How are you feeling?

[neardeath]

Hi-Why don't you challenge yourself and go against what you have so often done and loathed yourself for doing and Go for a change? Then all of the sudden you will no longer be in the mode of self talk that you "always cancel on the ones you love."

I am often amazed at how simple one act of doing something we thought we were always going to do, or not do in your case, can immediately erase so much negativity we have about ourselves.

The problem that instigated my last statement is that with all the kindness and patience I can muster, it seems like a few friends are not able to hear me when I make my needs known, or, and I hate the word, set boundaries.

I need all that energy to deal with my close family and a few old friends, and they're really all I can handle right now.

My 90 year old Mom is coming for four nights this week and she has Alzheimer's. Then the next week I have to drive to Pennsylvania with my son and hopefully come home with my grandson, whom I haven't seen in three years. Emotionally charged stuff, and I'm about to get the whole load in one month.

It's overwhelming and there's a lot of past history with failed attempts to see my grandson. It's my biggest trigger right now to the depression and anxiety.

Plus, when he gets here, he's a young man of 11-1/2, and he was still a little boy when I last saw him. The SA even extends to these closest relationships. Don't get me wrong, he loves me unconditionally and tells me so. He is smart, fun, and funny. He never complains. I am just so unsure of myself as a human being. This is a sad disease. Thanks for the challenge! You helped open the floodgate.

 

[MollyBeGood]

NearDeath,

Oh wow I am really sorry you have so much on your plate all at once-why does this always happen in the hottest month of the year too? It's same for me.. all this stress and pressure to be social lately and I want to stay in a cool, dark room in the basement and listen to music instead
You sound like a great member of youre family who does a lot for everyone, hats off to you! pLease take time to take care of yourself and try to remember to take deep breaths and find time to recharge yourself so that it doesn't get too overwhelming emotionally for you. Have an ice cream cone and watch your favorite movie or listen to soothing music.
I hope you have a nice time with your grandson, too. Kids need their Grandparents in their lives. I really am glad I knew mine, though I wish we were closer, they are all gone now.

Vent here anytime! We are all in the same boat

 

[MikeyC]

The problem that instigated my last statement is that with all the kindness and patience I can muster, it seems like a few friends are not able to hear me when I make my needs known, or, and I hate the word, set boundaries.

I need all that energy to deal with my close family and a few old friends, and they're really all I can handle right now.

My 90 year old Mom is coming for four nights this week and she has Alzheimer's. Then the next week I have to drive to Pennsylvania with my son and hopefully come home with my grandson, whom I haven't seen in three years. Emotionally charged stuff, and I'm about to get the whole load in one month.

It's overwhelming and there's a lot of past history with failed attempts to see my grandson. It's my biggest trigger right now to the depression and anxiety.

Plus, when he gets here, he's a young man of 11-1/2, and he was still a little boy when I last saw him. The SA even extends to these closest relationships. Don't get me wrong, he loves me unconditionally and tells me so. He is smart, fun, and funny. He never complains. I am just so unsure of myself as a human being. This is a sad disease. Thanks for the challenge! You helped open the floodgate.

Your grandson will love you and I hope you two have a great time together. He's too young to understand what you go through but maybe when he's a little older you can explain to him why you see him infrequently.

Good luck with everything, neardeath!

 

[MikeyC]

I feel great. I had a massive workout at the new gym I joined, I'm listening to music on my new stereo, and I had minimal anxiety making a phone call to an automotive place I've never been to on a road I hardly travel on to get my car serviced!

CONFIDENCE

 

[upndwn]

I've been on sick leave for the last couple of weeks due to a period of mania and depression. I'm suppossed to get back to work tomorrow, but I have come down with a cold and a fever so I'm feeling kind of crappy right now.

 

[Dinosaur]

Angry,mad,sad... My roller coaster ride of depression has had a lot of dips lately. I really don't like who I am at the moment. Wish I wasn't trapped in my own head

Oh well,hopefully I will feel better tomorrow

 

[neardeath]

NearDeath,

Oh wow I am really sorry you have so much on your plate all at once-why does this always happen in the hottest month of the year too? It's same for me.. all this stress and pressure to be social lately and I want to stay in a cool, dark room in the basement and listen to music instead
You sound like a great member of youre family who does a lot for everyone, hats off to you! pLease take time to take care of yourself and try to remember to take deep breaths and find time to recharge yourself so that it doesn't get too overwhelming emotionally for you. Have an ice cream cone and watch your favorite movie or listen to soothing music.
I hope you have a nice time with your grandson, too. Kids need their Grandparents in their lives. I really am glad I knew mine, though I wish we were closer, they are all gone now.

