My boyfriend has social anxiety disorder and I am completely overwhelmed by it. I have researched the disorder and am trying to understand it but it’s just so difficult to live with. I am a very sociable person and love going out and meeting new people, but my boyfriend Will hardly ever take me out (very rarely when its something he wants to do, or that’s how it seems) and despite being together for 2 years has still not met my parents as he says he cannot imagine a more awkward situation. He will go out and socialise with his friends and go to functions with them, which in turn made me paranoid about myself...is it me he does not want to be seen with??? I have said this to him and he gets frustrated and thinks I don’t care or understand what he feels like. This has caused me to become depressed and I feel like his negativity is rubbing off on me massively. I just don’t know what to do to help him get through this. My train of thought is positive mental attitude will get you through difficult situations and that we all go through situations we don’t want to and feel uncomfortable with, but we do it. I know this is the wrong attitude to have and will sound like I am selfish and not attentive to his problems and needs, but I can’t help it, I am very sympathetic and patient with him but It’s so frustrating to live with. I love my boyfriend very much but every symptom of this disorder is grinding our relationship down. He will lie in bed for days on end. Refuses to even try to get a job, Is negative about everything, I understand these are all symptoms of the disorder but I don’t know how to deal with this. It feels like sometimes he uses it as an excuse not to do things. He says that he does not feel emotions like excitement anymore and everyday is just dull which he says comes from the medication and that makes me feel like I can’t make him happy. We have a very loving relationship and when we are alone together everything is perfect. But a relationship can’t survive with just spending time alone together, especially as I am craving social interaction with him. He won’t meet any of my friends which poses awkward questions from them and I have to go to events on my own while all my other friends bring their boyfriends. It’s very lonely sometimes even though I could not ask for a more loving caring person to be with. He refuses to allow me to socialise with him and his friends and won’t even admit that he has a girlfriend to them, as he says it will be awkward. I feel as though he is embarrassed of me and when I confronted him with this he says its is his anxiety of people asking him questions etc We discuss our future and he will say things like he will never get married like a big white wedding because he couldn’t face the situation. I can’t imagine being him and having to deal with all this going on inside my head on a daily basis and sympathise immensely, however I can’t help thinking inside 'just do it'. I feel like my boyfriend is selfish as we never do anything I want to do and feel awful for feeling like this as I know he cannot help it. But it seems like my happiness and general state of mind is suffering also. I would never say half the things I have written here to him, as I have touched on it sometimes and the response is always greeted with aggression and frustration at my lack of understanding. But I am trying. If anyone has any advice or has lived with someone with this before please please please please respond. I am at a loss at what to do. He has attended cognitive therapy and said it was a waste of time and said that because he did not want to talk about it with the therapist he played down his feelings etc and in turn she basically said there is nothing wrong with him. If only she had asked me I would have had some one to vent to and inform of his difficulties. I have no one to share this with as my boyfriend is VERY embarrassed by this and would hate the thought of me telling anyone. I need some advice on coping with this as I feel like my life is constantly on hold because of this disorder. I accept my boyfriend for who he is but need to know how to help him and me get through this.