I have no friends in University

[andylost]

I'm a talkative guy and i'm friendly too, so i can't understand why i haven't made any friends yet. I've only made acquaintances. Since i started uni in sept i've had literally noone to go for lunch breaks with. It's making me really lonely because i would love to have friends. It's now making me think that they just don't like me? A few people have even avoiding talking to me altogether. Can anyone help me resolve the situation? Thanks

 

[andylost]

bump.((((((((

 

[this_portrait]

I'm in the same situation as you, except I've been in school since Fall 2008. It seems like there were times when I was on the right track, but then I couldn't keep up. This is my last year now, and I feel lonelier than ever. The only thing I can really suggest is that, if there are people who you know or were talking to, just initiate contact with them by telling them, "Hi" and asking things like, "How are you?" or "How was your weekend?" That may give them more incentive to keep talking to you.

I wish I could offer other advice, but that's all I really know. Like I said, I'm still trying to figure out how to make and keep friends as well.

 

[MrJones]

This is my third year and I have 0 friends. But if you say you are friendly and talkative you may find that you make friends in the future. Just keep trying and give it a bit more time

 

[Hamelech]

Me neither, but I didn't care since my classmates were bad-mannered and dumb. I'm glad I don't have to go at the University anymore.

 

[Siegfried]

you are not the only one, it is the same with me in university, i study music an art, so i think is even more difficult because people is kind of strange in their on way, i made a couple of friends but that's not enough when you have to be changing class schedules and meeting new people in the process, if you're friendly with others i'm sure that you will make friends very soon, just give it time, sometimes we can only depend on time and expect to reach the right people

 

[bigcat1967]

You've been at college for two months? Maybe you should give it more time.

Just my opinion.

Good luck in the future.

 

[Beatrice]

Like you, I only have acquaintances so far as well, but I've only been here for a few weeks. However, I hang out in their dorms and such, which I think is definitely on track to becoming friends with some of them. Do you ever spend time with them, besides just chatting a little or saying hi?

 

[planemo]

I'm a talkative guy and i'm friendly too, so i can't understand why i haven't made any friends yet. I've only made acquaintances. Since i started uni in sept i've had literally noone to go for lunch breaks with. It's making me really lonely because i would love to have friends. It's now making me think that they just don't like me? A few people have even avoiding talking to me altogether. Can anyone help me resolve the situation? Thanks

School and university friends are not really important. I know if you told me that when I was in uni a few years back, I would have disagreed, but really they're not. In a few years time you'll lose touch coz they have work commitments or may end up getting married and will prioritize other things. You don't have to have friends I think. You can be happy on your own. Sometimes though it is good to share your thoughts and opinions with someone else, to get involved in a conversation about something that isn't a worry or an obstacle. But that's pretty much all friends can really offer you. You don't need to be best friends with lots of people. The acquaintances you speak of, can offer that support of being someone to engage with. That's all you really need.

Take it from me, you rather spend your time focusing on your studies.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Join a club.
They are designed for making friends.

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

Do what I did, see if there are any clubs that are of the kind of things you are interested in. The chances are that you will find other people who share your interests because they would be in the same kind of clubs. People who share a common interest will generally become aquaintances, then progress to friends

And Wierdy nicked my idea before I finished typing::

 

[kikiore]

for me, i realize that ur friends at high school will be forever your clossest friends. at university, people are friendly with each other, but fact is they are only «school friends». i don't have anything to talk about except school. and they don't bother telling what they like in life. Of all the billions acquaintance i got to know, 2 became my friends.
you have to understand university is competitive and chance to find real friends are low. one semester, i only knew acquaintance and didn't have anybody to have lunch with. It was my best semester! i didn't need to force myself to find a topic to talk about and i didn't have to listen to complaints from people.
real friends are hard to find. well i only hang out with my real friends

 

[v_coccotti]

You could join a club to get friends.

 

[vj288]

I'm a talkative guy and i'm friendly too, so i can't understand why i haven't made any friends yet. I've only made acquaintances. Since i started uni in sept i've had literally noone to go for lunch breaks with. It's making me really lonely because i would love to have friends. It's now making me think that they just don't like me? A few people have even avoiding talking to me altogether. Can anyone help me resolve the situation? Thanks

So you have so acquaintances, that's good! I'm not big on distinguishing between acquaintances and friends, but if there's a difference the line is fine. Have you tried eating meals with any of these people? Eating together is a great way to get to know people (that's how every first date goes =p), and you don't have to do it with only people you consider a "friend." Don't search for friends, search for people to spend time with, to spend your lunch breaks with. Friendships develop, and you spend some time with some of these acquaintances (or even some people you know less) you may become friends, or be introduced to some. Just take that initiative and go do friend-things with people who may not be your "friends." That's what you want the friend for to begin with for, isn't it?

 

[andylost]

Update: I still haven't made friends yet. The classmates i see everyday really seem to dislike me. As in they don't talk to me- I talk to them. I initiate the conversation. And I have yet to find anyone who i could share my lunch breaks with. I don't know why. I smell good and look normal. It's not making sense to me. It's november now and i'm still friendless. What can i do?

 

[Etbow23]

Update: I still haven't made friends yet. The classmates i see everyday really seem to dislike me. As in they don't talk to me- I talk to them. I initiate the conversation. And I have yet to find anyone who i could share my lunch breaks with. I don't know why. I smell good and look normal. It's not making sense to me. It's november now and i'm still friendless. What can i do?

Sometimes you have to get used to being alone until someone comes along who actually shares your ideas and who likes the things you like & maybe has had the same situation as you. I could say "join a club" or something like that but even if you do that, if you have social anxiety, you very well will find yourself being excluded and feeling even worse. Most people like simple people, because they themselves are simple. If your a truly special person, it may be harder for you to find a real friend.

I find that usually people who don't think you're desperate for friends are more likely to reach out to you. So just act secure and like you're not looking for anyone, but don't be mean or anything. Usually people like secure people

 

[spyr05]

I just want to let you know that first of all, you've only just started uni. You have so much time to figure out your place, and trust me, some kids can be WEIRD about the niches they form in the first few months of school. And a lot of the groups that form in that time frame don't even last throughout the rest of your time at school.
And I also want you to know that you're definitely not alone. You might feel like you are, but I know that I felt this way during my first few years at school and there are probably a lot more people who feel that way than you do and there is nothing wrong with you. I hope that hearing that helps, because I know it would have helped me.

 

[Solo Dolo]

im in the same situation. i am in my second year of university and I also have 0 friends. It sucks.

 

[Nanita]

I didnt make any friends when I was in university. Actually I wasn´t even trying, because, well, I suck at socializing, and because I wanted to be in uni mainly to learn and study, I thought that was the main purpose of attending any type of school institution.... I noticed everybody was mainly focused on socializing and chit chatting, which annoyed me. I wished uni could be a place where I didn´t have to feel like I was still in high school, with all the same social crap. Anyway I couldnt handle anything in uni so I dropped out. The end

 

[Nanita]

I didnt make any friends when I was in university. Actually I wasn´t even trying, because, well, I suck at socializing, and because I wanted to be in uni mainly to learn and study, I thought that was the main purpose of attending any type of school institution.... I noticed everybody was mainly focused on socializing and chit chatting, which annoyed me. I wished uni could be a place where I didn´t have to feel like I was still in high school, with all the same social crap. Anyway I couldnt handle anything in uni so I dropped out. The end