Would, or have any of you had kids???

[hitch]

Just wondering cuz I went and got a vasectomy, just never want to bring someone in this world that will go through the shit I have, I don't know if genetics is part of this but dad and my grandma have it, although I think they are "unaware" of it, but I see it in them all the time, I figured I'd end the "curse" with me, my worst nightmare would be to look down at someone I was responsible for and see them in that pain.

 

[Andrea]

i have one.

i have one child. a little girl. she's amazing and wonderful,
but i have made a very personal choice to make sure she
remains an only child. it's the right choice for me.

it's hard, because most guys i meet that are MY age or older are just now wanting to settle down and have a child, and they do not understand why an almost 30 yr old woman would only want one. it may be due to the fact that i had very little help from her 'father', and i was never able to experience it in a good or positive way. although i did live with him after she was born, it was horrible and i moved out after only four months. he disappeared after that and hasn't seen her since. (she's 9 now)... but i do have my parents in the area and they helped me out alot. without them, i don't know what i would've done.
(she looks up to my great friend D. as a 'father figure'... and also, she has
her grandpa & her uncle)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[GettingThere]

I have no doubt that there is a genetic connection but I am equally sure that if a child is raised with strong self esteem that he or she will not be burdened with the problem regardless of genetics.

 

[Remus]

I'm a single parent of two kids that live with me.

my kids are 14 and 12 and seem SA free

 

[Scottish_Player]

I would like kids in the future,but i would definetly bring them up diffrent from what i was,not that i was miss treated in anyway i would just try and make sure they are out going and join lots of clubs to get them to interact with people more than i did.

When i was young i always wanted to go to all these clubs and stuff like karate and the likes,but my mum or dad would never take me,there excuse was that i would get fed up with them after a couple of times and i would quit it so i never got to do any that stuff.

Talking of kids, i need to find a woman first

 

[Alexia]

I have a child too . Victor is 6 years old , full of energy and trustful boy . He realise that mammy is scared to live and knows that before we go to play in park mammy have to take some tablets ! This is the reason I'm fighting with my fears and SA : I don't want to be dependent on Xanax or any kind of pils , a kind of zombie without medication ! I hope and pray that this day it is not so far !

 

[Chilling__Echo]

ummm frankly the idea of going through childbirth is terrifiying. the pain, everyone standing around staring at my hoo ha, not to mention the family that will probably crowd in there, i've seen A Baby Story too many times...

 

[MadCat]

I'm not well enough to have look after a child. Even if I did have a girlfriend it would be totally out of the question to be be very irresponsible of me.

Because I'm the last hope for continuing my family genes, eventually I will try to find a mate to reproduce with. The inability to have children results in instant suicide for me. No questions asked!

So it means alot but I am not ready.

 

[hitch]

I'm not well enough to have look after a child. Even if I did have a girlfriend it would be totally out of the question to be be very irresponsible of me.

Because I'm the last hope for continuing my family genes, eventually I will try to find a mate to reproduce with. The inability to have children results in instant suicide for me. No questions asked!

So it means alot but I am not ready.

So you would bring someone into the world just to continue your family line? Isn't that a bit selfish? I mean, you are talking about a person who will have thoughts feelings, etc. Not trying to put you down, just wondering why you would do something like that.

 

[MadCat]

Adoption. It would be just as selfish of me to not reproduce if I have the ability. At least I can leave saying that I didn't doom my family genes.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

it may sound a bit selfish, whether madcat meant it that way or not, isn't that the whole point of reproduction?

then again the other point to it is we all want our genes to live on so our line doesn't die out so maybe so, oh well.

i really don't have an opinion on it, i just noticed that it was interesting how the values we put on life end up modifying the reasons for creating it. i never really thought about the reasons for having a kid.

 

[LilMissTragic]

I don't want children of my own. Its not because of my SP or any other reason, I'm just not maternal. I am however hoping to adopt from china or another poor country in which kids are treated badly in a few years, probably 2 children over the age of 5.
I hate it when people say that I'm selfish for not wanting my own...how the hell do they work that out?...selfish to who???

 

[MadCat]

Often those people think adoption is selfish too. Alot of it comes from people who are strongly religious in some way.

I never meant my post to look selfish but I would not be a guy who reproduces and runs off. As long as my mate agrees to either give the baby up for adoption or raise the kid on her own, then so be it. If one day I am able to raise kids and be a father I will take that option.

If I can't and still can reproduce then I will find someone who is willing to help me fullfil my cause.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

i would love to adopt, and how people equate not wanting your own children being selfish boggles my mind. it seems selfless to me to take someone else's kids in.

 

[Remus]

my two are almost grown up and I'm getting clucky again

what am I like ! :roll:

 

[LilMissTragic]

lol, awww Remus, your quite the little mother hen aint ya...lol

 

[Moonie]

I've always wanted children. It started off with 4, then 3, and now it is down to 2 or 1. There are times when I think that maybe I don't want any, but I guess I should wait and see. I do worry that my children will inherit my overly shyness. I don't want to say SA, because I am not really sure if I have it or not. I think I am getting better. I am still very shy, but I have gotten better since my school days. I am hoping with more time, I will get better and better. I am 22 now, and don't plan to have children for awhile. I will also have to take into consideration of my husbands/partners desires concerning children. If I eventually marry my BF that I am with now, then I have hope, lol. He talks a lot, is confident, and a ham - a total opposite of me! I think it will be okay, when I am ready.

 

[hitch]

I've always wanted children. It started off with 4, then 3, and now it is down to 2 or 1. There are times when I think that maybe I don't want any, but I guess I should wait and see. I do worry that my children will inherit my overly shyness. I don't want to say SA, because I am not really sure if I have it or not. I think I am getting better. I am still very shy, but I have gotten better since my school days. I am hoping with more time, I will get better and better. I am 22 now, and don't plan to have children for awhile. I will also have to take into consideration of my husbands/partners desires concerning children. If I eventually marry my BF that I am with now, then I have hope, lol. He talks a lot, is confident, and a ham - a total opposite of me! I think it will be okay, when I am ready.

Well, what you are saying is my point. Look at your statement and how many times you said "I". When you talk about having kids it shouldn't be about what you (or your B/F or husband) want, you are talking about another person, you should be asking yourself not "Do I/we want kids?" instead "Do our kids want us?", or more importantly "Do our kids want the life that is in store for them?"

Remember, SA isn't the only problem you have to fear your kids getting, what about birth defects, diseases, mishaps in life, ie becoming paralyzed, also, what about other emotional problems, depression, bi-polar, etc, the bottom line, when you have kids you're essentially "rolling the dice" which is OK to do with your own life, but do any of us have the right to do that with someone else's life????

 

[hitch]

Oh, by the way, adoption is a whole nother story, in an adoption you aren't responsible for that person being in the world, somebody else it, you're just now trying to help them out of the ugly situation someone else put them in, which is a good thing, I mean, you gotta believe they'd be better off than in an orphanage.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

ok i deffinately think you are over analyzing the whole thing. giving someone life is a gift, not a punishment. would you deny your potential offspring a potentially great life because you may not think life has treated you well?

even if there is a chance for them to get a disease, everyone's had that chance. and yes there are circumstances to giving them a good life like making sure that whomever is going to be apart of your family (b/f, husband, whatever) that you're all good and well financially and as a partnership.