anyone rich and still lonley?

MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
cosmosis said:
I actually wish I was poor. I liked my life better when I had something big to overcome. You probably think I'm stupid and if I should just give my money away. I wish it was that simple. Once you adapt to a certain way of life, its so so hard to go back. There's a reason why so many rich and famous people are miserable and can never go back. I think money is one of those things that its rewarding to strive for, but too much of it and its worse than having nothing in my opinion.
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Kind of like those who win big in lotteries blow the whole lot because they're not used to that much cash.

Having money to pay for things, but a little extra for luxuries, is probably a perfect amount.
 
1BlackSheep

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
TheTemp said:
It helps, retail therapy, vacations and all those perks. Makes you happier but doesn't help you connect with people, especially ones as fortunate. I have yet to find someone in my circles with SA, except a few who got ****ed up by drugs, like myself. So yes, still lonely but very comfortable and happy in a non-social sense.
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Yep, this kinda sums up how I feel too! ::eek::
 
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findingbeauty

Well-known member
cosmosis said:
It's funny because I see it the other way around. I have plenty of financial security and all I wish is for a more basic struggle again. Because I don't stress about money anymore, I stress about ridiculus little things all the time. I thought that when I finally had money and security I would feel free, but I feel like a prisoner more than ever. The difference is that in the past I had a struggle to survive and through it all I still managed to counter that with things I enjoy. I mean I would get through the hard day and let myself enjoy life at some point. Now that I don't struggle as much in the basic sense, I don't allow myself to enjoy anything. I just stress all day long about absolutely stupid things with no counter to it. I'm less free then ever.
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Wow, that's interesting. I guess people's reactions to money are very individual, and it's probably a good idea to stop looking for greener grass and learn to be happy and content at whatever place we hold in life. I still can't shake the idea that it would improve my life dramatically, and that "I" would not get caught up in high class living. I think that as long as I kept my wealth "hidden" and didn't mingle with the rich, I would stay the same. If I did begin to live and interact with the rich, I know my perspectives could definitely be influenced and I could get caught up in "things". THanks for chiming in, I really appreciate hearing your perspective, btw!
 
cosmosis

cosmosis

Well-known member
findingbeauty said:
Wow, that's interesting. I guess people's reactions to money are very individual, and it's probably a good idea to stop looking for greener grass and learn to be happy and content at whatever place we hold in life. I still can't shake the idea that it would improve my life dramatically, and that "I" would not get caught up in high class living. I think that as long as I kept my wealth "hidden" and didn't mingle with the rich, I would stay the same. If I did begin to live and interact with the rich, I know my perspectives could definitely be influenced and I could get caught up in "things". THanks for chiming in, I really appreciate hearing your perspective, btw!
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I think it might come down to how well you allow yourself to enjoy. With me, enjoyment or fun is secondary. I feel guilty enjoying myself if I haven't worked hard or accomplished something. But I didn't realize how bad it was until I didn't have to struggle as much. When I was in school I used to love the time between semesters or summer break. But that was because I knew I would have to work hard again soon and I was working towards something big. If I don't have a really strong struggle or something big I'm working to overcome, I will not feel good doing anything I like. I will just stress all day. But if you are more comfortable with enjoying life and having fun despite it all (like you would do well in retirement), then you would do better then me with money. I feel like my mom's side of the family which comes from poor eastern europe. I would rather keep things simple and work hard to survive then to live in high culture or spend time trying to do things I enjoy. But everyone is different :)
 
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findingbeauty

Well-known member
cosmosis said:
I think it might come down to how well you allow yourself to enjoy. With me, enjoyment or fun is secondary. I feel guilty enjoying myself if I haven't worked hard or accomplished something. But I didn't realize how bad it was until I didn't have to struggle as much. When I was in school I used to love the time between semesters or summer break. But that was because I knew I would have to work hard again soon and I was working towards something big. If I don't have a really strong struggle or something big I'm working to overcome, I will not feel good doing anything I like. I will just stress all day. But if you are more comfortable with enjoying life and having fun despite it all (like you would do well in retirement), then you would do better then me with money. I feel like my mom's side of the family which comes from poor eastern europe. I would rather keep things simple and work hard to survive then to live in high culture or spend time trying to do things I enjoy. But everyone is different :)
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I've been working very part-time for a while now and there are a few things that hold me back from enjoying the extra time I have - (1) concern about my financial future when I become a senior - I'm not saving for retirement, I'm only earning enough to pay my bills, and use social services for medication for anxiety/sleep disorders, (2) fear of other people's judgement that I'm not working/earning enough and for using social services.

I can reduce the stress of #2 by not telling people about my anxiety disorder and use of social services, and reducing my contact with people who wouldn't understand. Though can still be triggered just knowing the general attitude of society that is out there.

