Beauty!!Inner vs Outer
- Thread starter springk
- Start date
twiggle
Well-known member
This ^
Several of my major flames in the past became physically attractive to me only once they had become attractive on the interior.
Looks do play a part at some point though, there does need to be an element of physical attraction in there, but as long as its not the sole 'make or break' factor I don't see the problem.
KiaKaha
Banned
The thing with appearance though - is that before anyone knows anything about you, your appearance is the ONLY thing that you will be judged on. I actually think that most of the time, for interest to be piqued, not just necessarily romantically but also socially you have to look a 'certain' way for another person to identify with you.
Its all about first impressions. Your looks will be the ultimate factor on whether or not someone pursues any kind of social/romantic interaction with you - and it is fleeting, it happens fast that we don't realize it - milliseconds.
There is of course after your appearance has been judged, other factors come into play - like that whatchamacallit - the personality, and other such things.
Interestingly today my flatmate was talking to her friend about me - my flatmate was describing me as easy to get a long with and nice and her friend said in response "is he ugly? - what the hell? it would seem that the two are exclusive - which goes to show the importance of appearance. But I digress.
Its all about first impressions. Your looks will be the ultimate factor on whether or not someone pursues any kind of social/romantic interaction with you - and it is fleeting, it happens fast that we don't realize it - milliseconds.
There is of course after your appearance has been judged, other factors come into play - like that whatchamacallit - the personality, and other such things.
Interestingly today my flatmate was talking to her friend about me - my flatmate was describing me as easy to get a long with and nice and her friend said in response "is he ugly? - what the hell? it would seem that the two are exclusive - which goes to show the importance of appearance. But I digress.
springk
Well-known member
The "inner beauty is all that matters" saying is just an idealist way of thinking. Maybe deep down we try to convince ourselves that this statement is true, since we don't want to face the fact that we tend to be more shallow than we want to acknowledge. If we really placed no importance on the triviality of our appearance I don't think our language would have created the words "ugly" and "beautiful" to differentiate between the two.
Our appearance may prompt a particular response ie that beauty is more favourable to supposed ugliness, but it can never tell the whole story of a person. How people respond to us is based a lot on our appearance and i think we're kidding ourselves if we deny this. However in saying that we can never know what a person is truly like from just what we see on the outside. the more we get to know the person the more we get to see the real them.
so in short. both matter...
Yes i agree
both matters
springk
Well-known member
I dont consider myself beautiful and there are times when i dont want to have my pic taken or even be with others in a group pic. I know i will never look good and i hate it.
I know i m not a bad person and i should have more people around me ''friends'' but never in my life i have felt comfortable with a friend , not many people want me as friend. i was wondering if that was because i dont look good in their group or what?
I have heard people praising somebody's looks and leaving behind the'ugly'' person, that happen to include me.
Having said that its not that i think physical beauty is the most important thing but yes it helps a lot and make things easier, ''the first impression'' benefit.
after that your looks alone can not help you if you dont have inner beauty
I know i m not a bad person and i should have more people around me ''friends'' but never in my life i have felt comfortable with a friend , not many people want me as friend. i was wondering if that was because i dont look good in their group or what?
I have heard people praising somebody's looks and leaving behind the'ugly'' person, that happen to include me.
Having said that its not that i think physical beauty is the most important thing but yes it helps a lot and make things easier, ''the first impression'' benefit.
after that your looks alone can not help you if you dont have inner beauty
Lea
Banned
It is hard to say what makes a person attractive, as there are as many variables, as there are people. Also, what is attractive to one person, may not be to the other. With men, I either feel the attraction or not, or a lot/little (there is a scale like with most things) while they may or may not be "beautiful" in the classical sense. Also the personality comes to the mix, and everyone is so unique, a unique mix or looks and personality. It can hardly be categorized.. Sometimes a person doesn't seem blatantly attractive but you realize they are because of something in their personality. On the contrary, some men can be visually goodlooking, but their personality is too different from yours that you automatically consider them out of your league, or they even frighten you and you think they wouldn't like you. Or/and their personality may be crap. I think personality is very important, and that they are good people. It is a huge thing in fact, although noone is perfect and I can pardon a lot of mistakes, if they are not total arseholes.
Marc7
Well-known member
why do you feel unattractive?
MikeyC
Well-known member
Are you talking about belly buttons? Mine is an abyss filled with cobwebs and naval lint.
coyote
Well-known member
Are you talking about belly buttons? Mine is an abyss filled with cobwebs and naval lint.
belly buttons are sexy
you should clean it out every now and then, though
MikeyC
Well-known member
I was hoping to collect enough lint to make myself a sweater.
outer beauty well you have to find that person sexually attractive to some degree but yes a inner beauty holds the key
but sadly the media shows outer beauty as the only thing that matters and if you don't match the looks of a smile model no is going to love you so many stunning young girls that think there ugly same with blokes
but sadly the media shows outer beauty as the only thing that matters and if you don't match the looks of a smile model no is going to love you so many stunning young girls that think there ugly same with blokes
Hellhound
Super Moderator
I have none. Should I get a gun now?
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
I have an odd hatred towards this question because there is the threat of outer beauty actually being more important to the majority of the general population... And that's a scary thing. I'm betting on somebody falling for my inner beauty otherwise it's temporary and not real... and probably not all that easy.
What would you call body language, inner beauty, right? Body language, things like stance, how you speak, how you carry yourself, etc. I would dub that as inner beauty because it originates from the way you handle the world . Well I think that is all that beauty really depends on, personality and how you carry yourself through the world. Inner beauty is more important and I think that is proven in the fact that if you meet somebody who is ugly, but has a great personality, they're beautiful. If you meet somebody beautiful with an ugly personality, they become ugly. Universally agreed to
What would you call body language, inner beauty, right? Body language, things like stance, how you speak, how you carry yourself, etc. I would dub that as inner beauty because it originates from the way you handle the world . Well I think that is all that beauty really depends on, personality and how you carry yourself through the world. Inner beauty is more important and I think that is proven in the fact that if you meet somebody who is ugly, but has a great personality, they're beautiful. If you meet somebody beautiful with an ugly personality, they become ugly. Universally agreed to
Srijita52
Well-known member
Agreed completely but I also think outer beauty matters, atleast to a point.
^I agree. If outer beauty doesn't matter at all, then why do people still bother to put on makeup, do their hair, dress in fashion, and groom themselves?
What is inner beauty? I'm not sure. For some reason, I thought inner beauty consist of your thoughts and your personality because those things are internal. Body language is external. Having SA, I don't think body language reflects the real me because my body language becomes awkward in social situations. Also, some people with autism or asperger's have underdeveloped social skills and exhibit awkward body language. Does this mean they have no inner beauty?
What is inner beauty? I'm not sure. For some reason, I thought inner beauty consist of your thoughts and your personality because those things are internal. Body language is external. Having SA, I don't think body language reflects the real me because my body language becomes awkward in social situations. Also, some people with autism or asperger's have underdeveloped social skills and exhibit awkward body language. Does this mean they have no inner beauty?
miserablecow
Well-known member
I agree.
No matter how much people say it, its always looks then the inside etc.
From my own experience, people don't seem to ever get passed my shaved head and probably think I'm ugly because of it. They see hair as part of a female's beauty and not wanting to get to know me.
(note: I love my shaved head)
No matter how much people say it, its always looks then the inside etc.
From my own experience, people don't seem to ever get passed my shaved head and probably think I'm ugly because of it. They see hair as part of a female's beauty and not wanting to get to know me.
(note: I love my shaved head)