How are you feeling?

this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
Anxious about going out tonight, for some reason. I keep coming up with as many excuses as I can to stay home (and there aren't many). Just have a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach about it... Maybe I shouldn't have eaten anything.

I'm trying to scale back a bit on Klonopin, but I resorted to taking one a moment ago just to try and get rid of this anxious feeling.
 
GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Very, very angry, tormented, twitchy, close to losing my shit. :kickingmyself:

Every time I think things are settled, they come up with a new, incredibly stupid, and dishonest way to stir things up again. They're trying to drive me completely out of my mind, and it's working. I can only hope to be dead in my grave before my current lease runs out, because I don't think I can renew it again without ending up in the state asylum for the criminally insane.

Nothing I can do tonight since I don't know where they live (which is good for everyone).

Monday . . . :bat:
 
this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
Going out was a good idea after all. Two people talked to me (though I could barely hear them over the music). I didn't leave with any new numbers in my phone, but it was a little progress.

Despite a dilemma I'm going through, I'm satisfied so far.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Quite depressed... Well, ah did just watch a documentary about loneliness.
Hard viewing when ye cun relate. :sad:
 
worrywort

worrywort

Well-known member
I have a friend who got married a year or so ago, and he keeps inviting me round for dinner or a movie or games, and to spend time with his wife and kid, but I just don't want to and I feel so guilty and conflicted about it. I keep making up excuses, fairly honest excuses mind, I said once that I was in hermit mode and just didn't feel up for coming round for dinner. But I'm wondering if I can really keep this up forever!? Why do I have to meet his wife and kid? He's moving to America in a couple years, so that's why I'm thinking, why bother. And I think I'm just gonna keep it that way tbh. If he asks again, I'll just be honest and say, I don't really want to come round your house and play games and meet your wife and kid. I find most social situations draining, and that one sounds particularly challenging. I know it's not really the done thing. Most people would go and meet there friends new wife and kids. But I'm not like most people. I'm a loner and have no real need for them. That probably sounds so cold, but that's really how I see it. But am I in the wrong in anyway? I hope not. I hope I'm entitled to feel this way.
 
this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
I definitely feel like I'm being ignored. There's someone I've been trying to talk to, and I think it's evident they don't want to talk to me even though they haven't come out and said they don't (actions speak louder than words). This is making me feel so sad right now...
 
S

spider04

1
Having 5 days off before school starts again. The thought of it felt very good at first but I don't have much to do to entertain myself and the weather hasn't been so great these days so I'm mostly inside. I feel really bored at times.
 
nodejesque

nodejesque

Well-known member
worrywort said:
I have a friend who got married a year or so ago, and he keeps inviting me round for dinner or a movie or games, and to spend time with his wife and kid, but I just don't want to and I feel so guilty and conflicted about it. I keep making up excuses, fairly honest excuses mind, I said once that I was in hermit mode and just didn't feel up for coming round for dinner. But I'm wondering if I can really keep this up forever!? Why do I have to meet his wife and kid? He's moving to America in a couple years, so that's why I'm thinking, why bother. And I think I'm just gonna keep it that way tbh. If he asks again, I'll just be honest and say, I don't really want to come round your house and play games and meet your wife and kid. I find most social situations draining, and that one sounds particularly challenging. I know it's not really the done thing. Most people would go and meet there friends new wife and kids. But I'm not like most people. I'm a loner and have no real need for them. That probably sounds so cold, but that's really how I see it. But am I in the wrong in anyway? I hope not. I hope I'm entitled to feel this way.
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You're definitely untitled to feel that way, just as he will be entitled to feel hurt by your honestly.

I can relate to how you feel because i sometimes get invites for functions, and i always bail...

A couple of years ago, i was waiting in line to say for something, and on the phone with a good friend of mine. I was rejecting her invitation to go out... i always did. The lady in line behind me, spoke up after i hung up... and she told me that i should make the effort to go just as they make the effort to invite me again and again. That is because sooner or later t he invites will stop coming, my phone will stop ringing and i would have wished to have something to do or someone to talk to. Because they truly do stop trying to include you.

At the time, i thought... well good. I dont want to go anywhere. However, now.... im glad that i made an effort with the closest people around me. The invitations are not as many, and i still dread going but once i am there.... even if its just for an hour or two... im glad i went.

