From around November to early December last year, I've been under this crazy delusion that I was a pedophile, and that I molested several kids in the past. I'm all over it now, but still...it wasn't fun. I was feeling suicidal, I felt terrible about myself, I got banned from my old school and got involved with the police, and worst of all, nobody could understand, because they all thought it was funny or something. Only my parents really cared.
And now I'm wondering: who will pay for this? I want someone else to pay for this. I don't care who it is, but I want them to suffer the same way I did. And I'll laugh about it.
But I know this is just wrong! Cancer patients don't have anyone to suffer for them. No, they have to bear the pain themselves. Likewise, I keep telling myself that I'm just a selfish *******, and that I should just accept that there's no one to suffer for me.
Does anyone else go through stuff like this? I sometimes get fantasies about raging at people, and enjoying it...telling my close ones to just get lost, because they probably won't understand the pain that OCD causes...
And now I'm wondering: who will pay for this? I want someone else to pay for this. I don't care who it is, but I want them to suffer the same way I did. And I'll laugh about it.
But I know this is just wrong! Cancer patients don't have anyone to suffer for them. No, they have to bear the pain themselves. Likewise, I keep telling myself that I'm just a selfish *******, and that I should just accept that there's no one to suffer for me.
Does anyone else go through stuff like this? I sometimes get fantasies about raging at people, and enjoying it...telling my close ones to just get lost, because they probably won't understand the pain that OCD causes...