why are most women cold?

[bleach]

**** you you don't know what I do to overcome my fears, because I do my best. Simply because I complain doesn't mean I don't do anything.

and yes I've talked to women I don't know.

I just dont go right away and stat hitting on them and I usually try to start off with small talk.

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/why-cant-i-just-say-hi-18096/

Why can't I randomly start a conversation with girls, or anyone? I'm so afraid of violating someone's personal space. It's like forbidden to me.. she has to say it first. but then she might also be afraid of violating my personal space.

If our eyes meet, I might raise my eyebrows. A smile? no maybe it's not welcomed. Neither might a hi be welcomed.

I have to have something in common with her.. I have to be able to establish rapport. I have to be able to bond with her first. How can I though?

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/when-i-have-a-chance-to-talk-to-a-girl-18142/

or it seems like I do.. and I totally miss an opportunity... I get really mad.

Most of the time I don't even see the opportunity.. and perhaps other guys/girls would tell me "go ahead", "talk to her" "she's there for you". How can one just "run game" on a random girl he just spotted, without any sort of common interest to talk about? Without even knowing if there really is some common interest? When most girls would probably shy away from any stranger who says hi to them randomly, unless he doesn't look scary, or ugly?

But in this situation I usually never know exactly how to initiate such "conversation", or "flirting" whatever you want to call it.

I want the girls here to know that just because you expect a guy to flirt or talk with you, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you or doesn't want to. Perhaps he really doesn't know what the F is going on or he doesn't know how to approach the situation.

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/my-viscious-cycle-17254/

With girls.. I feel like until I dont get a girlfriend (or feel like I get somewhere socially) I feel like my life is going nowhere, and until then it's hard to muster up the motivation to do much, and that makes it harder if not impossible to find a girl, and thus my life goes down the drain.

When I DO start to do something... I can easily feel unmotivated again as it will feel like I'm just doing nothing and being worthless.

I feel stuck...

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/whats-the-point-of-going-out-by-myself-15948/

Well.. I could only really go out by myself if I have something to do.

I feel like though if I go out the way most people do, to "have fun" or whatever they do.. I feel like all I'll do is walk around in circles, or stand around by myself, or sit aroudn by myself, moving from place to place because I can't just sit somewhere for too long.. try to talk to some people and then end up being disliked by them.
I'll be the f*cking loner standing off in the corner watching everyone with a slightly mad look.

I'll be twitching or twiddling my thumbs. or trying to hold me neck still when something catches my eye.

I have the next 2 weeks off and I dont know what to do, and if I will go batshit crazy. I can take a vacation but I'll do the same thing as I stated above, of course TRYING to actually do somehting but it wouldn't work for me, beccause I'm not like everyone.

I feel like.. if I try.. I'll go crazy. I might just start crying in public. maybe even destroying things, or myself. maybe dress up like a bum and sleep out on the street.

None of this sounds familiar?

Until you can lose the ego-centrism, take the chip off your shoulder and own up to some of your problems, you will never make progress.

Sorry for actually giving a shit though. I guess I should have given you a cheap pat on the back and say it is everyone else's fault but yours..

 

[no1]

those posts were done a while ago.

I'm making improvements.

Besides I dont know it's hard to just randomly go up to strangers and talk to them about absolutely NOTHING, if you have nothing to talk about. I have tried. I will keep trying. Don't think I haven't done anything because I have. Most people don't even do what I talk about. It's rare for someone to just out of the blue start a convo with someone they don't know unless they have something to talk about.

and if you're thinkin of me going up to a girl like a creep and start hitting on her with no connection whatsoever in the first place Im not doing it. I have to learn small talk first.

 

[no1]

another thing.

You think EVERYTHING is my fault? It certainly isn't. Yeah i have quite a bit at fault for this and Im trying to improve on that. But I can't keep up with the lies our society believes in.

 

[I_Walk_Alone]

those posts were done a while ago.

I'm making improvements.

Besides I dont know it's hard to just randomly go up to strangers and talk to them about absolutely NOTHING, if you have nothing to talk about. I have tried. I will keep trying. Don't think I haven't done anything because I have. Most people don't even do what I talk about. It's rare for someone to just on the blue start a convo with someone they don't know unless they have something to talk about.

Ahhhhh.

Very brave, i'll give you that, but are you sure your not taking too much all in the one stride? You must be emotionally exhausted mate!!

 

[no1]

well.. I have to learn small talk. There's no other way. i don't know what you mean "I walk alone" but I'm trying to pace myself so I don't become too exhausted.

Im working on desensitizing myself.

 

[I_Walk_Alone]

Well what type of person are you? What are your interests?

Start noticing your quarries interests, and zone in on the one you reckon is on your wave-length. That way, once you get going, you probably wont be able to shut the hell up!! lol (in a very good way) ::

You get what i'm saying? Sorry if you dont, its 6:22 down here, and my brain is telling me to wind it down.

 

[Remus]

another thing.

You think EVERYTHING is my fault? It certainly isn't.

I'm afraid it pretty much is, just like my SA is mostly my own doing.

What does your therapist suggest to tackle your issues?