Im not saying this so that you will go and meet his family, because as you said.... he is moving anyway. However... in your position i would go for one dinner as a thank you for at least trying to reach out.
 
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Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Y'know how ah said ah wus feelin' quite depressed afore?

Well, eh, that mood has suddenly changed because me an ma oldest sister managed to get me intae and out of the passenger seat o' her car. Right knee brace tight as buggery, and plaster casts on baith legs from the knees down. And intae ma wheelchair... Yes, get in! Ya f***in' dancer!

Transfer from my wheelchair to the car an back again as quickly as possible. Duckin' tae make sure ah dinnae hit ma heid off the passager side roof

And am gittin' tha plaster casts off completely in 2 weeks times
yahoo.gif


Buckin'
yes.gif
we'll manage to tha hospital withoot the ambulance transporting me this time around. Not that ah huv nuthin' but praise as far asthe ambulance service in Dumfries and Galloway is concerned.

An there wus me ponderin' how me an ma sister were gonna get me in tha car. :thinking: When we're were baith on tha same page for once. Looks like am gan tae that comedy gig in Carlisle efer aw... So happy right now. Well chuffed. :D
 
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Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Just hud a massive argument/rant wae ma mum. Telt her if she gonnae continue acting like the "Stupid, idiot, c**t" as she thinks everybuddy treats her like. Playin' tha victim cuz tha wimmin ma life are great at that. But then they put oan this fake lovin' front as am the bad guy aw tha time.

So ah telt her if she's gonnae act like that then she cun pack her bags an F*** OFF!! Cuz ah huv hud enough uh her negative attitude. Ah cannae pit up with it anymair. It make me feel irritated.

Now, ah know us Scots can be just dour-faced, pessimistic f***ers at times. But no, aw tha f***in' time... F***in' hell!!

Like ah really need some dour c**t bring me doon efter huvin expensive surgery. :veryangry: :kickingmyself:

So, how should ah deal with this yin, folks? Huh?! At the moment am pretty much immobile til ma physio starts.
Comtemplatin' gan on the lash and gettin' drunk? Or endin' masel'?
 
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GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Lonely, isolated, trapped, tired of life. Ugly, too. It's hard to have much of a life when you can't show your face in public most of the time. I used to be a good-looking, well-dressed dude. How did this happen? :confused:
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
GraybeardGhost said:
Lonely, isolated, trapped, tired of life. Ugly, too. It's hard to have much of a life when you can't show your face in public most of the time. I used to be a good-looking, well-dressed dude. How did this happen? :confused:
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Me too. :sad: But ah've felt like that fur a long time noo.

Though, am tryin' to kinder to masel an no pit masel doon as much. Tryin' be a wee bit positive.

And ugly, you? :confused: Gray, gimme a f***in' break,eh? Aren't you the same auld fella who was rockin' a Rick Rubin meets ZZ Top style beard? Cuz it looked cool as f*** when you posted that pic of yersel here a while back. And ah hope ye huv'nae shaved it but kept it. Gave it a wash an a wee trim.

Also ye weren't that bad lookin' either - if ah recall correctly. :thumbup: Just sayin', like...
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
How are you feeling?

Like blowing this world up, save the planet and animals, but the humans need to go.

No wait.. we are special and unique ???

I am so confused! Save me Jebus! *massive eye roll*
 
GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Graeme1988 said:
And ugly, you? :confused: Gray, gimme a f***in' break,eh? Aren't you the same auld fella who was rockin' a Rick Rubin meets ZZ Top style beard? Cuz it looked cool as f*** when you posted that pic of yersel here a while back. And ah hope ye huv'nae shaved it but kept it. Gave it a wash an a wee trim.

Also ye weren't that bad lookin' either - if ah recall correctly. :thumbup: Just sayin', like...
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No one ever gets it, and I don't know how to explain. It's so hard to talk about. Photographs . . . reality . . . the camera doesn't always capture the whole truth. If you could meet me in person and see what I see, I think you'd understand.


MollyBeGood said:
How are you feeling?

Like blowing this world up, save the planet and animals, but the humans need to go.
Click to expand...
Yes, please. :thumbup:
 
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