MikeyC
Well-known member
Hmm, true. I need to work out more for better balancing skills.Maybe your shoulder hurts because you've been balancing that fiddle on it for too long ::
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Quite depressed, coupled with feelings of self-loathing, disappointment. Just a general and severe lack of confidence, really... :sad:
I feel I don't give a great impression in most social situations, since ma social skills are crap. Which makes me feel really unlikeable. Then there's ma voice. And this gonnae sound odd but...
I feel deeply self-concious about ma voice. Maybe because most of the time, my thoughts don't come out the way they sounded in ma head. Especially when I try and be funny. It's doesnae help that I tend to have this dour, deadpan sounding voice when I'm really nervous. Which is most of the time. And then there's the fear that I'm gonnae be being thought an absolute idiot, or retarded. Now I know most of you here don't think that. But I feel that way, most o' the time, even though I shouldnae.
I don't know... maybe if I was more confident speakin' in general then I wouldnae be so reluctant tae be in social situations aw the time. :idontknow:
Eh, sorry for the negativity or the ramblin' on, I just need to vent.
I feel I don't give a great impression in most social situations, since ma social skills are crap. Which makes me feel really unlikeable. Then there's ma voice. And this gonnae sound odd but...
I feel deeply self-concious about ma voice. Maybe because most of the time, my thoughts don't come out the way they sounded in ma head. Especially when I try and be funny. It's doesnae help that I tend to have this dour, deadpan sounding voice when I'm really nervous. Which is most of the time. And then there's the fear that I'm gonnae be being thought an absolute idiot, or retarded. Now I know most of you here don't think that. But I feel that way, most o' the time, even though I shouldnae.
I don't know... maybe if I was more confident speakin' in general then I wouldnae be so reluctant tae be in social situations aw the time. :idontknow:
Eh, sorry for the negativity or the ramblin' on, I just need to vent.
JackOfSpades
Well-known member
It's the Mayan Flu.
MikeyC
Well-known member
Oh, no. No!
Phoenixx
Well-known member
^ Yikes! I'm quite sure I won't have it for two weeks. It makes me wonder though that the first time I got it when I had just a smidgen, my body just fought it off enough for me to plow through finals and whatnot, rather than getting rid of it completely. Now that it's been less than a week since finishing and all I've done is be on my feet, I guess my immune system swindled down enough for the flu to take over again. Awesome.
^ Thanks always, Srijita. I see you're not feeling so well yourself, but for entirely different reasons than mine. I hope you feel better soon too.
^ I wish you the best of luck, twiggle. The flu is never a fun trip. That's all I did today though was read. Actually finished my book haha.
When I wasn't reading I was sleeping. I laid in bed for 7 hours, too sore and sick to move. I've hardly eaten anything, but my mom did grocery shopping today and got me a few bottles of VitaminWater to keep me going. That has managed to be okay and not send me into a huge bout of nausea.
^ I honestly had this exact thought run through my head today. Weird.
Opaline
1
I'm really bothered at the moment. Beating myself up over the past. I feel that every decision I make is wrong. I regret so many things.
I am frustrated with myself - why can't I be smarter, wiser? Why can't I be more resilient? Why am I so damn insecure? Why don't I look my age, why don't I look like a normal human being (or... how I think I should look, I guess...)? Are my insecurities about myself justified? - do people look at me and think "Eww, she looks like a little kid and god her hands are so !@#$ing small! Gross!" Do people think I'm stupid, silly, timid, a doormat? Does it matter? How can I change the way I feel?
Just things going through my head right now. I don't - DON'T - want to get really depressed again. I don't know. I'll keep reading and looking for a job and eating better and all that. It's the best I can do.
*massive sigh*
I am frustrated with myself - why can't I be smarter, wiser? Why can't I be more resilient? Why am I so damn insecure? Why don't I look my age, why don't I look like a normal human being (or... how I think I should look, I guess...)? Are my insecurities about myself justified? - do people look at me and think "Eww, she looks like a little kid and god her hands are so !@#$ing small! Gross!" Do people think I'm stupid, silly, timid, a doormat? Does it matter? How can I change the way I feel?
Just things going through my head right now. I don't - DON'T - want to get really depressed again. I don't know. I'll keep reading and looking for a job and eating better and all that. It's the best I can do.
*massive sigh*
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
This pretty much describes how I've been feelin' lately, too.
mikebird
Banned
What it takes to get a job is someone who knows you to refer you - such as family or friend who trusts in your capability.
This reminds me of the simple magic of the olden days, when life was simple and people made friends.
I use the details of previous employers - boss or HR (how I landed there and got fired). This seems to sometimes works and gets me out of the lifelong paranoia of being worthless if I can only progress in life by providing two references. By submitting this info for recruiters to call would be futile, as they'd only get dismal opinions from people who got rid of me. :shyness:
Apparently the confidence to supply this is good enough, and the agent don't use it. Could be either way, with either outcome. I hope every attempt is unique, and when I take the next opportunity, the employer won't know about my previous failures
This reminds me of the simple magic of the olden days, when life was simple and people made friends.
