Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

[MikeyC]

That is the part that bewilders me.
How do people manage to keep up the appearance that things are ok with them, all the time?
How do you find the energy to be "smiling and appearing quite jovial" all the time?
I can only manage it for a very small amount of time, then I can no longer sustain it.

Well, it's not always easy. Most of the time I prefer to stay away from people when feelings like that occur, but I do try to put on a happy face when I'm out. There's a time and place for wallowing, and it's not when I'm with some friends.

 

[Sial Axetder]

That is the part that bewilders me.
How do people manage to keep up the appearance that things are ok with them, all the time?
How do you find the energy to be "smiling and appearing quite jovial" all the time?
I can only manage it for a very small amount of time, then I can no longer sustain it.

It's a professional world out there. We need money to survive. To get money we must work. To work we must be professional. To be professional we must mask ourselves.

 

[BlueDays]

Well, it's not always easy. Most of the time I prefer to stay away from people when feelings like that occur, but I do try to put on a happy face when I'm out. There's a time and place for wallowing, and it's not when I'm with some friends.

I am not necessarily referring to "wallowing", I mean getting to a point where you are so tired that you can no longer stop the sad or numb facial expression. When the sadness can sometimes overpower your mood and the "fake smile" just runs out. It is hard to explain, but I understand what you said.

It's a professional world out there. We need money to survive. To get money we must work. To work we must be professional. To be professional we must mask ourselves.

Yes, that is one way of looking at the survival requirement to develop a way to maintain the fake "happy" exterior at all times when in public.

 

[MikeyC]

I am not necessarily referring to "wallowing", I mean getting to a point where you are so tired that you can no longer stop the sad or numb facial expression. When the sadness can sometimes overpower your mood and the "fake smile" just runs out. It is hard to explain, but I understand what you said.

Yeah, I understand this. It's happened before, but not often - or not often for people to comment on. I guess years and years of pretending things were okay when they clearly weren't has helped me.

 

[BlueDays]

Yeah, I understand this. It's happened before, but not often - or not often for people to comment on. I guess years and years of pretending things were okay when they clearly weren't has helped me.

ah, so it's kind of like coyote's comment of it being a "Force of habit".
So maybe all the years of being cooped up hiding in my bedroom means I just don't have as much experience as other people at faking everything being ok.:thinking:

 

[coyote]

for me, it's not about "faking it" - it's about finding things to express positivity over

it's easier being OK for everyone else's sake than it is for my own

 

[BlueDays]

for me, it's not about "faking it" - it's about finding things to express positivity over

it's easier being OK for everyone else's sake than it is for my own

ah ok. That is food for thought, thanks coyote.

 

[Sial Axetder]

for me, it's not about "faking it" - it's about finding things to express positivity over

it's easier being OK for everyone else's sake than it is for my own

Quite right, Yote-man.

No one in the social public really cares about another's lowly dealt hand at life. They won't pay any mind to that. Speak positively and people respond positively.

 

[EscapeArtist]

ah, worst fear as far as social outings.... Missing the thing, but everybody being aware of it. Feel like crap. felt like crap. Tried my best

 

[EscapeArtist]

for me, it's not about "faking it" - it's about finding things to express positivity over

it's easier being OK for everyone else's sake than it is for my own

this is so well said. o_o I almost want to write it down so I can relate to it over and over

 

[dottie]

online sites that make you sign up before you can even browse their goods, like uncovet... h:

 

[twiggle]

In other news, my friend has finally split from her abusive boyfriend. Not before he'd physically attacked her and used disgusting language towards her friends on her BIRTHDAY. My only worry is that she'll go back to him, again. But for now, karma is working it's way well Apparently he's devastated at losing her.

They're back together.
He cried and made her 'realise' that her friends are bad. He's going to change.
He can't live without her. Now she's gone quiet on the rest of us.

I'd normally fight until the very last to keep a friend but in this instance I think he's going to decide who she mixes with so the decision is beyond my control.

It's sad but to be fair we've already been gradually drifting apart because of all of this. I was getting tired of her always changing our plans because of something to do with his manipulative behaviour. Now she's willing to stay with somebody who actively calls all her friends every name under the sun, and who sat there seething when people were telling stories about funny things she'd done in the past (before he came along). He clearly hates her being happy about anything that isn't to do with him.

But it's okay, he 'loves' her. Eyeroll.

I am never going to anything in the future where he might be there. I can't even pretend to be nice to something like that whereas before I'd always tried to be polite around him.

