What types of people make you withdraw into your shell?
- Thread starter Man on the Moon
- Start date
IGotSeoul
Well-known member
This one woman I helped move.
She went to college for two years and then worked her way up some corporate ladder; very alpha businesswoman-esque. Her conversational skills were strong, she made direct eye contact, her handshake was solid, she spoke clearly. She wasn't even rude, just extremely confident.
I've met other people like her, befriending a couple, but she specifically sticks out and I have no idea why.
Aside from that event, I'm generally more withdrawn around loud, outspoken, and confusingly spontaneous people.
She went to college for two years and then worked her way up some corporate ladder; very alpha businesswoman-esque. Her conversational skills were strong, she made direct eye contact, her handshake was solid, she spoke clearly. She wasn't even rude, just extremely confident.
I've met other people like her, befriending a couple, but she specifically sticks out and I have no idea why.
Aside from that event, I'm generally more withdrawn around loud, outspoken, and confusingly spontaneous people.
vexatiousmind
Well-known member
^ this.
I'd like to add that I absolutely love funny people, if someone can make me laugh I automatically feel way less anxious.
I'd like to add that I absolutely love funny people, if someone can make me laugh I automatically feel way less anxious.
Number32
Active member
I just love to talk to people that keep talking on and on.
It makes me have to talk less, and not to worry I can't come up with a subject.
Maybe you should look at it from this side more often. :
:
Also no problems with arogant people as I can't stand them and often quickly tell them to stop cocking about. ^^
People that do withdraw me into my shell though are friendly people which I seem to have a connection with. As soon as they tend to get in my "friendzone" I just block/jam. The same with girls... I can talk to them without any problems but as soon as I even maybe start to like them I can't get a single word out of my mouth. I hate it...
It makes me have to talk less, and not to worry I can't come up with a subject.
Maybe you should look at it from this side more often. :
:Also no problems with arogant people as I can't stand them and often quickly tell them to stop cocking about. ^^
People that do withdraw me into my shell though are friendly people which I seem to have a connection with. As soon as they tend to get in my "friendzone" I just block/jam. The same with girls... I can talk to them without any problems but as soon as I even maybe start to like them I can't get a single word out of my mouth. I hate it...
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black_widow
Well-known member
people that are verytalkative and also people that dont say much aswell.
i think i need a good even balence, someone that talks - not too much not too little
i think i need a good even balence, someone that talks - not too much not too little
nothingtofear
Well-known member
people who said anyone who appears arrogant, self-centered, combative, egotistical, judgmental, etc. I feel the same
and those who said people who talk way too much, some of those people drive me nuts but it depends on what they're like and what they're talking way too much about... it's nice that the more they talk, the less I have to.
also, I'm one of those people who talks way too much... not all the time, I talk way less than normal sometimes and waaay more other times (I think I'm might have asperger's). I feel like I never have anything to say when nothing needs to be said most of the time and hate small talk but then out of nowhere I go into lecture mode and can talk for 15 minutes straight... or 45... or several hours. I hate that point when I realize it's not a conversation, that I'm just talking and they're just listening and I start to wonder if they're wondering why I'm talking at all...
and those who said people who talk way too much, some of those people drive me nuts but it depends on what they're like and what they're talking way too much about... it's nice that the more they talk, the less I have to.
also, I'm one of those people who talks way too much... not all the time, I talk way less than normal sometimes and waaay more other times (I think I'm might have asperger's). I feel like I never have anything to say when nothing needs to be said most of the time and hate small talk but then out of nowhere I go into lecture mode and can talk for 15 minutes straight... or 45... or several hours. I hate that point when I realize it's not a conversation, that I'm just talking and they're just listening and I start to wonder if they're wondering why I'm talking at all...
nothingtofear
Well-known member
that balance is something I lack. I'm naturally inclined to be one extreme or the other and I hate it. I've been making an effort to force myself to talk not too little or too much lately but it's hard to make myself talk and the odd time have to try and refrain from talking too much I feel like that filter in my head turns into a dam and everything that doesn't get through starts piling up rather than disappearing
MaliceInWickedland
Well-known member
People who are obnoxiously loud, excessively talkative, shamelessly confident, arrogant, attractive, or who stare at you for no apparent reason always make me withdraw into my shell.
dancingintherain
Well-known member
any girls who dress too nicely, too perfectly because they always seem to have a problem with me..very judgmental
_Hope
Well-known member
After my upbringing with an abusive Dad I find being around men who are dominant and alpha male type as it seems aggressive to me and it brings back feelings of needing to defend myself and be on my guard even though I know its highly unlikely anything will happen.
