Helmaninquiel
Well-known member
You are so cute! There is nothing hotter then a guy who is shy and insecure I find.
Has shyness ever made you turn down a woman who wanted you?
- Thread starter italia2007
- Start date
Good to know. Seriously.
bleach
Banned
Please don't troll the social phobes.
mari_13
Member
Once I get comfortable, I can make friends rather easily. I have more guy friends than I do girls though, once a friend starts to see me as something more I regress right back into stage one...like we're just now meeting for the first time. I can't look him in the eyes, I feel like since he's seeing me as more he'll be more aware of what I do i.e. finding all my faults. When you're friends it's nothing, they don't think about the stuff that you do really so I'm alright. But then I get reserved, I get so nervous and in my head that I psych myself to the point where I will literally not interact with them at all.
Then they wonder why I'm acting totally different, I'm sure they think I'm playing games with them which hurts because that's never my intention and then they disappear. Not that I blame them :: so I'm left alone once again because of myself.
For me is similar.... I am friendly and I can talk easy if I know the guy is not interested in my or I dont feel any interest. But if I feel an atraction for the guy or if I think he wants something more. In the first case I lose confidence, want to cry, my voice starts chaking and more. And if I feel the guy wants something more, I close up and put up a mean face and avoid any contact.... I think they think I am a b...
So I think that shyness has made me turn some guys away that liked me...:
:
The Mad Hatter
Member
Re: Its not that easy
I know it's going to be really hard, but you need to at least try to explain where it is you're coming from. People are a lot more receptive to others if you let them a little closer; maybe if you tell her about your anxiety, she'll at least start relaxing a little bit more around you.
And if you don't want to/can't face her in person, I find that writing a letter (while a bit old fashioned) is a great way to express yourself without giving yourself the opportunity to screw up when talking to her.
I guess I just hate to see it when these sort of opportunities pass us by. Do your best, and just have enough confidence to approach her.
I know it's going to be really hard, but you need to at least try to explain where it is you're coming from. People are a lot more receptive to others if you let them a little closer; maybe if you tell her about your anxiety, she'll at least start relaxing a little bit more around you.
And if you don't want to/can't face her in person, I find that writing a letter (while a bit old fashioned) is a great way to express yourself without giving yourself the opportunity to screw up when talking to her.
I guess I just hate to see it when these sort of opportunities pass us by. Do your best, and just have enough confidence to approach her.
Brokenx
1
you are a good looking guy, :I've never had girls being attracted to me...Well not obviously attracted to me, but i seem to have this sign on me saying ''Keep away from me girls!'' because that what it feels like. I feel i have no charisma o'r good looks and body which would make girls be attracted to me. Oh well! Life sucks
:This happened to me today. I don't know her surname I am not even sure about her name. All I know that she in lover course in my faculty. She seems shy and lonely too, always walk alone and don't speak much. But I am too shy to approach her and feel the same emotions that guy in first post said. But I cant be sure if she likes me, we never spoke a word and I cant trust my "love senses" because I had erotomania (delusion that someone loves you). In this case its pretty hopeless because she is shy and even shyer than me.
Yes. Two separate times in a train station. I didn't pursue the opportunities because of my shyness, even though I had indications of their interest in me.
Tempus35
1
I've never had girls being attracted to me...Well not obviously attracted to me, but i seem to have this sign on me saying ''Keep away from me girls!'' because that what it feels like. I feel i have no charisma o'r good looks and body which would make girls be attracted to me. Oh well! Life sucks
Same in most respects, only once did girls ever come up to me and talk to me, sadly I ruined that one. They came up to me in a parking lot and started talking to me, I tried, I shook hands, introduced myself, etc, but soon enough I made excuses and ran off, I still kick myself to this day for that one. Once and only once did it happen, and so yea.
NihilistNoir
Active member
Yea i cant to do it, its so lame cause she pretty much told me to ask her out and then i just tense up and walk away or act awkward like i always do lmao.
teandtoast
Well-known member
For me is similar.... I am friendly and I can talk easy if I know the guy is not interested in my or I dont feel any interest. But if I feel an atraction for the guy or if I think he wants something more. In the first case I lose confidence, want to cry, my voice starts chaking and more. And if I feel the guy wants something more, I close up and put up a mean face and avoid any contact.... I think they think I am a b...
So I think that shyness has made me turn some guys away that liked me...:
Im the same ...like this girl at work whos in my dept who I thinks proper hot whenever she starts to talk to me or anything my words start getin jumbled and I think I go red aswell and just generally seem really embarassed...must be really obvious why ...but any other girl in the dept who I have no interest in I cant talk to to some extent and not seem embarassed at all (although still due to my shyness I have nothing really to say to them)
My other problem is if a girl starts to show real interest in me say in a club I just freeze up I dont have anything to say...like this girl was all over me in this club other week (like this never happens to me and I was like wtf) and kinda froze...I werent that interested in her anyway so
Last edited:
mari_13
Member
So, what if its a girl your not REALLY attracted to..do you think you could kiss, date, have sex then??? Just curious..thanks so much
Well, I think at least you have to have a small amount of atraction.
goldenholds
Well-known member
So, what if its a girl your not REALLY attracted to..do you think you could kiss, date, have sex then??? Just curious..thanks so much
Personally, it is very difficult for me to be intimate with anyone. And because it takes such an effort to do anything, I will only really try if I am very attracted to and emotionally connected with a person. Otherwise it is meaningless and just not worth the effort and I do not bother.
mari_13
Member
You are lucky Goldenholds, for me is the opposite. if I feel an even remote possibility of an emotional connection, I freak out... I haven't been able to have a serious relationship in 7 years :
:secretly awesome
Well-known member
No it's never made me turn down women who want me. This implies that they are the ones propositioning/approaching me.
Falkor
1
Well honestly I turned down a girl who wanted me. ( yes i'm bisexual )
She really liked me, but she is super-social, she knows everyone, for example, she has thousands of friends on hyves (that's a community website) and everytime she has another person with a (L) emoticon in her name.
So that makes me really suspicious. I want someone who really goes a 200 % for me, and not someone who just wants to make some ''fun'' ::
Because many girls just want to experience with girls, like the first kiss etc.
But I want true love. And I don't know what will happen, if my future is with a guy, or a girl, Cuz I'm not 100 % sure what my orientation is. But I will see what will happen
But i'm a bit anxious with super-social people.. ::
She really liked me, but she is super-social, she knows everyone, for example, she has thousands of friends on hyves (that's a community website) and everytime she has another person with a (L) emoticon in her name.
So that makes me really suspicious. I want someone who really goes a 200 % for me, and not someone who just wants to make some ''fun'' :
:Because many girls just want to experience with girls, like the first kiss etc.
But I want true love. And I don't know what will happen, if my future is with a guy, or a girl, Cuz I'm not 100 % sure what my orientation is. But I will see what will happen
But i'm a bit anxious with super-social people.. :
:
DeathMetal
Well-known member
Yes I turned down a girl before because of my shyness. It was way back in middle school. She was the first and only girl to ever ask me out. It made her cry and I felt like such an ass. I still feel bad when I think about it now.
Now I am 31 and haven't had a girlfriend my entire life. I am such a frikin idiot.
Now I am 31 and haven't had a girlfriend my entire life. I am such a frikin idiot.
Last edited: