Like a total failure. Ugh, I just delivered a project. It was supposed to be a group project. I had to do everything by myself (and I mean everything) since my group mate kept staring into the void instead of actually doing something. It was a very laborious project, so I couldn't make it all on my own, I needed at least one more week.
"But I don't know how to do it", he said....well guess what: Me neither, but at least I made an effort and tried to.
It turned out pretty bad. It's not finished and it's full of bugs. I asked the lecturer about the evaluation components, and according to what he said, I did enough to pass, but I'm paranoid I'll end up failing because of other unexpected bugs or misinterpretation of what he said. Besides, there are two lecturers evaluating and I don't know which one will be grading my project.
The thing is: if we fail I'm gonna feel guilty about it, because I couldn't do it and my group mate will fail because of me. Of course he didn't do anything, he just kept staring at me while I did the whole thing, so I can't be to blame, but my twisted mind makes me feel guilty all the same. It's one of my worst fears: being detrimental to a group.
This just makes me think I'll never be a competent individual and I can't take that.
Sorry for the rant, I know this is a support site, but I always feel bad opening up, I don't want to annoy people here.
I don't know when I'll get the results, but I'm guessing in about a month. I'll go nuts.
With all this stress and anxiety my OCD is back again.
: *hugs*
