Today I had a dream which reminded me of what happened in the past. I woke up feeling dead tired.
Several years back, I transferred to another school hoping for a new beginning. The first day, I went to my anatomy and phys. class and sat down. There was a group of people sitting far from me and I could hear them looking and talking about me. But I tried to tell myself it's just my imagination because it's my first year there and people don't know me. I remember when I got took out a piece of paper, they would remark that I did so. When I wrote something on it, they would also talk about it. It felt like they were eyeing my every move. Very freaky. I remember i was sitting quietly and there was a girl sitting next to me. While the rest of the people around me were talking, I was quiet. My social anxiety was very high. THis went on for a couple of days.
Afterwards, I got tired of them looking at me and commenting on what I do so I moved towards the bottom seats and sat there. Now, I don't see them and they don't see my face. Problem solved, right? Wrong!!! They kept on talking about me, especially one annoying guy who kept on pointing at me. I remembered after we took our first test, this guy was going around saying loudly that he made a high A (90 something, I forgot) and it's annoying. I think he tried to get my attention, I'm not sure, because he never came up and talked to me. Then his friends started looking at me, asking each other "Is she looking?" And they would say, "Yes, she is." Uh, I sat down there so that I wouldn't have to look at these jerks.
Anyways one day, that guy got angry and his friend started saying "I hate her!" very loudly. I could hear him and feel him looking at me. Soon, the whole class joined in saying they don't like me and calling me stupid. It got to the point where I became the black sheep. All I did was be quiet and study and kept to myself. I don't know what I did wrong.
Eventually, I dropped out of the class. Even though I made an A (a 93) average for the class, I dropped out in the middle of the semester. I was scared. The professor thought I must be crazy for dropping because he asked me angrily, 'Why are you dropping? why are you here?' and I made up some fake excuse.
Guys like them are the worst. When they don't see a girl return their feelings or pay attention to them, they get angry and turn everybody against her. The guy who bullied me was popular, even though he's really not much to look at, so he successfully turned the whole class against me. I've met better guys, guys who are real men; some of them asked me out and I turned them down gracefully. But they don't get angry or go crazy. They understood and moved on.
