Ok I'm shy... SO WHAT?

[BrokenSmile]

Shy people should answer of this question: "I want to change myself not to be so shy anymore for me, or for the other people around me?" ..... coz if u like the way you are and you feel confortable with your timidity you don't have to change anything.

I dont't like overbold people at all. I like shy people like me and i feel confortable with my timidity i really don't like chatterbox who talk loud just to draw somebody's attention or else. So why should i change myself ... why should not to be shy anymore if i like the way i am? Just because the others want that?! No way!...What if we - shy people- tell them to change an stop talking so loud and so much and stop beeing so daring or else and be like us? is the same thing .

Shy people are normal and they don't have to change. It's all about personality. There are shy people and overbold people, blusterings, phlegmatics ... They are like that by nature and they don't have to change the way they are just because others are different. We have to be different and yes we are shy and some people aren't and both involve advantages and disadvantages. And shy people have a lot of advantages beeing like they are even if you will won't agree with me .

I will open a new topic and i will show whitch are those advantages .....uh i hope you will understand what i mean ...sorry for my english if is not so good..

 

[bimbo45]

I know how you feel! I am shy have got no friends and your right. No matter how itry i can do nothing about it. It's a nightmare!

 

[Blue_Scholar]

Shy people should answer of this question: "I want to change myself not to be so shy anymore for me, or for the other people around me?" ..... coz if u like the way you are and you feel confortable with your timidity you don't have to change anything.

I dont't like overbold people at all. I like shy people like me and i feel confortable with my timidity i really don't like chatterbox who talk loud just to draw somebody's attention or else. So why should i change myself ... why should not to be shy anymore if i like the way i am? Just because the others want that?! No way!...What if we - shy people- tell them to change an stop talking so loud and so much and stop beeing so daring or else and be like us? is the same thing .

Shy people are normal and they don't have to change. It's all about personality. There are shy people and overbold people, blusterings, phlegmatics ... They are like that by nature and they don't have to change the way they are just because others are different. We have to be different and yes we are shy and some people aren't and both involve advantages and disadvantages. And shy people have a lot of advantages beeing like they are even if you will won't agree with me .

I will open a new topic and i will show whitch are those advantages .....uh i hope you will understand what i mean ...sorry for my english if is not so good..

I went out to a bar with people from work last night, and was very uncomfortable the whole time. That is why I signed up for this site today, actually. I've done a lot of thinking since last night, and I agree with BrokenSmile's post a lot! I went to the bar with these people because I did not want to be rude and turn them down. I wanted to turn them down because I knew it would not be a comfortable or enjoyable situation for me. From my perspective, I willingly put myself in an uncomfortable situation out of respect for them and to be less selfish about my own needs. But the whole time, they were trying to get me to sing karaoke, to dance with strangers, to date the random guy who sat next to me, to drink alcohol (I do not drink either. You can imagine being both a person who is extremely shy AND abstinent from alcohol at a bar!), etc. Not only was this going on, but when I did try to make conversation and meet new people, the music was so loud I had to shout to be heard. The whole experience was just not my cup of tea, to put it nicely... I finally excused myself politely and left after a couple of hours. When they asked why I was leaving, I said I was tired and out of my element (just like the first poster!) So they grabbed me, dragged me onto the dance floor, and tried to force me to dance by grabbing my arms and moving me around! I was completely shocked!

Now, I go to bars all the time when invited, usually when invited by good friends to a nice, quiet place where we can talk and relax. This was the first time since college where I felt people were trying to *force* me to change who I am or how I act in public. I was especially annoyed because I do not know these people well. Did I ask them to stop dancing, singing, drinking, flirting or acting outgoing in general, even though it annoys me and makes me so uncomfortable, I want to leave? No! So why do they think they have the right to do that to me? I just don't understand it. And it makes me sad, because I do like these people and would be interested in being friends with them, but I'm not so sure now that they have shown themselves to be not very accepting or understanding of who I am.

Lol, that's the end of my rant for the day. I feel better knowing there are other people out there that have similar experiences to mine!

 

[AlinaGirl]

The last few parties i have been to lately i ended up leaving early because i just found it difficult enterring the conversation. I feel my weakness is keeping a conversation interesting and alot of the time the other people are speaking another language that they are all in tune with. I find it all a big clash of ego's and who is the funniest and i find it an extremely harrowing experiance sometimes. I just wonder how the hell these people are able to think of something funny so quickly. And then people try and put me down because i don't have much to say instead of helping me out.

