Why do people bully?

[Lord_Spotface]

Having been on both ends of the stick, in my experience, people bully as a result of their own environment, being beaten on and made to feel like you are nothing every day can result in you causing others to feel that way to make yourself feel better. It's the only way you know how when you have pretty much no confidence in yourself at all, and others have shown you how they do it.
I was bullied intensively during highschool by the larger kids, and would lash out at the other socially awkward kids. It was a cycle that ****ed with me as I realised that I was doing the exact same thing that I despised people doing to me and I'm normally not that sort of person. I tried to be better and make peace with the people I'd hurt, it didn't stop what I was getting dealt, but it was a mind clearing experience at least. I'm still abit annoyed that I let myself buy into that ****e but what's done is done and all someone can do now is just learn from it and move on.
It's not just a deal of "Oh the bully is a nasty person" there is so much else that can cause someone to go down that path.
Even a person from a well off family might have some issues of their own that cause them to lash out at others.
Also, fighting back doesn't work. You might beat the bully once but they'll just come back with friends the next day. I've tried it. They just came back again for round two, with others. And you'll just get your **** ruined again and again.
Best thing to do is ignore them, I know it's difficult and they might be carrying on like a bunch of demented apes but if they don't get a rise out of you then they'll just bugger off and throw their feces at someone else.

Edit: that's the schoolyard though. The ones who are adults and still engage in bullying are just dirtbags.
If you've ever hurt someone to make yourself feel better it can go two ways, you can feel really crap for doing it, or you can get a high from it. The people who get high off it are grade A retards.

 

[irish_bob]

Having been on both ends of the stick, in my experience, people bully as a result of their own environment, being beaten on and made to feel like you are nothing every day can result in you causing others to feel that way to make yourself feel better. It's the only way you know how when you have pretty much no confidence in yourself at all, and others have shown you how they do it.
I was bullied intensively during highschool by the larger kids, and would lash out at the other socially awkward kids. It was a cycle that ****ed with me as I realised that I was doing the exact same thing that I despised people doing to me and I'm normally not that sort of person. I tried to be better and make peace with the people I'd hurt, it didn't stop what I was getting dealt, but it was a mind clearing experience at least. I'm still abit annoyed that I let myself buy into that ****e but what's done is done and all someone can do now is just learn from it and move on.
It's not just a deal of "Oh the bully is a nasty person" there is so much else that can cause someone to go down that path.
Even a person from a well off family might have some issues of their own that cause them to lash out at others.
Also, fighting back doesn't work. You might beat the bully once but they'll just come back with friends the next day. I've tried it. They just came back again for round two, with others. And you'll just get your **** ruined again and again.
Best thing to do is ignore them, I know it's difficult and they might be carrying on like a bunch of demented apes but if they don't get a rise out of you then they'll just bugger off and throw their feces at someone else.

Edit: that's the schoolyard though. The ones who are adults and still engage in bullying are just dirtbags.
If you've ever hurt someone to make yourself feel better it can go two ways, you can feel really crap for doing it, or you can get a high from it. The people who get high off it are grade A retards.

being pissed at your dad , poor upbringing , team loosing at the weekend etc , doesnt give you the right to whale on other people , bullys have an inherent nastiness in thier charechter , thats what seperates them from other people who have problems yet dont turn thier anger , frustration on others

 

[mcpon]

Well . . . I'm being bullied right now and have taken this opportunity to study them. I think it is a cry for attention. Bullying is the only way to get attention from someone. Or they have absurd rules about how strangers can treat them such as you cannot accidentally glance at them or be in places that they frequent. To get you to "obey" those things, they bully you. I think the main one (from adults) is that they had done something to piss you off and they don't want you to get them back so they try to keep you at a low self-esteem through bullying because they are afraid of you.

 

[Lord_Spotface]

being pissed at your dad , poor upbringing , team loosing at the weekend etc , doesnt give you the right to whale on other people , bullys have an inherent nastiness in thier charechter , thats what seperates them from other people who have problems yet dont turn thier anger , frustration on others

Whilst I agree it doesn't give someone the right to beat on others, to look at in an "oh they're just nasty people" way is an immature way of looking at it.
There is a lot more to it than just "derp they bad mkay?"
I'm not defending those who do it, as I know first hand it's a terrible thing to have to be a victim of, I'm just saying, there is more to it. Shades of grey, bud, shades of grey.