Either way, I still go in and out of paralysis/fear when I get triggered about those things and shame because of the general attitude in society. When I'm not in fear, and I've been doing pretty good lately, I enjoy being productive with DIY household activities which save me money, organizing, cooking and preparing healthy meals which I would have less time to do if I were working mad hours, reading and learning about political, business, spiritual, and health-related topics and sharing what I learn with others. I enjoy being a bit of an activist for the things I believe strongly. So, with all those things above, I feel content and happy with how I spend my time. I would have less guilt if I knew I wasn't setting myself up for a challenging elder life, and if I could spend and give more generously.

Busyness combined with too much time commitment, is a major trigger of my anxiety, so while technically I could manage to work full-time, I feel so much relief from crippling anxiety (which itself becomes like a full-time job when working full-time), that I really don't ever want to go back. I think with more money, I would do more of what I am doing now and would probably get way more involved in the community and volunteer work if I had financial security because of the reduced shame and fear about my financial state and what I SHOULD be doing.

Hey, cosmosis, since you seem to be in good shape financially but struggling with your time, and I'm struggling with finances and have extra time - in exchange for donations, I would be happy to provide you daily/weekly skype /phone/chat/email support for motivation and encouragement, and brainstorm with you to help figure out what to do with your time and how to feel good about it. I love to help people who struggle with similar problems! Of course I could chat with you on a less regular basis for free, too :) Feel free to PM me!
 
Flanscho

Flanscho

Well-known member
Money is the more important the less you have. So it's natural, that those who have a lot of it, ain't having the feeling of it being as important, as those people, who have to worry constantly on how to pay the rent or the train ticket to a new job application.
 
cosmosis

cosmosis

Well-known member
Lea said:
I can help you out in this, if you like ;).
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Nice try. Life is never that simple. If I ever did something like that, I would likely feel stupid and guilty the rest of my life. Life challenges have to be genuine. You can't pretend and make your own challenges. For example, if you worked really hard to buy yourself a car and enjoyed the challenge, you can't simply give the car away and say....I want to try that again. You adapt to that car and its virtually impossible to let it go. And if you are stupid enough to give it away, how much motivation do you think you would have the second time around knowing that you willingly gave it away the first time?
 
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Amitush123

Well-known member
cosmosis said:
Nice try. Life is never that simple. If I ever did something like that, I would likely feel stupid and guilty the rest of my life. Life challenges have to come externally. You can't pretend and make your own challenges. For example, if you worked really hard to buy yourself a car and enjoyed the challenge, you can't simply give the car away and say....I want to try that again. You adapt to that car and its virtually impossible to let it go. And if you are stupid enough to give it away, how much motivation do you think you would have the second time around knowing that you willingly gave it away the first time?
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Very true, the money itself has little importance; the effort wasted to gain that money - very valuable
 
louiselouise

louiselouise

Member
With money you have more choice. You can go attend self esteem classes, self confidence classes and meet more people, you can also go for hypnosis or hypnotherapy.
 
coldhart

coldhart

Member
money cant buy true happiness :) material things are just superficial

there are some rich people taking away their own life, because they are afraid that their wealth will be taken away from them, :thinking:
 
Flanscho

Flanscho

Well-known member
I got no debts but I'm definately not rich.

Sure, money would solve some problems. It would buy me the time to do what I want to.
 
R

redishtomota

New member
I'm not rich , but not poor
I find sometime that a lot of my friend can't keep up with my life style.

Here the solution help each other to have more money so you all have fun.
Motivate other to have a better paycheck .
That way you will be less lonely if they all make more money and can keep up your life style

Help your Mom and Dad if you make that much more.

The one thing of having money is that you don't have to worry about where your next meal will come from or paying the rent
 
sahxox

sahxox

Well-known member
Money buys objects, and I think that I'd be slightly happier driving around in a Veyron and travelling abroad whenever I felt like it. ;)
However to say it'd solve all problems is to be naïve. I have no doubt I'd still be troubled by some form of low self-esteem, despite being clearly 'richer' than everyone else.
 
S

scruffpot

Well-known member
I live very comfortably within my means. Material objects mean rather little to me, except my large growing collection of instruments. I have my own company that is slowly becoming successful, will it earn me a fortune? Maybe but, that's not the reason why my company exists and why I do what I do.
Am I lonely? no, I have friends plus I'm happy with just being me. Will that change maybe at some point no idea at all.. worry about that later....
money doesn't always buy happiness it can make life easier, money and depression can go hand in hand - But I'ld rather do a job that I love doing and pays little then hating everyday going into work and getting paid a lot.
 
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