Can't get a girlfriend? Come to the dark side

[SickJoke]

all this proves i'm not pretending with S.A

sickjoke how many accomplishments have you acheive in regards to going against your S.A symtoms?

It's been a long painful road. It's been a series of accomplishments. I was at the point where, not committing suicide was an accomplishment. Getting out of bed was an accomplishment. Having a conversation with my family. Stepping outside the house. Contacting an old friend. Going to the gym, getting a job, talking to strangers, making new friends, approaching girls, and finally having some success with women. And I'm improving every day.

How's it going for you?

 

[newbie]

ohh massive props to ya!! good stuff mate

well seeing as i'm like seeing the world better again, becuase as i was in my earlier teenage years i can hardly remember, just dull, same day, working lots, hated school all that stuff but its like all those memories are in a cloud, not clear to see

i'm now well aware about my problem, and i hate it and CONSTANTLY for example when i see a girl i tell myself now, go now but that laziness is still their

i am however much more open to making new friends even tho its hard, i'm trying to work at keeping my old firends and that is turning out to be good and i'm hoping with them once they finish shcool we will all go out places and you know in groups everything is easier + fun but i know that it may not boost my self esteem, that part i am having to do myself and somehow i have to beat this laziness when seeing women, women is a big fear even tho i sound like a pussy! oh well

sorry, my thoughts are all not in order and clogged but u can see the rough sketch

 

[Argamemnon]

Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Social anxiety cuts off external reality. It puts us in the state of "inside our head": our body is present, but it's like an empty shell. Our mind is somewhere waaaay deep inside our head. Our senses get dull - it's hard to see because everything is out of focus. It's hard to hear because everything seems quiet, except our internal brain chatter.

Sometimes I still catch myself being "inside my head." I might hear someone speak to me, but it's too quiet to understand. After lots of practice, I'm now at the point where I can immediately recognize "Hey, I'm inside my head," and BAM I snap out of it and I'm back into reality.

It takes practice, focusing on the external world. Opening our eyes and ears and really paying attention. It's hard work when we're so used to being inside our heads, but it gets easier.

Have you had succes with women since you have overcome your problems?

 

[no1]

hey sickjoke, do these books really help with small talk and conversation? that's my biggest fault I guess.. aside from the "insomnia."

I get the tidea that these books already expect you to know how to make converstaion and small talk.

 

[SickJoke]

ohh massive props to ya!! good stuff mate

Thanks man

well seeing as i'm like seeing the world better again, becuase as i was in my earlier teenage years i can hardly remember, just dull, same day, working lots, hated school all that stuff but its like all those memories are in a cloud, not clear to see

So the cloud's starting to clear up now, that's awesome.

i'm now well aware about my problem, and i hate it and CONSTANTLY for example when i see a girl i tell myself now, go now but that laziness is still their

Is it laziness or anxiety? I still get a twinge of anxiety when I do approaches, but the 3 second rule takes care of that (one of Mystery's rules): As soon as I notice the girl, I have 3 seconds to approach. This prevents me from stalling and letting the anxiety get worse. So I see the girl, and I count in my head "one, two, three" and no matter what, by the time I get to 3, I'm talking to the girl. You have to train yourself to just say "**** it. If I get blown out, so be it."

i am however much more open to making new friends even tho its hard, i'm trying to work at keeping my old firends and that is turning out to be good and i'm hoping with them once they finish shcool we will all go out places and you know in groups everything is easier + fun but i know that it may not boost my self esteem, that part i am having to do myself and somehow i have to beat this laziness when seeing women, women is a big fear even tho i sound like a pussy! oh well

That's good man. Having at least 1 close friend has really helped me out. Before I did approaches, I used to hang out with my buddy for a while, to get into a good talkative state. Things like that really help.

sorry, my thoughts are all not in order and clogged but u can see the rough sketch

It's cool man you made perfect sense.

 

[SickJoke]

Have you had succes with women since you have overcome your problems?

Yeah man, this stuff works. I don't claim to be some amazing pickup artist, but I do approaches, and I've closed the deal

It's based on science. Anyone can apply it. Just like any other skill, the more you work at it, the better you get.

---

hey sickjoke, do these books really help with small talk and conversation? that's my biggest fault I guess.. aside from the "insomnia."

I get the tidea that these books already expect you to know how to make converstaion and small talk.

If this is something you know you want to do, I would say skip reading The Game (The Game is like an introduction), and buy the Venusian Arts DVD set, revelation:
http://www.varevelation.com/

That will teach you everything you need to know

 

[no1]

damn that's a hefty price. maybe I can just read the venusian arts handbook.

 

[seekeroftruth]

...

Ok, I don't want to demean my ability to learn but I have just been watching guys on youtube not just talking about this but demonstrating it with hidden cameras.

From all indications it seems that this boils down to being "on" at all times, being in control of the situation at every moment, and not allowing the victim/target/interest to lose attention or become distracted. I don't know about everyone on here but I know for many members it is about as far from who they are as some outer galaxy to earth. I will use myself as an example:

Even if I managed to successfully pull this off it is not the real me and my real personality would naturally leak out after the initial pick up losing all the allure of the reason why they agreed to meet at a later time to begin with. I'm not speaking against the techniques or myself but it does seem that this is much more geared towards people who have some sort of social inclination to begin with.

