No one responding me :(

Marc7

Marc7

Well-known member
On this site i go on where you send messages to people and can write on a forum, lately the new people and two people i talked to for a long time haven't responding to me even people :(. I understand people are busy and everyone doesn't respond right away but the two people i talked too for a long usually respond by now and the new people well that's always been happening to me :sad:. It really hurts because i'm trying to make friends there and i don't have any friends at all irl or on the internet (which hurts too for my age). Plus it hurts because i message a medium amount of new people and one of the people i talked to for a long time has social anxiety. Also it hurts because you can see if people read your message i think meaning you can see if they ignore you or not if that possible. So i take it personal even though i know i am not suppose to but it is hard. I think people don't respond to me because of me asking a lot questions and my bad conversation skills. Maybe I should be more grateful for the people who are still responding to me and just stop messaging new people even though i message new people (because not a lot of people respond to me, i want to learn korean, and i want to make friends with socially anxious people and non socially anxious people). Idk why i'm so greedy and i don't think it's because i have no friends (because i am big procrastinator and have no motivation for very important things and things that make my life better or easier so i don't respond to some people right away especially long messages). Even though i been responding within a week to some people lately. Maybe its affecting me more because i haven't taking my medicine (for depression, anxiety,and ocd) and i don't like my job yet. Anybody have any advice for me?

Sorry it's suppose to be no one is responding to me.
 
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Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
Don't forget people from this message board have social anxiety related issues, and may not feel so comfortable chatting for a long time. Ask them directly if they want to keep chatting or if they would prefer not to. You can also openly ask them if there's something they dislike about your approach, so that you may improve on it (if you agree, that is; also, you need to be open to suggestions and/or constructive criticism, otherwise it will backfire). Also, keep in mind that your personality might not be particularly compatible with those particular people, which may cause people to naturally drift apart.
 
kihira

kihira

1
There can be lots of reasons why people don't respond; I often don't as my brain is in non-conversation mode most of the time. I would suggest putting more focus on the responses you DO get and less on the times you don't
 
ONline87_15793

ONline87_15793

Well-known member
Marc7 said:
On this site i go on where you send messages to people and can write on a forum, lately the new people and two people i talked to for a long time haven't responding to me even people :(. I understand people are busy and everyone doesn't respond right away but the two people i talked too for a long usually respond by now and the new people well that's always been happening to me :sad:. It really hurts because i'm trying to make friends there and i don't have any friends at all irl or on the internet (which hurts too for my age). Plus it hurts because i message a medium amount of new people and one of the people i talked to for a long time has social anxiety. Also it hurts because you can see if people read your message i think meaning you can see if they ignore you or not if that possible. So i take it personal even though i know i am not suppose to but it is hard. I think people don't respond to me because of me asking a lot questions and my bad conversation skills. Maybe I should be more grateful for the people who are still responding to me and just stop messaging new people even though i message new people (because not a lot of people respond to me, i want to learn korean, and i want to make friends with socially anxious people and non socially anxious people). Idk why i'm so greedy and i don't think it's because i have no friends (because i am big procrastinator and have no motivation for very important things and things that make my life better or easier so i don't respond to some people right away especially long messages). Even though i been responding within a week to some people lately. Maybe its affecting me more because i haven't taking my medicine (for depression, anxiety,and ocd) and i don't like my job yet. Anybody have any advice for me?

Sorry it's suppose to be no one is responding to me.
Click to expand...

Simply think that they are busy, improve you as you can and try to make more friends in different places.
 
fate12321

fate12321

Well-known member
Yeah, i know that feel. I try to engage in conversation with people on here and i usually end up being ignored. I don't even bother to message anymore. I have mine turned off.
 
Marc7

Marc7

Well-known member
Sacrament said:
Don't forget people from this message board have social anxiety related issues, and may not feel so comfortable chatting for a long time. Ask them directly if they want to keep chatting or if they would prefer not to. You can also openly ask them if there's something they dislike about your approach, so that you may improve on it (if you agree, that is; also, you need to be open to suggestions and/or constructive criticism, otherwise it will backfire). Also, keep in mind that your personality might not be particularly compatible with those particular people, which may cause people to naturally drift apart.
Click to expand...

I'm talking about another site with people with and with sa. Ask the people who didn't respond to me that? Thank you for the advice but I'm too scared or anxious to do that but I guess it is worth a try.
 
Marc7

Marc7

Well-known member
kihira said:
There can be lots of reasons why people don't respond; I often don't as my brain is in non-conversation mode most of the time. I would suggest putting more focus on the responses you DO get and less on the times you don't
Click to expand...

