telling people

[Chilling__Echo]

since coming to this board, i've seen a couple of people mention that they let people know that they have SA, whereas i'm shocked, the whole reason i worry so much is cuz i'm afriad people WILL know :?:

so, do you care if people know or do you keep it secret (or just one or two people know)?

 

[jourjaune]

Only my mom and sisters know. Once I tried explaining it to a friend and they never talked to me again. They thought I was crazy. So now it's just another fear added to my list of many that someone other then them may find out.

 

[GettingThere]

It surprises me too that some people "come out" so freely. To me it is a skeleton in the closet. To my mind the thing which drives SP is a fear of what others think of you and telling them that you had a problem with your head would be the last thing I would do.

 

[Chrisfishes]

I agree with Getting there. Only my girlfriend knows.

 

[LilMissTragic]

I tell whoever i think needs to know. I'm not ashamed of it, sometimes people find it easier to approach me knowing about it. All my family, my fianc's family and some others know about my SP. Why do you try to hide it?.

 

[hitch]

Yeah, I'm with you, I've never told anyone and don't ever want to, it's one of those things you just feel wasn't sposed to happen to you and your not sposed to be like this, personally I fail to see how telling anyone would help change the situation, you'll just get looked at weird from now on.

 

[LilMissTragic]

Actually people don't look at me as though I'm weird when i tell them. They usually think my behaviour before telling them is odd and when i finally let them know they are usually very understanding. Telling people may not change my SP but people understanding it does.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

well, i don't tell anyone, like GettingThere said, it's my skeleton in the closet. my reason is because i feel like if people did know then they'd watch me, waiting for me to have a break down or something. watching for the very few signs that give me away. but some people have to know like my mom and boyfriend.

 

[Scrabbl]

I guess it's all right if you just tell strangers that you're nervous. So people wouldn't think you're unfriendly or crazy.

 

[LilMissTragic]

Socialphobia makes you act weird, your over compenstating on trying to look normal and cause your trying so hard you usually end up looking weirder so therefore getting more stares. At least by telling people, they know why I act the way i do, they know that at any minute i could run out of the place screaming like a loony...and cause they know, it wont come to much of a shock. I find it amazing at the amount of times people have thought i was arrogant and when i explained my SP they were like ohhhh now i get it and they are cool with it all. In the end its just another type of illness and i find nothing shameful about being this way.

 

[SingaporeGuy]

i shall them about my problem. i want to create an awareness about this problem, a problem not many people know of, at least in my country. that is my mission

 

[MadCat]

And a good mission too. Awareness by other people is one of the important things in recovery as well.

Imagine if no one understand why you are fearful of people...lol

 

[LilMissTragic]

So true, people need to know that some phobias run to the extreme. A lot of people dont have a clue about phobias like ours. It would be nice if the world was a little more undestanding but to understand they would need to be educated.

 

[Fredscars]

Actually people don't look at me as though I'm weird when i tell them. They usually think my behaviour before telling them is odd and when i finally let them know they are usually very understanding. Telling people may not change my SP but people understanding it does.

i have that. i find it much easier if i let people know (those who have to, i dont publisicise (sp) it) that i have SP or at least that im..uncomfortable around people, and have socialising problems. It just means, as lilmiss said that theyre not shocked by what they see, that they know that i have a problem..it excuses how i am i guess.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

wow, i'm so impressed guys, i broke down last night cuz it finally reached a point when i HAD to tell my boyfriend that i was deathly afraid of blushing (this is kind of what fuels my SA, forgot the name for it, but they go hang in hang obviously). he knew i had SA but i can't even say "blushing" or "going red", because of the feelings it evokes. if i couldn't tell him that, there's no way i could tell anyone else.

then again i think my SA isn't as bad as others, i'm not secluded in my house, i have the courage to go to college, etc. in a way i think that if i had alot more fear than i already do have and way more persistence to do the things i want in life, i probably would have to tell people. then again that could make me go the opposite way too... oh well, i'll never know :?

 

[Secret_Smile]

I tell people.

I'm in fear of seeming like a complete weirdo to other people so it's logical for myself to let people know whats going on so they know it's an actual reason for me behaving the way I do, not just me being a pain in the arse for the hell of it. (I get anxiety attacks and run out of lessons for example)

I know some people think thats a crazy way of doing it but its each to their own I suppose.

*My parents know (Mum more so than Dad)
*My teachers at college know (appart from 2 who I want not to know so that they can make me speak in front of the class. I have to get into it.)
*My friends know about it
*Some of my classmates know about it.

 

[ricky]

i told a few of my friends reecenlty but none of them seem to understand in properly n they jus seem to forget n jus ask me to do things n i still have to kinda talk my way out of it n they jus wonder why. I have told my parents but my mum just dont think i have it, even tho i should be the one to know if i have it or not and not her. She just sez y dont u get a job there and things and it really dont make things better.

rick xx

 

[JWH]

Yes, definitely tell people who do notice you're different. I had this extremely extroverted girl in class note repeatedly that I was the quiet one, always making a fuss over my photos when I just wanted to hide. In the end, I just told her straight and it totally changed her attitude. Too late, I realise this now but yeah it does help certain people understand why you don't say much or don't want attention.

The ability to tell people this takes a bit of time, but I started telling people late last year and now I'm almost desensitised to it. It helps though because it's self-acceptance.

 

[maggie]

I've never spoken the words to anyone about my problem, but I assume they know, and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. I couldn't explain it, I don't think, without sounding like a freak. 8O

 

[FruitLooPs]

I've never spoken the words to anyone about my problem, but I assume they know, and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. I couldn't explain it, I don't think, without sounding like a freak. 8O

Yeah i'm the same, my friends are great but i'm pretty sure some of them wouldn't understand it at all. Also telling people makes me feel like its some kind of excuse or something, I mean its not the label its the thoughts that fit the label that are the problem. Before I was diagnosed I still was like this.

I dont want it to be a defining feature of who I am to them, and by telling them I think they would feel pressured into changing the way they act around me or something - which would just make everything strange

My parents know, as does my brother strangley his GF i felt i could communicate well with (online) and one or two of my friends. The rest are way extroverted and just wouldn't understand at all and would be in the "just get over it man" category. :?