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- Thread starter nickabcuk
- Start date
Makaylee
Member
All I can say is... Thank you. 
This is a fresh way of thinking of things, and I have a felling that it will help myself and a few other people, i hope!
It is so true that you have to know what you really want, and act accordingly to get those things.
I hope that everyone takes the time to really read this, and learns something from it.
Me, I am actually going to print this, and try to read it everyday. It seems like it is a totally attainable and positive way to take steps to overcome this illness.
Positive and helpful posts like these need to come more often.
Thanks, again.
Makayla
This is a fresh way of thinking of things, and I have a felling that it will help myself and a few other people, i hope!It is so true that you have to know what you really want, and act accordingly to get those things.
I hope that everyone takes the time to really read this, and learns something from it.
Me, I am actually going to print this, and try to read it everyday. It seems like it is a totally attainable and positive way to take steps to overcome this illness.
Positive and helpful posts like these need to come more often.
Thanks, again.
Makayla
lifesnotfair
Well-known member
I have a problem with this because, my choices, which i thought i was taking the right steps towards helping myself, has caused me to feel this way, with number 2, i focus on what i want, but you know there is a point when your focus becomes obsession, and you have something else to worry about
solutions are sometimes worse than the problem is, so... i don't think that these three steps are really going to help when you are stuck in a deep rut that you can not get out of..
Snoopy_Ru
New member
Have read all your words Nick, and I just have to admit it has given me a different view on things, it really inspire me to go out there and achieve the things I want. The words seem so simple, but it's to understand the meaning that can makes the difference. You explained it very well, and just want to thank you for helping me (and hopefully others) seeing things differently!
It really makes a difference...
It really makes a difference...
pitkreet
Well-known member
Excellent post and very well explained. I found particularly useful the solution-focussed, step-by-step suggestion for overcoming perceived barriers.
The follow-up's are equally important as they take typical, everyday examples (eg thoughtless and the exams) and demonstrate where the problematic thought-processes lie and advises on how to "correct" them.
Nick, many thanks for taking the time to visit and post on this forum. Having advice from someone who has first-hand experience of life with SA, and overcome it, is inspirational and an aid to motivation. I find it hard to interact with books, no matter how good the advice, so seeing worthy advice being offered on an interactive forum is of great benefit.
The follow-up's are equally important as they take typical, everyday examples (eg thoughtless and the exams) and demonstrate where the problematic thought-processes lie and advises on how to "correct" them.
Nick, many thanks for taking the time to visit and post on this forum. Having advice from someone who has first-hand experience of life with SA, and overcome it, is inspirational and an aid to motivation. I find it hard to interact with books, no matter how good the advice, so seeing worthy advice being offered on an interactive forum is of great benefit.
countrybumpkin
Active member
Nick , I think you are absolutely right in your philosophy , ( and by the way , you just met a sufferer of SA who doesn't think that his problem is controlled by others) but training the mind to behave differently is a tough prospect indeed. I don't find that people or their actions have much impact on my particular problem , to be honest people generally like me and occasionally women are interested in me . My problem is , in a nutshell , a fear of fear . I have really bad panic attacks and social situations are just one of the things that bring them on , but I liked your set of beliefs and I will also print them out and try , try , try to retrain my brain.Thanks and it is reassuring to hear a success story!
Danfalc
Banned
Hey Nick
This is kind of off topic so sorry,but you seem like you know what your talking about so id appreciate some advice if you can help.Basicaly the situation at the moment is that im majorly crippled by my anxiety in the sence that now i basicaly avoid everything which i feel will stress me out.
Ive been on medication( which hasnt helped in the slightest)for the past year and a half and im due to start cbt therapy,but im sick of waiting for the cbt, i was ment to start like six months ago and im still waiting.Ive decided that it's time to stop relying on the nhs to get me better and i want to start helping myself.
I find all this changing your thinking pattern hard to grasp, and i was wondering do you think perhaps the dr.richardson tape set would be worth me trying out to start to help me get on the right track to being able to cope with this?
This is kind of off topic so sorry,but you seem like you know what your talking about so id appreciate some advice if you can help.Basicaly the situation at the moment is that im majorly crippled by my anxiety in the sence that now i basicaly avoid everything which i feel will stress me out.