SickJoke, what would you suggest for someone who has no desire to be the social butterfly these techniques give the impression of to the person they are being used on?

To SickJoke too, do you know why they put a cock on the top of a barn?

 

[SickJoke]

From all indications it seems that this boils down to being "on" at all times, being in control of the situation at every moment, and not allowing the victim/target/interest to lose attention or become distracted.

That's true, you need to keep the girl interested.

I don't know about everyone on here but I know for many members it is about as far from who they are as some outer galaxy to earth. I will use myself as an example:

Yeah, being good with women might seem impossible to some guys - that's what these tools are for.

Even if I managed to successfully pull this off it is not the real me and my real personality would naturally leak out after the initial pick up losing all the allure of the reason why they agreed to meet at a later time to begin with.

This stuff teaches you to be comfortable with women so that you can convey your natural personality. There are training wheels at first, canned routines and such, but once you get comfortable you can make up your own material, and talk about the things that you want to talk about.

I'm not speaking against the techniques or myself but it does seem that this is much more geared towards people who have some sort of social inclination to begin with.

It's geared toward anyone who wants to improve their skills with women, even guys with no social skills whatsoever.

SickJoke, what would you suggest for someone who has no desire to be the social butterfly these techniques give the impression of to the person they are being used on?

To attract women you have to be social. There's no way around that fact. This can teach you how to get there.

To SickJoke too, do you know why they put a cock on the top of a barn?

Enlighten me

 

[Argamemnon]

How can you become super social when you are a born introvert? I know I can't become social. I don't even want it, besides the fact that I can't become someone else. I don't enjoy talking, period. I like quiet people like myself! Besides being an introvert, I'm a highly sensitive person: http://www.hsperson.com/

I'm not saying that we can't or shouldn't improve certain areas of our lives, but introverts can't become extroverts.

 

[SickJoke]

How can you become super social when you are a born introvert? There is no way in hell for me to become social. I don't even want it besides the fact that I can't be someone else. I don't like talking, period. I like quiet people like myself!

Mystery, the greatest pickup artist of all time, is an introvert

 

[SickJoke]

How can you become super social when you are a born introvert? I know I can't become social. I don't even want it, besides the fact that I can't become someone else. I don't enjoy talking, period. I like quiet people like myself! Besides being an introvert, I'm a highly sensitive person: The Highly Sensitive Person

I'm not saying that we can't or shouldn't improve certain areas of our lives, but to claim that everyone can turn into a loud extrovert is just not possible.

Introverts can be outgoing, and extroverts can be shy. Regardless of your personality type, social skills can be mastered.

 

[Argamemnon]

I just don't believe that people like my personality. The way I look, the way I talk, or rather don't talk.. lol.

 

[SickJoke]

I just don't believe that people like my personality. The way I look, the way I talk, or rather don't talk.. lol.

Yeah lots of people with SA feel the same way

 

[Argamemnon]

Yeah lots of people with SA feel the same way

But I usually notice that people feel uncomfortable around me. It's a fact, I'm not making this up.

 

[SickJoke]

But I usually notice that people feel uncomfortable around me. It's a fact, I'm not making this up.

If you're uncomfortable around them, chances are they're going to be uncomfortable around you

 

[Walk]

There's no way I'm spending what, 3000 bucks, on a bootcamp.

For the actual real life pick up training, I rather try to find friends who already know how to get girls and learn from them. I limit my money to ebooks and maybe a dvd set or two for the dating gurus.

Mystery and Tyler Durden might be good, and they probably do really good pick up at bars... but why don't they just record a bunch of their pick ups and sell that? I NEVER understood that. Well, I kinda do; they want to keep you at their heels. It's true man, I'm pretty sure they know guys are ****ing desperate to be social and be liked by girls, so they charge their stuff really high.

I've seen some of these cats lie about their lives. Not personally, mind you, but from their own little online forums. One guy sells you LOVE POTION! Fukcing love potion for hundreds of bucks. ANother one said, practically, that he had supernatural pick up powers (girls feel his "energy"). I can name them if you want.

Your advice is pretty good, but I have to warn against some of these guys' marketing tactics. I've been reading about them for about 4 years now. Some of it is UGLY.

 

[SickJoke]

Yeah bootcamp is like $2,000. Obviously that's not in everyone's budget, but plenty of guys are willing to pay that much in exchange for success with women.

For those of us who can't afford that much money, there are DVDs, e-books, and seminars.

Venusian Arts and Real Social Dynamics = LEGIT. Their stuff is strictly science, no bullshit.

 

[Walk]

I agree with most of your last post. I just feel it's a little difficult justifying those price tags, but that's just me. I gotta run though; gotta finish my homework. Nice talking to you.

 

[SickJoke]

I agree with most of your last post. I just feel it's a little difficult justifying those price tags, but that's just me. I gotta run though; gotta finish my homework. Nice talking to you.

It's like taking a private tennis lesson with the world's best tennis player. I imagine he'd charge a decent amount of cash