AtTheGates
Banned
i wish i had a time machine so i could go back to the 90's and just chill for a while......but i might not ever come back..haha
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Post your random thoughts/feelings etc
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
It was a dark and frustrating night. :kickingmyself:
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
** 'Twas' a dark and frustrating night...
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
Ah sorry Graybeard. Was tryin my hand at being creative..mg:
And I was being stuffy, pedantic, and a bit prickly. My sincere apologies, Pug. :shyness:
• • • • • • •
I've been yelling at inanimate objects again this morning.
mg:I have no doubt they'll be coming for me any day now.
theslowesthand
Banned
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
Life. :kickingmyself:
Arrogant pushover parents- that don't listen and are unable to discipline particularly disobedient kids that consistently terrorize households, has got to be one of my greatest pet peeves right now. It makes me so mad.
Drop the baby voice and freakin' assert yourself for a change, damnit. They're not taking your seriously. If not for temporary peace of mind, this sort of thing can have strong connotations for their future.
Drop the baby voice and freakin' assert yourself for a change, damnit. They're not taking your seriously. If not for temporary peace of mind, this sort of thing can have strong connotations for their future.
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
This is pretty interesting. I could almost seeing going to church with him as the preacher.
ha yeah...pretty depressed here. World seeming really hopeless
American Bishop Explains How Religion Is ‘Made Up’ & Used To Control People – Collective Evolution
ha yeah...pretty depressed here. World seeming really hopeless
American Bishop Explains How Religion Is ‘Made Up’ & Used To Control People – Collective Evolution
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Should've booked a few Edinburgh Fringe shows for mid-week, rather just at the weekend. It's gettin' kinda borin' just wanderin' about during the week. Mind you, I'm gettin' some exercise and building my stamnia - so cannae really complain.
Should've brung a book with me as well, just so ah could seem like I fit. Gettin' some dodgy looks wearin' these funny t-shirts. But much like last year I'm takin' it aw in ma stide with a good laugh. At least, a few folk are complimenting me on them. So Edinburgh isn't that uptight.
Though, I'd get a hiding if I wus wearing a t-shirt which read: "Glasgow's miles better. Get it up ye!"
Should've brung a book with me as well, just so ah could seem like I fit. Gettin' some dodgy looks wearin' these funny t-shirts. But much like last year I'm takin' it aw in ma stide with a good laugh. At least, a few folk are complimenting me on them. So Edinburgh isn't that uptight.
Though, I'd get a hiding if I wus wearing a t-shirt which read: "Glasgow's miles better. Get it up ye!"
theslowesthand
Banned
"Well I have the beginning for my new novel: "It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times"" :bigsmile:
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GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
Every night I look back on the day and find myself no better than at the beginning of it. I am making no progress, and that means I am falling behind. Entropy is winning, and I am lost. With no hope of ever catching up, I might as well quit before I fall any further behind. Why let the situation get any worse than it already is?
SilentAndShy
Well-known member
Man, so not in tune for work today. But rather not be at home so guess that means I'd be content sat in the library reading a book..
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
I wish I had the energy/ambition/focus/confidence/strength to do all the things I need to do. The list is long, but some people could knock it all out in just a few hours or days. At the rate I'm going, it will take me years. I have no other purpose, no other demands on my time, no job, no relationships, just this endless list of things I have to do. I'm wondering if there's any point to it all.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, I'm in a similar situation, but I'm makin' a start on the list o' things ah want to do. Not attempting to influence ye here, but if you huv'nae go any demands on yer time, why not make a start, eh?
Y'know, give yersel' something to focus on, and a sense o' purpose, no?
One thing at a time if you have to. There's nothing worse than gettin' overwhelmed by the amount o' things ya might need to do.
Kiwong
Well-known member
My experience, just take one small step towards a thing on the list, even if it is to spite despair. And then take another small step, and another, like a snowball gaining momentum.
The thing I realised is that I can't do this alone, and that is why I reached out to family. I'm not sure if you have that option Graybeard, but there are people who will help, who won't judge. On your own chances are high it won't happen.
I'm really lost too, I'm not sure if I will make another day, I'm retreating to the edges of the world of people, and will soon drop of the edge into oblivion.
At the same time I have made progress towards some goals. My place is currently being painted, and new carpets are on order. The option of selling and moving to a new place is a possibility. Just two years ago I was dug into a huge hole of squalor, paranoia and despair that I couldn't see an escape from.
Somedays I get these bursts of hope, they are short-lived between the never ending cloud of fear, anger and despair.
Achieve is a word that gets through in brief moments. My photo website is taking shape, I had a logo done, and the site is being built by a web-designer. This is a huge goal, out of this useless mess of a life I am living.
Once I get a taste of achievement I want more. And I think if I can achieve thatm maybe I can achieve even more
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
Thanks, guys. I'm still trying to do at least one thing every day, however small, but I have to admit there are days when even that is almost too much, and other days when the everyday maintenance things (dishes, bird feeders, etc.) have been neglected too long and these other things, the ones that represent real progress, must be set aside. I can row the boat or bail it out, but I can't do both at the same time.
You're right, Kiwong. Trying to do it all by myself doesn't offer much hope for success. Unfortunately, family is not an option for me. There may be a few people I can reach out to, though, and I've made it my goal for the very near future—today? tomorrow?—to reach out and at least reestablish contact with a few of them. Whether I can get up the nerve to ask them to help me out remains to be seen.
Were you perhaps speaking of professional assistance, though? I've considered that route as well, even checked out a few websites, but the thought of bringing in a complete stranger (or sequence of strangers) is extremely unnerving to me. How is such a person going to react to my eccentricities and all the weird crap in my place? How am I going to respond to having that stranger in my house, sifting through (and judging) the rubble? How will she react to my reaction, and how will I react to hers, and so forth? Around and around I go, stirring the anxiety soup, never getting to the next course.
Congratulations on the progress you've made. It sounds like you've gone from roughly where I am to a place a lot closer to where I'd like to be. I suppose I may have an advantage in that I don't actually own my place, so I'm not responsible for stuff like paint and carpets, and I'm not tied financially to this location. The flip side of that coin, though, is that I live here at the pleasure of my evil, demented landlords, and one good look at the present state of things, should they come nosing around, could have me scrambling to find another place and completely unprepared to do so.
That right there is one of my greatest fears and greatest motivators. Right now, I can't get the sink fixed (or the fridge, the stove, the thermostat . . . ) because I'm afraid the maintenance goons will rat me out to the management (whoever that is this week) and they'll refuse to renew my lease. Where would I go then, and how would I move all this junk on such short notice? I have no idea.
It's all one big thing, really. If I can get someone in to help me, I'll have less mess getting in my way and holding me back, less fear of eviction, less discomfort at having people in my home (exposure therapy), less depression when I think about the state of my life, fewer suicidal urges, more room to breathe, and more freedom to make plans for the future. That's the idea, anyway. First, though, I'll have to grow the stones to reach out to those people I know who might give me a hand, and stones, as any geologist will tell you, grow very, very slowly.