Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

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Hot_Tamale

Well-known member
Why was this family member being mean to you?
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Well...I pay my own bills and buy my own food, go to school full time for my Master's degree, and work full-time at a restaurant right now but the problem is after all is said and done I don't have enough money to rent my own room somewhere. That's what they were mad about and insulted me too for being 30 and still working at a sandwich place + words and swears for not communicating/talking enough. Lots of swears and saying mom and dad won't be able to put a roof over my head forever. Will I be graduate in time and/or find a better paying job before I'm forced out? It's a race to the finish line and whether or not I will win hangs over my head every day.

I don't think we ever get used to being abused we just learn to shove it deeper down into ourselves to deal with it. It is always there. the scars. they never go away.
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Be careful, I speak from experience when I say shoving down emotions cannot last forever. Keep the lid on that bottle locked tighter than Trump's toupee on his head or expect to explode on someone :(
 
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BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
Pacific_Loner said:
Anyone else feels like being their "true self" is not such a good idea because their true self is a stupid c*nt?
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Maybe not stupid, but my uninhibited behaviour tends to make people uncomfortable. Not being great with words, being mega eccentric and being involved in things that the mainstream doesn't indulge in tends to do that.

It doesn't help that I'm equally uncomfortable with them for, funnily enough, the exact same but opposite reasons.


Edit: Also, congrats on your next post being number two-thousand! ;)

PugofCrydee said:
I wish this site had more activity.. I log on each day and it takes less than a cpl of minutes to check out the posts = /
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Yeah - I really miss when you couldn't go by an hour without two new threads and approximately seven to ten new posts appearing. I often worry that there's going to be a day when the forum is just not there anymore due to how low the traffic and use is.

I'm also sad so many of my friends have left without leaving some way to contact them. You never really get that close, I guess, but I miss them.
 
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theoutsider

theoutsider

Well-known member
PugofCrydee said:
I wish this site had more activity.. I log on each day and it takes less than a cpl of minutes to check out the posts = /
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I agree. On one hand, I'm hopeful that the lack of activity means maybe more people are doing well. Realistically though, I think a good number of people have come and gone and only us core users remain. More people will find this awesome forum eventually, some will stay others will leave. I think that's just the nature of forums. I personally think this is one of the best on the internet so, barring that I am miraculously cured of my SA/OCD, I will always be a loyal participant.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
A calm sea does not produce a skilled sailor. We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
R.I.P Joseph Mascolo (aka "bad guy" Stefano Dimera in Days Of Our Lives)

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theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
It's almost like my mind is "not right" when sober (normally). When i have a binge, i can actually feel stuff for a change, and i feel like a different person, as if that's who my real self is. Does anyone else have this experience with alcohol?
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
theslowesthand said:
Most normal people have had life EASY. I didn't. Everything was a battle, swimming against the tide, going against the grain...
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Couldn't have said it better myself. Life's been the very same for me. :sad: And continues to be in many ways.

theslowesthand said:
It's almost like my mind is "not right" when sober (normally). When i have a binge, i can actually feel stuff for a change, and i feel like a different person, as if that's who my real self is. Does anyone else have this experience with alcohol?
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Never had the opportunity to see if this is case with me, due my mum being quite strict about alcohol.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
It's been a shitty week and it's only Tuesday. I wish my parents would get a divorce. There, I said it. I wish they would get divorced and separated because, quite honestly, I have never seen them happier than they are away from each other. I am so sick of listening to the bickering and my mother winding up in tears crying to me and/or talking crap about my father. It's so stupid and it makes me so angry. :kickingmyself:
 
W

w*n*c*a*m

Well-known member
Life would be less complicated if I am not forced to get along with people. I really can't be normal. I am socially incompetent and awkward. I personally have no issue with it. It's my personality. I accept who I am. However, society makes it sooooo soooooo hard for me to be me. In finding a job, even if I can be competent, even if I am willing to learn, even if I can go well in interviews, I still have to depend from others by asking for references. Why can't I just stand for myself??? Why do I need other people to get a job??? Why do I need to force myself to fit in with other colleagues just so I have a good image and get a reference approval.

I'm not a warfreak,I'm not a law breaker, I'm just bad socializing with people. It doesn't mean I can't communicate. I can totally tell you what's in my mind as long as it's in work terms.

I feel so fake and I feel like I'm using others just so I can find another job in the future.

I do know how to make friends. I just hate it when it feels forced just so I can benefit for my own effin survival.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
theslowesthand said:
AMAZING FACT: Whether you truly believe in a fact or a fiction, the effect upon your subconscious mind is exactly the same.


Ps: I wonder if that law is how religion's "having belief" works, where it's unimportant as to whether the religious beliefs are true or not, but only that they are believed (to be true) :question:
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The mainstream media relies on the saying that "If you repeat lies with enough repetition, they soon become truths".

Also explains why a childhood full of degradation and constantly being criticized can result in an adulthood with a deeply destroyed self-esteem, whether you realise the childhood verbal abuse was not actually true or not. :sad:
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
BlueDays said:
Also explains why a childhood full of degradation and constantly being criticized can result in an adulthood with a deeply destroyed self-esteem, whether you realise the childhood verbal abuse was not actually true or not. :sad:
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^ Yep! Sadly I've got first-hand experience of this. :sad:
 
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