I'm 17 and never had a girlfriend

Thatguyk

Thatguyk

New member
I wanted this to go in the Friendships and love section but it kept saying invalid forum. Anyways, I'm 17 and never had a girlfriend, never even kissed a girl. So yes I'm a virgin if you didn't catch that. I'm one of those guys who ended up being very unpopular which makes you disliked by most people. I have some friends in my social class (as in same social type as me).Popularity is a bunch of bs but that's how it works. I'm not good at starting conversations with people, except for current friends. Also I'm a nice guy but all girls hate nice guys and like jerks to treat them like crap. I don't know why that is. I don't have any jerk in me. If I live a lonely life then I will live a depressing life as a failure. Can loser guys like me get girls? And that is my real picture btw.
 
Lou-s-Darkness

Lou-s-Darkness

Well-known member
I know what it's like to feel like no one really wants you, and some of us might even think omg....I'll be alone forever if I can't have a gf/bf at this age, since everyone seems to have a partner at that age easily.

Well I'm turning 20 a few months from now, and I do wish I was able to have someone in my life...but you know what? just focus on your future, man. It's the best you can do for now...take this as advice from someone who's been alone and miserable their whole life and wants change and other things to focus on. Don't worry about how u look lol (you remind me of myself a few yrs ago). You look like an adorable lad, and people's looks change for the better when they're older, usually, become more defined...don't let ur teen years get u and affect who u really are and who you want to become! :3


Thanks for hearing me out,

Lou~
 
Roman Legion

Roman Legion

Well-known member
I'm 23 and never had one, you will likely reach a point as I have where you no longer care about such things. I understand how you feel and it sucks, but they are correct here.
 
chibiXphantom

chibiXphantom

Well-known member
i never dated in high school, and im really glad about that. i never had a boyfriend till i was in college. and your only 17. what things are like now do not determine what they will be like the rest of your life.
and you shouldnt make having a girlfriend be a big goal for you. i used to think (before i ever dated anyone) that having a boyfriend would make everything better and that it would make me happy. but you have to learn to be happy on your own, not depend on someone else for that.

and as for girls liking the jerks and stuff, i really dont know how to explain that. i think it has to do with the fact that they seem tougher, and girls seem to like to feel like their boyfriend is tough can protect them. and possibly that some girls just like the drama.
 
Arthur_Dent

Arthur_Dent

1
Thatguyk, I understand our frustration and hopelessness, but do have in mind you're 17, you do have time to change things. I am 24 and only until now I am trying to change things, and I know much older guys dealing with the same problems. Don't let that happen to you. I won't tell you to just let time pass because things don't get worked out by themselves, I did not lost my anxiety and didn't stopped to feel frustrated and lonely, if anything I think that got worst, some of my particular circumstances, like my career and still living with my parents haven't helped about it, but this is my advice:

Look for professional help, preferably a psychologist that instead of giving you pills listens to your problems, understands them and help you get over them. You may need to see a couple before finding a proper one, but it's worth it. Whether if you want to go to college or do something else after high school, being on treatment for the anxiety will make things better.
 
razzle dazzle rose

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
Thatguyk said:
Also I'm a nice guy but all girls hate nice guys and like jerks to treat them like crap. I don't know why that is. I don't have any jerk in me.
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This has become a tired complaint honestly. I don't buy the whole nice guy routine. I have seen plenty of jerk in so-called nice guys. People are not all good or all bad. What I can see though is that shy guys have a harder time because they hesitate in making the first move; this is where guys who are more outgoing have an advantage, as they will often take the risk and ask girls out.

High school is an awkward phase for many. What I would suggest is to work on yourself. Find hobbies and interests that you are passionate about. Become a well-rounded interesting individual, so that when you are in college you can break the cycle. If you have issues with depression or anxiety, talk to a therapist.
 
J

jc972

1
Well I see your frustration but I must say it could be worse. Let me elaborate. Being 16 and a girl you barely know informing you that she is pregnant and it's yours, that's a real drag. Being 17 and finding out that the 28 year old woman you've been seeing for 2 months is married after all :thumbdown:. Being 18 and dating some girl that comes from money and expects all the finer things from a boyfriend that barely made $6/hour on a construction job really blows. Luckily for me the one wasn't really pregnant, the married one's husband was also cheating on her so he didn't care. My point is that yes it does suck being alone but some situations are far worse. I work with a dude that's 35 and never had a girlfriend, good guy, good worker, just shy. But he tries as I'm sure you do too. One day it will happen. From my experience I wound up in relationships when I wasn't looking for one at all.
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
Thatguyk said:
I'm not happy. You don't understand Hellhound.
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A girlfriend on its own won't make you happy either, though.

Relationships and intimacy are a result of circumstance and opportunity, it's not a method with which you get happiness. Relationships/love can enrich happiness, but it can't create happiness purely on its own merit.

''Love'' that creates happiness is a fairy tale portrayed in fiction that many people seem to fall for, but it is rarely- to never, applicable to the real world.
 
Flanscho

Flanscho

Well-known member
What you got to learn is this:
Right now, you want a girlfriend. Why? Everyone got one, and you want to make a good impression on others. However, that is wrong! Bad you, bad!

The correct point of view would be to want someone as a girlfriend because you love that person for various reasons that don't apply to other people. Because of her individuality, character, and so on. Not as a trophy to show around, to share how good you are at sex, or other nonsense.

Also:
but all girls hate nice guys and like jerks
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What impression do you think does this make on girls that might like you? I'll tell you: it will give them the impression that you are full of prejudices, not intelligent enough to overcome them, and not interested in getting a nice girl at all but rather want a slut of some sort, because you don't even intend to give them a chance.
 
rosewood

rosewood

Well-known member
i did not start dating until after i was 17.

high school culture seems like it is so important when one is stuck inside of it, but once you are out, there are societal rules that dont allow for some of the things that happen there.

the idea that girls like guys who treat them like crap, is not quite fair or accurate. no one wants to be treated like crap. the guys who are this way are doing it as part of a larger controlling behavior pattern, if we are talking about the same people. it is abuse, and it can break a persons ability to think for themself. i dont think you wish to emmulate an *******. you dont seem like the type

you are only 17, but you are comparing yourself to others. try if you can, not to do this. the world is a big place, and you havent had time to meet everyone in it. try to adopt a kinder attitude towards yourself, ok? allow yourself some slack, please.
 
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