanted to get out of there and run and hide. So yeah it was very obvious how nervous I was which made things so much more embarrassing. ::
Well, it got a little better after the first day thankfully but I still felt very anxious and tensed there and I just couldn't relax. Everybody have been really nice and welcoming and I hate that I can't respond to that. Instead I just feel like please don't talk to me. It's really nice when they are nice and say hello but at the same time I feel that I get focus on me and it just shines through how very awkward and uncomfortable I am. It's just that I look like a very "normal" person so to speak and I feel I can never live up to people expectations from when they first see me. In the beginning they can probably have a understanding that I'm nervous and reserved. But as the time go by and I don't open up as much as I should I just feel that I'm outed and I blew it. Point of no return.
So I felt I needed a break so I took last week off and visited a friend to relax and just get my mind off it and hopefully return in better shape. But today I was suppose to go back there and I just couldn't do it. The anxiety became too much. I know you're not suppose to do that. That you're suppose to face your fears but I feel it won't get me better when I have such bad experiences from it. Rather the opposite. So I guess I need to work on myself before I can take that kind of exposure. It's just more than I can handle right now.
But I have work training in two places though. This other place is a small company where there is just this other girl working and she's really easygoing as well so I feel much more relaxed there. It's like night and day the two places. I really like the work tasks much better there as well. So it's too bad she only has work for 2 days a week because I much rather be there. But I'm just glad that something works at least. Just to be a litte positive in this post.