Vent here anytime! We are all in the same boat

Thank you for all the encouragement. Somehow, it's all going to work out.
In the midst of car problems, however, it will be a challenge this month! I do not like traveling like I used to. Wow, am I old or what?

 

[neardeath]

I feel great. I had a massive workout at the new gym I joined, I'm listening to music on my new stereo, and I had minimal anxiety making a phone call to an automotive place I've never been to on a road I hardly travel on to get my car serviced!

CONFIDENCE

Well, some people have all the luck! :bigsmile:

Hey, thanks, Mikey.

 

[Nanita]

I feel a migraine coming. I´m trying to make it go away.

On a brighter note, I just experienced a small success: I managed to open the door when the door bell rang, and there was my landlord asking me a simple question which I answered easily without getting all nervous and weird, and he was being totally nice and friendly and ahh it just feels good.

 

[planemo]

not that great, but i'm trying to keep it together. my family are fighting amongst themselves and even though it has absolutely nothing to do with me, my dad keeps giving me looks of scorn and i know he's saying demeaning things to me but under his breath. why? because i choose to stay out of their way, since i know it only leads to conflict. :sad:

 

[Graeme1988]

Shite... just buckin' shite! :sad:

 

[MikeyC]

Well, some people have all the luck! :bigsmile:

Hey, thanks, Mikey.

I make my own luck.

not that great, but i'm trying to keep it together. my family are fighting amongst themselves and even though it has absolutely nothing to do with me, my dad keeps giving me looks of scorn and i know he's saying demeaning things to me but under his breath. why? because i choose to stay out of their way, since i know it only leads to conflict. :sad:

I'm sorry. Family infighting is never a good dynamic.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

I really want to take a bath right now... But when I try to get off this bed,I can feel the coldness of the surrounding and it dreads me just thinking of water... even hot water isn't good enough coz it doesn't stay after I turn off the shower :crying:....

 

[spider04]

I got the "YOU ARE TOO QUIET" from a really beautiful girl today, of course I'm feeling depressed now.

 

[Ciel]

SO sad my friend was hit by a car today on her way to my house and she has a concusstion

 

[S_Spartan]

I feel like I have nothing left to give...

 

[this_portrait]

I am sleepy, yet awake.

 

[Graeme1988]

Tired n' irritable. Ah didnae get a great deal o' sleep last night, or the night before. Thinkin' too much, it's aw went a bit Operation Mindf**k, tae be honest. Tryin' tae maintain ma "Too nice" pushover persona. :kickingmyself: Listenin' tae the mair logic part o' ma brain. The "Hi, you! Shut yer gob or ah'll perform keyhole surgery on ye wi' f**kin' key! Awright?!" part o' ma mind. Keepin' masel' in check in other words, no speakin' oot o' turn, if ataw. Nane o' this tell-it-like-it-is BS.

Other than that ah wish ah hud the confidence tae be taken seriously, instead o' constantly contradicted n' made fun of. Oh, well! That's ma life, ah guess. Laughed at, but not with... :alone: :sarcastic:

 

[neardeath]

Tired n' irritable. Ah didnae get a great deal o' sleep last night, or the night before. Thinkin' too much, it's aw went a bit Operation Mindf**k, tae be honest. Tryin' tae maintain ma "Too nice" pushover persona. :kickingmyself: Listenin' tae the mair logic part o' ma brain. The "Hi, you! Shut yer gob or ah'll perform keyhole surgery on ye wi' f**kin' key! Awright?!" part o' ma mind. Keepin' masel' in check in other words, no speakin' oot o' turn, if ataw. Nane o' this tell-it-like-it-is BS.

Other than that ah wish ah hud the confidence tae be taken seriously, instead o' constantly contradicted n' made fun of. Oh, well! That's ma life, ah guess. Laughed at, but not with... :alone: :sarcastic:

Hey, friend. We take you seriously. Good thoughts going out to you!

 

[vj288]

It's a Fiona Apple kind of day.