Anyone else get offended when people youre not attracted to flirt with you?

Deerhunter

Well-known member
I get more offended when girls I'm not attracted to get upset when I don't flirt with them.
Hate it when that **** happens. They usually just act like a bitch right to my face, even though it shouldn't, that's something that always bothered me.
 

206Raider

Well-known member
Yeah that sucks, tell him your just not interested and give him the friend treatment and tell him there won't ever be anything more than that and if he keeps pressing it then tell him to leave you the hell alone, you don't have to insult him, just let him no that there is no chance and if he can't accept that then he should leave you alone.
 

206Raider

Well-known member
I never asked my friends who gave that girl my number (partially becuase I didn't know who she was) when I was in shool but do you think it's okay for a girl to do what she did to me becuase it's a girl? She got my number and called me everyday and stalked me...
 

combat

Well-known member
Reading all of this kind of affirms my reluctance to approach girls in the first place because I *always* feel like I'm gonna be that "oh no not him why is he interested in me" guy...
 

Tlachtgha

Well-known member
I just want to make something clear here:-

I have no problem with someone wanting to be with someone they find physically attractive - it's a basic human desire I share myself.

It's perfectly natural to reject a relationship with someone you find physically unappealing but it's the incredibly dismissive and derisory attitude many women have towards men they find unattractive that gets to me.
Their motivations and actions are judged entirely differently to those of more attractive men. Interest from an unattractive man is "creepy", "perverse" but precisely the same thing from a Brad Pitt lookalike is wonderfully romantic!
It's so unjust and so debasing to the person misjudged in this way.


Two last points:
1) Of course there are dangerous, predatory men out there who should be avoided like the plague but they're just as likely to be quite handsome as ugly.
2) I wouldn't deny for a second there are plenty of men out there with similar attitudes towards less attractive women but for all the myriad faults men have I honestly believe women are worse in this case.
 

Tlachtgha

Well-known member
Reading all of this kind of affirms my reluctance to approach girls in the first place because I *always* feel like I'm gonna be that "oh no not him why is he interested in me" guy...
I know exactly how you feel. It's actually an insult to some of them that you would dare to show interest at all! :(
 

Tlachtgha

Well-known member
Many, eh? You know this for sure? Have you had extensive experience with many women?
I take it your definition of "many" is different to mine; I'm not claiming this applies to the majority of women.

I mean, didn't you read the OPs description of how this guy pursues her and writes obscene things to her on her facebook?
1. I attempted to make it clear in an earlier post that I was differentiating between the OP's initial comments and the story she went on to relate regarding this person.
2. I should have made it clearer in my last post that my comments were not necessarily to be taken as a direct response to opinions posted on this thread but were far more general.

Yeah, of course. Women are always the worst ones. On one hand, we did bring sin into this world, so I suppose it's not suprising that we're worse than men.
I don't know how you read this into what I wrote. I went out of my way (I thought) to stress that men are far from faultless when it comes to their behaviour towards the opposite sex too.

I have never once laughed at a guy for trying to approach me nor have I
have ever once put a guy down for his looks. Now that I think about it, I have
never treated a man unfairly because I didn't find him attractive.....
That speaks well of you as an individual. It has no bearing at all, however, on the behaviour of some women which was the point of my post.

You think I don't know what it's like to be called 'ugly'? I know
what it's like when a guy pretends he likes me so that he can have a laugh with his friends....
I'm sure you do - there are few of us that go through this life without being offended, scorned and used by other people at one time or another.
Again, I haven't claimed that men have a monopoly on bad experiences with members of the opposite sex or the sole right to complain about them.

If you wish to identify with the weirdos then that's your doing.
You couldn't be more mistaken if you think I'm excusing or identifying with the likes of the individual described in the initial post.
One of my primary points is that it's all to easy to brand certain people as being like that for completely unjustified, often absurd, reasons.



If you found what I wrote overly emotionally-driven and bitter I'll admit it was. But isn't allowing people to express their frustrations and fears on these types of issues and getting feedback from others part of the purpose of a forum like this?
 
OHMYGOD!!! You're a genius.. ill try get one of those DIY tests and bluff it. Then "accidentally" let it fall outta my bag... since i think he's more after somethin sexual than a relationship!
 

Jin

Well-known member
i think its better to say it to him... straight to the point...just to get rid of him because its affecting your social life....and he also trying to ruin your facebook account....
 

combat

Well-known member
Crap!! :(
I feel terrible now... I know how it feels to be terrified to approach someone.

Don't feel terrible about being honest... it's just that it isn't particularly encouraging to read that a girl can be offended by me showing interest and flirting with her. Especially when everyone constantly tells me that flirting is harmless, just do it, blah, blah, blah, yet apparently that isn't always the case. It takes a lot for me to just approach and talk to a girl I like or am interested in. So to initiate flirting is like climbing a bloody mountain. And I have felt the "I am offended that this guy is even approaching me" vibe very strongly in the past, so I rarely, if ever, flirt unless the girl initiates it first, which doesn't happen often to a guy like me.
 

mrb

Well-known member
just block him and tell him first your going to block him and why ....... and having your phone number online not a good idea ....... or just tell him not to bother you so much .... if he keeps on well block him ... maybe he doesnt know hes getting on your nerves , you have to tell him or he might think you like the attention .......
 
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no1

Banned
be glad you have guys who like you.

I'm not that bad looking yet I don't even have less than desireable women who like me.

Stop being so damn shallow too maybe one of those guys are nice you're probably just a damn adrenaline junkie. ie, addicted to adrenaline, which is fear based.
 

no1

Banned
on another level I do understand what you're talking about tho..

Even though I've never had so much as a female of any species show interest in me :)eek:) I've gotten offended when for example Im in a classroom at college, and we're supposed to break up into teams, by ourselves, ie on our own. Of course, I always end up with the old people, or the less than desireable ones.
 
on another level I do understand what you're talking about tho..

Even though I've never had so much as a female of any species show interest in me :)eek:) I've gotten offended when for example Im in a classroom at college, and we're supposed to break up into teams, by ourselves, ie on our own. Of course, I always end up with the old people, or the less than desireable ones.

Maybe shallows too big a word... I do have scarily high standards though... I was always last picked in teams when i was in school, college, and just in general. Kinda hurts when you see two people fighting because none of em want you...



................i really must stop goin' off-topic!
 

mrb

Well-known member
be glad you have guys who like you.

I'm not that bad looking yet I don't even have less than desireable women who like me.

Stop being so damn shallow too maybe one of those guys are nice you're probably just a damn adrenaline junkie. ie, addicted to adrenaline, which is fear based.

bit over the top mate :eek: shes just looking for a little advice
 
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