Ive been on medication( which hasnt helped in the slightest)for the past year and a half and im due to start cbt therapy,but im sick of waiting for the cbt, i was ment to start like six months ago and im still waiting.Ive decided that it's time to stop relying on the nhs to get me better and i want to start helping myself.
I find all this changing your thinking pattern hard to grasp, and i was wondering do you think perhaps the dr.richardson tape set would be worth me trying out to start to help me get on the right track to being able to cope with this?
Danfalc
Banned
nickabcuk said:
I wish that was the case but sadly it isnt, ive been hoping the nhs will wave a magic wand and make me better,ive also been forcing myself to confront these situations,but ive realised without changing my thought pattern im not going to make much progress.
Anyway thank you for taking the time to reply,im going to look into the book and audio tape set you recomended,ill let you know how i get on.
Thanks again
pitkreet
Well-known member
I'd like to suggest that this thread be made a sticky. And it's a happy coincidence that today, we appear to have moderatos who can make sticky's.
This thread is rich with excellent advice and I suspect that the advice offered here will form the basis of recovery for many people. I fully intend to re-read it regularly and hope that nickabcuk (and anyone else) will be willing to offer additional comment and advice to people who are seeking to follow the steps.
This thread is rich with excellent advice and I suspect that the advice offered here will form the basis of recovery for many people. I fully intend to re-read it regularly and hope that nickabcuk (and anyone else) will be willing to offer additional comment and advice to people who are seeking to follow the steps.
ChrisS
New member
I fully agree with pikreet. This post perfectly sums up the beliefs/habits I have been working on for the past few years.
Nick,
I hope you are still checking this post because I have couple of questions for you.
You said that “I was once too at a point in my life where it felt like my life was empty and overwhelmingly difficult...”. Based on this, I am still unsure whether you actually suffered from Social Anxiety (maybe the normal fears of being naive in the ways of the world, or lazy, etc). Please correct me if I am wrong. I have suffered from SA along with GAD for as long as I can remember. I also had bouts of depression that began surfacing when I was 18 . Have you personally suffered from any or all of these or just the normal fears/pains that most everyone feels during important times of transition in their life?
If your answer is yes to the above, how long did it take you to feel that you had truly beaten it? What I mean is, I have been actively working on the 3 principles you speak of for a few years now. I have definitely come a long way but there are still many instances where I feel that I have very little control of the way my body reacts in social situations (meetings, public speaking, etc). It is like trying to tell yourself to not be scared if you were facing a bear that was about to attack you.
Thankfully, I still believe that I can beat this. I believe that SA is a bad habit that developed over the 30 years of my life from lack of self confidence. Was there any point you had an epiphany while working on solutions? Like one day did your mind and body finally listen and realize there really was no actual threat during social situations. Or was it always a slow, steady change?
Again, I appreciate your post and any advise you can give.
Cheers
Chris
Nick,
I hope you are still checking this post because I have couple of questions for you.
You said that “I was once too at a point in my life where it felt like my life was empty and overwhelmingly difficult...”. Based on this, I am still unsure whether you actually suffered from Social Anxiety (maybe the normal fears of being naive in the ways of the world, or lazy, etc). Please correct me if I am wrong. I have suffered from SA along with GAD for as long as I can remember. I also had bouts of depression that began surfacing when I was 18 . Have you personally suffered from any or all of these or just the normal fears/pains that most everyone feels during important times of transition in their life?
If your answer is yes to the above, how long did it take you to feel that you had truly beaten it? What I mean is, I have been actively working on the 3 principles you speak of for a few years now. I have definitely come a long way but there are still many instances where I feel that I have very little control of the way my body reacts in social situations (meetings, public speaking, etc). It is like trying to tell yourself to not be scared if you were facing a bear that was about to attack you.
Thankfully, I still believe that I can beat this. I believe that SA is a bad habit that developed over the 30 years of my life from lack of self confidence. Was there any point you had an epiphany while working on solutions? Like one day did your mind and body finally listen and realize there really was no actual threat during social situations. Or was it always a slow, steady change?
Again, I appreciate your post and any advise you can give.
Cheers
Chris