I feel that way too sometimes. How on earth can people think of something clever to say so quickly? Sometimes I can do it, but other people seem to find it so easy to do.

 

[**removed**]

Once I was on holiday with my parents in this nice quiet place near the coast, and we went in this little coffee shop we've been in before. We were just stood there for a few minutes, my parents having a little chat with the woman, and she looked at me and said "YOU'RE SHY!" in a kinda 'awww' like voice. That freaked me out/pissed me off. They can read our character I swear.

 

[Argamemnon]

I forgot ssomething very imortant

Is it possible to change? Is it possible to stop being shy?

It's possible to some extent in my view, but very shy people will probably never become truly outgoing and open.

I would also hate it if people said I'm shy. It's just ludicrous.. so what? Not all people can be the same.

 

[recluse]

Once I was on holiday with my parents in this nice quiet place near the coast, and we went in this little coffee shop we've been in before. We were just stood there for a few minutes, my parents having a little chat with the woman, and she looked at me and said "YOU'RE SHY!" in a kinda 'awww' like voice. That freaked me out/pissed me off. They can read our character I swear.

These people we know from Liverpool come to stay in a holiday cottage which we look after for their family who live abroad, and the guy told me when i was a kid ''What's the matter? Have you lost your tongue?!''...It's kind of patronizing when someone points out our flaws (i'm not sure if shyness is a flaw?)

 

[Kien]

Common people does not undestand it's an insult and something we are ashamed of. It's almost like :"hey you're ugly! "

About talking, I simply don't undrstand how people can come up with interresting things to talk about. Especialy if they don't have anything in common.

 

[**removed**]

Once I was on holiday with my parents in this nice quiet place near the coast, and we went in this little coffee shop we've been in before. We were just stood there for a few minutes, my parents having a little chat with the woman, and she looked at me and said "YOU'RE SHY!" in a kinda 'awww' like voice. That freaked me out/pissed me off. They can read our character I swear.

These people we know from Liverpool come to stay in a holiday cottage which we look after for their family who live abroad, and the guy told me when i was a kid ''What's the matter? Have you lost your tongue?!''...It's kind of patronizing when someone points out our flaws (i'm not sure if shyness is a flaw?)

Damn what an arsehole!

Shyness isn't a flaw. Ok I admit a lot of times I don't talk because it's easier not to and i'm lazy (probably to do with my age), but around people I don't know I kinda prefer to keep quiet. Often I don't know what to say. IMO people should mind their own business. If someone has no hair I wouldn't go "Eh up Baldy!"

 

[theraydawg]

You shouldn't be ashamed of being shy. It's ok if someone points it out, but if they do so in a confrontational tone, don't be afraid to tell them how you feel about their actions. There's nothing wrong with being shy. It's just a different type of personality. And if you want to think that your personality type is better than someone elses, well than that's just like, your opinion man.

Next time someone confronts you about being shy, make sure you confront them right back about being bigoted, stuck up ass bitches. Don't actually use such harsh words though, unless you really want to get into it with someone.

 

[Clarkie]

You know... it's always the same... last night I went to a job mates party (around 50 people) and all the girls I was with started saying I was so shy (one even said I was "getting afraid of them") and I became angry so I left after having supper, you know, I just didn't feel like spending all night long with that stupid lot of peole so I went back home.

This morning I though about it and something was in my mind all the time: ok... so I'm shy.... so what? Am i supposed to change?, am I supposed to suicide?, am I supposed to kill my parents in vengeance?
What the f*** hell can I do if I'm shy?
But the worst of all is that everytime they call me shy they are underestimating me and I feel like they don't have any respect for me. I just don't mind anyone telling me I'm shy. I already noticed it :roll: but what about underestimating me? They treat me like I'm inferior and I just can't let them do that. I think I'm a person and so I deserve the same RESPECT than any other person. Being shy does not mean having less brains, courage, heart, strength... so what?

Hey, so good to speak to someone going through the same hassles, i got invited to a party last week and when it came to introducing myself to people in the room I went all stupid and couldn't bring myself to do it, as a result I was told that I was rude for not introducing myself!! S**T! i was petrified dude, but some people took that as being stuck up, there's nothing wrong with being shy, its just that others dont always get it dude, good luck! if there's anything i can do to help you man, let me know.