Since my self worth is so low I find being around attractive people very difficult especially if its a guy and I'm with my g/f. Feeling that everybody is better really makes me uncomfortable when attractive men are around as it makes me think why on earth is she with me when she could be with someone so good looking and not some ugly git like myself. Being around attractive women really makes me go into my shell and curl up into a ball as I don't feel good enough to talk to them, thankfully my g/f was understanding with my problems.
Obviously arrogant, self absorbed, inconsiderate, loud/centre of attention type of people, people who secretly judge though I'm sure alot of that is my own paranoia, super funny people who make everybody laugh. Errrrrrrrrmmm who else lol... I think that will do.
Conclusion
I withdraw and am uncomfortable around quite a few people lol I obviously need to get over it as everybody is different and there will always be people around who's traits don't sit well with me or cause my anxiety to increase it's a fact of life.
Since my self worth is so low I find being around attractive people very difficult especially if its a guy and I'm with my g/f. Feeling that everybody is better really makes me uncomfortable when attractive men are around as it makes me think why on earth is she with me when she could be with someone so good looking and not some ugly git like myself. Being around attractive women really makes me go into my shell and curl up into a ball as I don't feel good enough to talk to them, thankfully my g/f was understanding with my problems.
Obviously arrogant, self absorbed, inconsiderate, loud/centre of attention type of people, people who secretly judge though I'm sure alot of that is my own paranoia, super funny people who make everybody laugh. Errrrrrrrrmmm who else lol... I think that will do.
Conclusion
I withdraw and am uncomfortable around quite a few people lol I obviously need to get over it as everybody is different and there will always be people around who's traits don't sit well with me or cause my anxiety to increase it's a fact of life.
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it's not really what types of people, more what types of behaviour/energy/communication...
I can tolerate and like very different types of people sometimes, depending on energy, some only for short amounts of time lol or with specific strategies
(eg if they're too energetic/talkative/negative/over-happy when I'm not, I may have limited amounts of energy and may need some time away on my own or with other people to 'balance')
hmm, if people get too enthusiastic about me... or too judgemental/criticising too much yeah... or if they might go into 'grenade'/'tank' (aggressive or passive aggressive or 'victim') mode or accuse me of things that are not true etc. Or if they ask too much, especially if about things I'm not comfortable talking about...
or if they seem too different in chosen/current lifestyles and interests etc.
if people 'hit on me' - or ignore me (or both, in intervals lol) or if I don't feel like they're giving me 'space'...
if I'm confused, or hurt, or afraid to hurt them or them to hurt me... if I feel like I'd have to be walking on eggshells and watch what I say/do too much...
if I'm angry with someone or feel they might be angry or disappointed with me... or the situation feels awkward...
if I feel they wouldn't respond well to what I might have to say...
if I don't know what to say... lol
I can tolerate and like very different types of people sometimes, depending on energy, some only for short amounts of time lol or with specific strategies
(eg if they're too energetic/talkative/negative/over-happy when I'm not, I may have limited amounts of energy and may need some time away on my own or with other people to 'balance')
hmm, if people get too enthusiastic about me... or too judgemental/criticising too much yeah... or if they might go into 'grenade'/'tank' (aggressive or passive aggressive or 'victim') mode or accuse me of things that are not true etc. Or if they ask too much, especially if about things I'm not comfortable talking about...
or if they seem too different in chosen/current lifestyles and interests etc.
if people 'hit on me' - or ignore me (or both, in intervals lol) or if I don't feel like they're giving me 'space'...
if I'm confused, or hurt, or afraid to hurt them or them to hurt me... if I feel like I'd have to be walking on eggshells and watch what I say/do too much...
if I'm angry with someone or feel they might be angry or disappointed with me... or the situation feels awkward...
if I feel they wouldn't respond well to what I might have to say...
if I don't know what to say... lol
Loud people people with big mouths definitely makes me very uncomfortable. Actually, anyone who feel the need to raise their voices and sound intimidating (whether it's intentional or not) pretty much make me uncomfortable. I can't stand people like that. Don't care if they're just very opinionated and confident or whatever excuse they have - I can't stand them.
Another thing that makes me uncomfortable and insecure is people who constantly make jokes about you. Although I can take a joke from a friend/someone I trust, I don't like being joked about by people I don't know, and who I am 100% certain aren't joking to be mean.
Another thing that makes me uncomfortable and insecure is people who constantly make jokes about you. Although I can take a joke from a friend/someone I trust, I don't like being joked about by people I don't know, and who I am 100% certain aren't joking to be mean.