 

[irish_bob]

Whilst I agree it doesn't give someone the right to beat on others, to look at in an "oh they're just nasty people" way is an immature way of looking at it.
There is a lot more to it than just "derp they bad mkay?"
I'm not defending those who do it, as I know first hand it's a terrible thing to have to be a victim of, I'm just saying, there is more to it. Shades of grey, bud, shades of grey.

not everything is complex , some people really are nasty pieces of work , thats not to say they are serial killers or even granny muggers , they could end up running a country or a corporation but the world is full of mean spirited people

 

[N0D]

One big insight I got into bullying came in my freshmen year of high school. These five or six guys who were friends with each other would always bully anyone that caught their attention and one time after they spent an entire class telling me what they didn't like about me something happened that surprised me. One of the guys I had been good friends with when we were much younger but as we got older we went our separate ways, came up to me after class and sincerely apologized for the other guys behavior and for not standing up for me. I thought it was a really nice thing to do.

I realized that sometimes, maybe most or all the time, people who are bullies, have been bullied a lot, and the act of being the bully is just their defense against being bullied themselves. When I think of it this way, it really helps to not feel such animosity toward people who have bullied me in the past. (well all but one, I'll take one high school grudge to my grave! If he dies before me I will piss on his grave.)

 

[OceanMist]

It's animalistic nature. When an animal feels they are superior to another animal, they will try to put down the animal they think they are better than. As humans, we are also animals.

Our way of bullying isn't always fighting, like many animals. Our bullying can often be socially degrading another person.

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

I've never spent time researching bullying before, so I am probably unable to suggest any potential causes of bullying that someone else has not already mentioned; however, I do want to say something.

Perhaps, being introspective is one of the best ways to deal with the question: "Why do people bully?" What I mean is, ask yourself why you have bullied someone in the past. I believe it is true that everyone, without exception, has been a victim of bullying at least once in his/her life. It is also true that everyone, without exception, has bullied somebody else in her/his life. Everyone on this forum has bullied someone at least once. People who claim that they have never called anyone a name before, or pulled a prank on someone, or teased someone are liars. Even if you did it only once when you were a young kid, you still bullied someone. Of course, I do no think the label "bully" necessarily applies to all of us on this forum. Some people do bully others more frequently and more severely than others, and it is these people that I know everyone on this forum is talking about.

I think that sometimes bullies and victims are not as different as some people think they are. I think the main difference is that for some people, bullying almost becomes a part of their identities, and they do it regularly. The question is why do they do it more regularly and more harshly than others? I think by asking ourselves why we have bullied someone (name calling, teasing, pranks, etc) in the past, we may gain some incite into why other people bully others more regularly and severely. I think this way, we can bridge the gap between the victim and the bully; we will understand the victim, the bully, and their relationship towards one another.

Anyway, these are my thoughts.

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

It's not just a deal of "Oh the bully is a nasty person" there is so much else that can cause someone to go down that path.
Even a person from a well off family might have some issues of their own that cause them to lash out at others.

Well said. I agree with this^^

We can't view the world in black and white. We can't simply divide people into poor victims and nasty bullies. It is always more complicated than that. There are always multiple environmental and social factors that interact with each other which cause people to bully. It's not like bullies are just naturally mean-spirited people. The world is not that simple. People are not that simple. Of course, I am not defending bullies, nor is Lord Spotface. It's just that understanding why people bully makes it easier for everyone to confront and stop bullying.

 

[Srijita52]

I got bullied a lot in highschool but not physically. I think the bullies did it cos they thought it made them look better/stronger. Plus sometimes it was somewhat funny to them.

 

[MercySparx]

They're insecure about themselves, so they attempt to be the "alpha-dog" (both men and women) by putting others down they feel better in comparison. This is only a temporary fix though, as everyone around them gets sick of it real quick.