Has shyness ever made you turn down a woman who wanted you?

Richey

Richey

Well-known member
girls hardly ever/never approach me in the first place so usually it would be me approaching them and that is very rare, i have to really know its a possibility for me to even bother asking but usually they find me too quiet to even know me enough to bother, sad but true.....plus girls want those guys, the types that look like david beckham and have a good solid build aka (the tradesman look) not someone who is skinny etc....

most girls i know have boyfriends and usually they are really cool well grounded guys, they have all the traits you'd expect...

there is no way i'm ever going to meet a girl who is into me, its never happened before and usually the ones i do like already have a boyfriend and they like to discuss how awsome they are...fair enough to.

i've switched off from any of that sort of thing now...
 
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redski

redski

1
DeathMetal said:
Yes I turned down a girl before because of my shyness. It was way back in middle school. She was the first and only girl to ever ask me out. It made her cry and I felt like such an ass. I still feel bad when I think about it now.

Now I am 31 and haven't had a girlfriend my entire life. I am such a frikin idiot.
Click to expand...
Hey my man. At least a girl has asked you out. I am 29 and I have never been asked out :D
 
TooShyShy

TooShyShy

Well-known member
When you get a chance with someone please take it..the only way you can overcome this and and truly be happy is to TRUST someone enough to let your gaurd down. Those are the major issues i think lack of trust and self worth!!!!!


There are women out there who are sweet and kind and very understanding and when you encounter one you need to take a deep breathe and just go for it!!!! Start with baby steps..say hello, ask how her days is..you'll see attractive women don't bite!!! They may be feeling just as nervous and shaky as you are and want the same thing. Its just very sad on both sides of the coin when the feelings are there and nothing can be done. Maybe putting yourself in someone elses shoes could help? Looking at it from her point of view????


I wish someone would explain to me why this crippling anxiety exists for some men in the first place..especially when its around a girl you desire and she feels the same about you???


What could be more perfect then that for anyone, loveshy or not?
 
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Zav

Well-known member
I haven't been in many of these situations, but a couple times I've kinda 'hit it off'. Usually if they're that outgoing to me first, then I feel comfortable enough to talk to them. The hard part is talking to people when you don't know if they're interested or not (and usually they're not, in my case :p).

So I guess my advice is...Just remember, if she's the one coming onto you, remember, she's interested, and that ought to ease you up at least a little bit.
 
planemo

planemo

Well-known member
Well not exactly turned down a girl, but my shyness more or less means I will never approach a girl. ::(:
 
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Littlewilly

Well-known member
Yes there were woman that I think were showing an interest in me but I rather foolishly did'nt c it at the time bcuz I had these secret crushes on other woman who I worshipped from afar.
If only I realised at wat woz happening at the time, my life could've been so vastly different now & I could've been so happy with sum1 right now instead ov a stupid sad ****itude twat at neally 50fuk & really paying the price.
 
X

xsapx

Active member
YES. There was this girl that really want to me my girlfriend in HS but i fell that i am not good enough for her. So i always decline her. I dont want her to deal with my social anxiety.
 
L

Littlewilly

Well-known member
I think sum women have shown an interest in me, im not sure but in the past there have bin women who smile at me & it has bin known 2 talk 2 me even tho in passing. Im not sure, i never bothered 2 find bcause these stupid idiotic never ending crushes got in the way. OOPS!
 
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goldenholds

Well-known member
R3X

R3X

Well-known member
hi,new here....i'm glad that i'm not alone in this frustrating situation...

as per topic,well,there's two women in my life i've turned down cause of my shyness and man,i regret so so bad...if only i could turn back time and i know i can't do that....but currently there's this new girl i'm interested in and there's a problem....the problem is the same with my previous crushes...i can't even f***** smile at "her"!!it's SO GODDAMN frustrating!! i also suck at eye contact...mine(usually) lasts only lasts about 2 secs and guess who's the one looking away first?? yup,ME......so the next time me and her meet again,i've gotta at least effin SMILE...i've been telling myself all sorts of theories on how to do this and that but when i'm in front of her,i forget everything...man why is this so HARD!!!....i dunno if anyone has a similar situation with mine though(problem with smiling/eye-contact to the girl we like)...
 
B

beastie

Active member
I had a friend I sort of dated on and off nearly 2 years and I couldn't let him kiss me. He has a real girlfriend now and doesn't talk to me anymore. The situation is terrible because he was one of maybe 3 people I'm comfortable around. Most people I can't stand to let touch me. This is one one of my main motivations for getting better.
 
Rexus

Rexus

Well-known member
WRITE HER A LETTER AND LEAVE IT FOR HER NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE FEELING! Just leave the letter there explaining your SA. She will want you even more.
 
L

Littlewilly

Well-known member
::(:Yeh! I'm pretty sure it happened to me many!many! years ago when I was 17 & I'd just started work & this girl worked in one of the offices upstairs & I worked down in the mail room & she was walking past the mail room one day & she looked in & smiled at me & I smiled back alittle but for some reason I became alittle anxious but carried on. And 1 day I was delivering mail to her office & she walked upto me & said had I got any change on me so I said no & walked out again. After that I'd tried to actually avoid going into the office where she worked 'why I don't know' maybe I thought she might start talking to me & I wouldn't know what to say to her 'shy socially anxious/phobic etc? & of course they questioned it in the end by saying why don't you want to come in here even if you have nothing to deliver you also have to collect aswell but they we'ernt angry about it exactly but after a while she left the company & I saw her walking down the stairs one day & I let her pass & she completely Ignored me & at that time of course I was totally niave that that could've been the reason that she might've been thinking that she was totally wasting her time with me lol & you might aswell know also that's not the only time this has happened. I could really kick myself now & I'm becoming to feel alittle depressed about how I might've ruined my life chances with someone now. It really hurts sometime. I feel like dying sometimes.
The truth was after she left I didn't become anxious or like saying 'oh! sod it I wish I'd done something abt it now'.It was so many years later on like now I'm relatively an old man that I maybe realising what I've missed out on.
 
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Gift

New member
Sorry to hear that so many other people have these issues. I can totally relate I've never been able to enter into a relationship or even admit to anyone that I fancy them. It's frustrating.
 
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Littlewilly

Well-known member
Having said what I have said of course I was only 17 at the time & it was at a time when I wasn't interested in relationships girls etc because as I probably already said i'd had know previous experience of the above at that time at school etc that I would have not known how to handle it,being shy I would've found it a bit scary. I know it sounds strange when you think that most guys & gals would give there HI-TEETH to know that someone was showing an interest in them but at the time for me it just didn't gell or rather it did & I didn't want it "sucks" but I do believe now as the months unfolded after that that I became more confident to know that females were taking an interest in me & I felt more comfortable with it & started to think well I (especially when I turned 18) suppose i've got to expect this sort of thing now but the following year as said above at 18 I started having for the next unteen years these stupid crushes on people which cutting a long story short sort of ruined my life & amongst other things aswell SUCKS again & again.::(:
 
JonSP

JonSP

Well-known member
Yeah, happened a few years ago now. She was a great girl, but I was terrified at the thought of going out with her!

Recently got back in contact with her, so hopefully something might happen. If only! lol.
 
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TheRadicalAnxiousLefty

Well-known member
A couple of times, actually. My best friend's sister used to have thing for me, but I was fifteen and was not interested. Another girl named Amy also used to like me, but I couldn't stand her. Ever since high school, no girl has been interested in me. Because I have not been around one long enough.

These days, I keep thinking to myself: I should have gone for it. Both times!
 
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