Others comparing themselves to this or saying they understand

[nicole1]

When I tell people about having a social phobia or having social anxiety, they think that they understand and think that it's the same as being shy and that if I get pass being shy, then I'll be fine.
If you are like me, I bet you've already tried their advice. Trying hard mentally to overcome it but it overcomes you.
How do you explain this to others? Do they ever understand? Am I wrong to assume they will never understand unless they've lived with this?

 

[dottie]

i don't explain it to others anymore. it is up to you to understand your own issues and adapt accordingly, not them. some might understand but even if they do they have their own problems to worry about.

 

[nicole1]

Wow. I bet no one tells you their problems. I can live with that way of thinking almost..

 

[Bustn Justin]

I was scared to talk about my anxiety to others due to the fear of them thinking I am wierd, weak, or whiny. I have kept this a secret for 12 years until I told my buddy about it. It was like I was on one of the talk shows where I was sharing a dark secert and afraid I lose my buddy. The reaction was that he told me that i shouldn't be telling this to my guy friends and with my parents instead. Eventually I was able to talk to a couple of friends who are more understanding and know I want this to change. For me to talk about it was such a relief. It has helped me open myself to others and be myself since I have nothing to hide from them.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

My real older, closer (or we were closer) group of buds from HS, I told 2 of them. Felt good. But thats a lot of history... telling newer friends or potential friends I just... would be hard, relief as may be.

 

[nicole1]

I told my boyfriend and my mother.... They try to give advice... And I just feel they can't get it. A lot of situations have come up in my life and I had to tell someone or I'd break. I actually had a dark period where I was forced to be in a situation, didn't know of a way out, and then I was bullied by darn near everyone. So, when I told someone then, no one understood at all.

 

[Hottie]

Do they ever understand? Am I wrong to assume they will never understand unless they've lived with this?

No not at all. No one will ever understand unless they have been thru it. Some may have an idea becoz anxiety is normal, but our levels of anxiety are abnormal and they will never get this...

People will try and understand, they will try relate but they will never get it, sad tho, why should we feel so alone?

It annoys me a little when people compare themselves and say i understand, becoz they really dont...
...but i put myself in their shoes and try to understand them trying to understand how we feel (duno if that makes sence to anyone!).

Its a lonely thing anxiety is becoz we feel we are fighting this all on our own ::

but we also have to remember that happiness comes from within...our friends and family will not make us happy...we muct make ourselves happy...but how can we do this when there is no happiness in anxiety...its a tough battle

 

[deleted user 1]

Modern society is so dumbed down and one-dimensional that it really becomes infuriating to try and discuss anything with most people. And to make matters worse, the theme for Western society is pride, vanity, promiscuity and aggression. A bad place and time to have this problem.

 

[leave_me_alone]

I dont think they can understand whats going on inside our heads. The common thinking is, that our behaviour is socially unacceptable and it can cloud their judgement. I feel like when i would tell my mother, she would either think like its nothing, just being shy OR she would freak out and think i am mentally retarded (i know, maybe too strong words, but u get the idea).