I use the details of previous employers - boss or HR (how I landed there and got fired). This seems to sometimes works and gets me out of the lifelong paranoia of being worthless if I can only progress in life by providing two references. By submitting this info for recruiters to call would be futile, as they'd only get dismal opinions from people who got rid of me. :shyness:
Apparently the confidence to supply this is good enough, and the agent don't use it. Could be either way, with either outcome. I hope every attempt is unique, and when I take the next opportunity, the employer won't know about my previous failures
Stupid ex housemate. He's such a dic* I messaged him to see how he was getting on last week he never replied. No manners, then today, hes texting me about putting bills in my name. He didn't even ask, he just sent a snotty text instructing the account to be switched. Eh no I am not taking it on. Theres two other people living here and I already have the huuuuge gas and electricity bills, I think the other two can manage a tiny broadband bill between them. The really bitchy thing is the other guy living here must have rung him to tell him the bill came in, in order for him to ring me and tell me. Pair of wan****.
I replied very nicely and was very chatty, mentioned the weather, asked how he was and acknowledged his problem without actually offering any kind of resolution and just talked sh.ite a bit hahaha.
Truth is, this isn't my problem. And even if it were I am in the middle of exams. And they both know that, pair of **&* T, his bill nothing to do with me, I already have most of the house responsibilities.
heh maybe I should send him this....hehehehe....
I replied very nicely and was very chatty, mentioned the weather, asked how he was and acknowledged his problem without actually offering any kind of resolution and just talked sh.ite a bit hahaha.
Truth is, this isn't my problem. And even if it were I am in the middle of exams. And they both know that, pair of **&* T, his bill nothing to do with me, I already have most of the house responsibilities.
heh maybe I should send him this....hehehehe....
Opaline
1
When someone is staying at your house, even for an extended period of time - is he/she not a guest? So why would such a person think it is okay to criticize how you run your house, or how you behave in your house?
In short, I am pretty irritated right now. This person, while a member of our extended family, is currently homeless and should be grateful we are letting her stay here. It's pretty audacious of her to try and run our house for us, and tell us everything that's wrong with what we are doing.
On the positive side... I... well, can't think of anything. Going grocery shopping, if that can be considered positive.
In short, I am pretty irritated right now. This person, while a member of our extended family, is currently homeless and should be grateful we are letting her stay here. It's pretty audacious of her to try and run our house for us, and tell us everything that's wrong with what we are doing.
On the positive side... I... well, can't think of anything. Going grocery shopping, if that can be considered positive.
MikeyC
Well-known member
From the way you've been describing your job, you should've quit a very long time ago! I hope you make the right decision.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
^ We had that same exact problem with my cousin last year. We took her in the year before after she basically hit an all-time low in her life and wanted (and kind of needed) somewhere else to live. My parents let her live here, and within months she started criticizing us and how we lived, what was wrong, what we should do, etc. Eventually, when we weren't home and even when we were sleeping, she would go on cleaning sprees through the house and actually went through our stuff and threw out what she thought we didn't need. I'll admit, my parents kind of keep more than they should and even I get annoyed with it at times, but no way do you do that in someone else's house. :thumbdown: My dad was pissed for weeks over that one, and I can't remember the last time I saw him that mad. Thankfully she doesn't live here anymore, moved back in with her parents over the summer.
Opaline
1
Yikes, sorry to hear that. Throwing your things away? That is extremely rude! I would have voted to kick our "guest's" behind out right away if she dared went through my things, let alone throw them away! :thumbdown:
Funny, the person staying with us goes on cleaning sprees too... She waits until about 1 am, when everyone else is sleeping (or in their bedrooms), then does all the dishes and kitchen counters and bathroom. It's a nice thing to do, but I can't shake the feeling she resents doing it, like she has to or else it will never be clean. Which isn't true - our house isn't filthy, but we have a bunch of people living in a fairly small house and it gets cluttered easily. It's just a matter of maintaining the cleanliness, which can become a challenge when people get lazy and leave their crap around.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
^ Yep, that's exactly how it was. Between 12 - 3am she would clean. Our house can get a little filthy now and then, since my parents have a farm too, and it does get cluttered, but it definitely isn't a drastic mess. I totally understand how it's a challenge, it's like that here. My brother is really lazy, won't do anything to help. My dad has lazy streaks, but he works a lot too, so I suppose he does deserve a lazy day now and then. So that just leaves my mom and I that clean around here. Go figure.
planemo
Well-known member
it seems like i'm back in my old stomping ground, getting the cold shoulder from all my peers, who despite not even bothering to get to know me, have all ready decided that i'm just not good enough to form part of their company, and place little or no value on what i do or say, and some are not even willing to acknowledge me in any way. :applause:
i got this as child, and i still get it now. ah, the wonders of life. :kickingmyself:
i got this as child, and i still get it now. ah, the wonders of life. :kickingmyself:
twiggle
Well-known member
I think the things you say - on here at least - are very valuable. Sorry to hear that you're feeling that way though. Perhaps its just the anxiety making you feel that way, blurring reality to sate it's belief.
I'm just feeling very, very tired. I could really use a lengthier break over Christmas but I only have Christmas Day and Boxing Day off.
I feel like I need a couple of days where I just read, listen to music, see friends, look at old photos, and go on Skype. I'm so grateful to have these jobs but feel like I need some 'me' time.
I'm going away in March... but no other time off until then besides weekends.
Not that I want to sound like I'm grumbling. Unemployment was what fuelled my miserable period in 2011 and I'd take being busy and tired over that every time.
I just... need to perfect my balancing act I guess.
Early night tonight, methinks.