Thank you. I'm not quite as bad as yesterday but I feel strangely traumatized by the situation.
Dottie, it's a long story because it's a bit involved, so I apologize, but if you do want to trudge through it...
Yesterday at work first my on-site supervisor (a barista from one of my workplace's other locations) was mildly condescending, to the point where even a customer came to me out of his earshot and told me I was very nice and said she was sorry he was so rude. He was stressing me out but I wasn't overly upset since he seemed content to let me be unless I did something "wrong."
The worse part was when these two girls came in, one a current employee at another location and one a former employee. They had come in before together and everything was fine and we had a normal exchange. Well, this time when they came in I was calling out someone's order and I said it too softly so I said it again a little louder, and I can be loud enough; it's not that I'm overly self-conscious about that, but I'm a smaller person with a "smaller" voice and I think I tend to have to put a lot of force behind my yelling at work. I don't usually have to do a lot of that but sometimes customers forget to come back to the counter to get their stuff.
So anyway, I called out the order and the current employee offers to do it for me, but the impression I got was that she was implying I couldn't do my job. She may work there but she wasn't on duty and she doesn't work at my location, so I felt slighted but too nervous to tell her so, and I awkwardly made an unhappy face and said, "I mean, I GUESS you can..." Not the best response and I guess it came off as bitchy because not long after her friend asks me in a strange tone, "So do you go to school around here?" I said yes and she said where, I answered the college I now attend, and she said "Awww, aren't you CUTE!?" extremely condescendingly. That took me so off guard and I was sleep deprived and had lots of coffee that day to stay alert and so my anxiety went through the roof and I made a face at her and ran away to the other end of the counter. I was so ashamed. Then I came back and the other girl asked to order drinks in an annoyed tone and so I started taking their order and I just started inwardly panicking and I just left the register and ran to the back and tried not to freak out and figure out what to do. And my coworker took care of it but until the girls left and long after that I felt like the most worthless human being in the world, and I cried in the bathroom and the train and for hours at home. And now I feel like a spineless worthless baby-faced doormat and don't want to live.
And I'm afraid I'll have to see both of them again as customers and possibly have to work with the current employee because sometimes they schedule you to work at a different location. And I don't know how I'll handle that, probably will just be mistreated and feel like shit and be too afraid to do anything.
The end