Why is your brain on non conversation mode most of the time? Thank you for the advice.
 
Marc7

Marc7

Well-known member
ONline87_15793 said:
Simply think that they are busy, improve you as you can and try to make more friends in different places.
Click to expand...

Might be but it is frustrating when so much people don't respond to you and also this other social media I go on you can see that they are online and active (like I am in a group where you can see people talking to each other). And they still don't respond sigh... Also it's hard to improve yourself when you have low motivation and high procrastination levels.
 
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Marc7

Marc7

Well-known member
fate12321 said:
Yeah, i know that feel. I try to engage in conversation with people on here and i usually end up being ignored. I don't even bother to message anymore. I have mine turned off.
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I am talking about another site but that sucks that even sa people would not respond to you. Well I'm sure someone will respond to you if you keep trying or just have someone respond to you.
 
kihira

kihira

1
Marc7 said:
Don't you want to make friends though?
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This is a difficult question for me, I'll try to respond with some of the disconnected thoughts I have about it, as it's something I've been thinking about a lot of late.

I do have some friends, though no one in real life I would think of as a close friend - I'm not comfortable getting too close - I sometimes see people hugging with genuine affection and I feel a sense of sadness at not experiencing this with someone other than family - I'm more than comfortable being alone, I usually prefer doing things by myself and I get cranky if I don't get alone time - I'm happy as an introvert and don't have any desire to make friends just for the sake of it, though sometimes there are people online and in RL who I would like to get to know better, but awkwardness and low self-esteem get in the way, I don't like me so why would others?

Sorry, I've ranted on your thread somewhat, but it was a personally provocative question
 
Ransfordrowe

Ransfordrowe

Well-known member
Hi.It sounds like you might need to work on being less needy and sensitive.The word hurt was used alot in your message.From using the site myself for quite a long time,I have learnt that alot of people come and go.So having just two people you speak to is risky.Maybe you need to have a larger group of people on the site you speak to.It can be anoyying when people are slow to respond to messages etc,but learning to be patience is important.
 
Marc7

Marc7

Well-known member
kihira said:
This is a difficult question for me, I'll try to respond with some of the disconnected thoughts I have about it, as it's something I've been thinking about a lot of late.

I do have some friends, though no one in real life I would think of as a close friend - I'm not comfortable getting too close - I sometimes see people hugging with genuine affection and I feel a sense of sadness at not experiencing this with someone other than family - I'm more than comfortable being alone, I usually prefer doing things by myself and I get cranky if I don't get alone time - I'm happy as an introvert and don't have any desire to make friends just for the sake of it, though sometimes there are people online and in RL who I would like to get to know better, but awkwardness and low self-esteem get in the way, I don't like me so why would others?

Sorry, I've ranted on your thread somewhat, but it was a personally provocative question
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At least you have friends, I don't have anybody I consider a friend yet. And I experience sadness seeing people hanging out with there friends and loved ones. I have the desire to make friends but my procrastination, motivation, fear of revealing secrets, fear of giving my opinions, not knowing how to say, and not knowing how to make friends gets in the way. I think people would like you if you try to become their friends. It's okay to rant here.
 
Marc7

Marc7

Well-known member
Ransfordrowe said:
Hi.It sounds like you might need to work on being less needy and sensitive.The word hurt was used alot in your message.From using the site myself for quite a long time,I have learnt that alot of people come and go.So having just two people you speak to is risky.Maybe you need to have a larger group of people on the site you speak to.It can be anoyying when people are slow to respond to messages etc,but learning to be patience is important.
Click to expand...

I agree but I think I have Avpd so that makes me ultra sensitive. Yea it frustrating and hurts when people don't respond you for the reasons I stated. I'm talking about another site. I do talk to more people than two people. Well I understand I have to be patient but not having friends for so long makes me unpatient I guess.
 
Argentum

Argentum

Well-known member
Even forum regulars tend to come and go in my experience, and while it's hurtful I find it helps to have a means of contacting someone away from a forum such as e-mail so that people who are close aren't affected if one person decides to leave. Unfortunately, some things aren't meant to last either way... it's rarely personal.

And yes, anxiety can play a role. Another part of it is that people may not have anything to say about a topic and feel awkward in a conversation as a result. Talking about something like Family Guy or recipes is uncomfortable to me because I don't find them interesting but feel obligated to be nice and stay in a conversation.
 
Halym

Halym

Banned
I also have SA.. And NO ONE responds to me.. I don't know why... All I can say about that is that I also have no idea about this and it is just a bad habit some people have..
 
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