Sorry for the rant SPW but I needed to let off some steam.

On the plus side, talk about a good reason to be single.

 

[Kiwong]

A good day I spent with a positive bunch of people. One or two seem angry with me, buts that not my problem. All in all, the negative influences on my life in my working week where left behind and forgotten.

 

[BlueDays]

A good day I spent with a positive bunch of people. One or two seem angry with me, buts that not my problem. All in all, the negative influences on my life in my working week where left behind and forgotten.

Good to hear you had a good day Kiwong! :thumbup:


I need to find a better way to get my anger out. Or I should say, a way that actually works.
My mother's strict up bringing still has me caged in an invisible electric fence, that will zap me if I dare to express my emotions in an "undignified" manner.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Good to hear you had a good day Kiwong! :thumbup:


I need to find a better way to get my anger out. Or I should say, a way that actually works.
My mother's strict up bringing still has me caged in an invisible electric fence, that will zap me if I dare to express my emotions in an "undignified" manner.

Hmm I had a similar upbringing. My father always had is hand out. Ready for a big time back of the head swat if I or my other siblings walked or talked out of line.

What worked for me was forgiveness. Then I moved on. Maybe you can do something similar?

 

[coyote]

I need to find a better way to get my anger out. Or I should say, a way that actually works.
My mother's strict up bringing still has me caged in an invisible electric fence, that will zap me if I dare to express my emotions in an "undignified" manner.

i've often had just the opposite problem

i was raised in a family that expressed its anger - and other emotions - openly, frequently, and in a decidely undiginified manner

no one was ever violent or abusive - just loud, exuberant, and quick to speak our mind, and equally quick to let bygones be bygones

i've learned the hard way that harmless or exuberant shouting is often interpreted unfavorably by people who were raised in more reserved households - where an angry shout meant physical violence was about to ensue, or in which disagreements were followed by unforgivable grudges

 

[Sial Axetder]

i've often had just the opposite problem

i was raised in a family that expressed its anger - and other emotions - openly, frequently, and in a decidely undiginified manner

no one was ever violent or abusive - just loud, exuberant, and quick to speak our mind, and equally quick to let bygones be bygones

i've learned the hard way that harmless or exuberant shouting is often interpreted unfavorably by people who were raised in more reserved households - where an angry shout meant physical violence was about to ensue, or in which disagreements were followed by unforgivable grudges

Another reason why moderation is key to everything.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

It put me such in a good mood when I spend the whole week end doing artworks, I don't know why I only do it once in a while

Good to hear you had a good day Kiwong! :thumbup:


I need to find a better way to get my anger out. Or I should say, a way that actually works.
My mother's strict up bringing still has me caged in an invisible electric fence, that will zap me if I dare to express my emotions in an "undignified" manner.

Did you try putting loud music in your ears and go running... but I mean really running?

 

[MikeyC]

They're back together.
He cried and made her 'realise' that her friends are bad. He's going to change.
He can't live without her. Now she's gone quiet on the rest of us.

I'd normally fight until the very last to keep a friend but in this instance I think he's going to decide who she mixes with so the decision is beyond my control.

It's sad but to be fair we've already been gradually drifting apart because of all of this. I was getting tired of her always changing our plans because of something to do with his manipulative behaviour. Now she's willing to stay with somebody who actively calls all her friends every name under the sun, and who sat there seething when people were telling stories about funny things she'd done in the past (before he came along). He clearly hates her being happy about anything that isn't to do with him.

But it's okay, he 'loves' her. Eyeroll.

I am never going to anything in the future where he might be there. I can't even pretend to be nice to something like that whereas before I'd always tried to be polite around him.

Sorry for the rant SPW but I needed to let off some steam.

On the plus side, talk about a good reason to be single.

This is all very lame. I just hope she comes to her senses and dumps that loser.

I need to find a better way to get my anger out. Or I should say, a way that actually works.
My mother's strict up bringing still has me caged in an invisible electric fence, that will zap me if I dare to express my emotions in an "undignified" manner.

I wonder how you can break out of that cage? You are an adult now with your own life, but I know that the way you're raised does have an impact.

 

[Nanita]

It put me such in a good mood when I spend the whole week end doing artworks, I don't know why I only do it once in a while

It´s the same for me. Once I get stuff done, I feel good. But then there are days or weeks with no creativity, I don´t know exactly why, I guess it has something to do with being afraid of my own criticism.