Can't get a girlfriend? Come to the dark side

[Nervous]

What is with the hostility towards someone who is trying to be a positive force on these dead forums?

No one is forcing you to read his threads, all hes trying to do is help.

I agree. He's one of the best posters on this site.

 

[Nervous]

HAHAHA, you know the lingo eh?

Yes I sarge

I used to approach girls more but in the past year or so I've lost all confidence and really haven't been trying.

 

[newbie]

I used to approach girls more but in the past year or so I've lost all confidence and really haven't been trying.

which makes it all worse when comes time to retry

 

[SickJoke]

I used to approach girls more but in the past year or so I've lost all confidence and really haven't been trying.

Damn, that shit is frustrating when it happens.

Thing is, when I have a relapse and feel like shit for a week or something, I've noticed that I come out the other side that much stronger and more determined. Emotional pain leads to emotional strength, that's why I think the guys on this forum, and all of us who struggle(d) with social anxiety, have SO MUCH POTENTIAL!

 

[Nervous]

Damn, that shit is frustrating when it happens.

Thing is, when I have a relapse and feel like shit for a week or something, I've noticed that I come out the other side that much stronger and more determined. Emotional pain leads to emotional strength, that's why I think the guys on this forum, and all of us who struggle(d) with social anxiety, have SO MUCH POTENTIAL!

Yeah I think people who are able to deal with social anxiety and other disorders are emotionally stronger than those who go about life without any crazy thoughts in their head.

 

[Nervous]

It seems like only men are replying to this thread. I know there are women on this site. It would be interesting to hear their opinions as well.

 

[newbie]

Yeah I think people who are able to deal with social anxiety and other disorders are emotionally stronger than those who go about life without any crazy thoughts in their head.

exactly man! if we as sufferers end up being the guy whos got lots of friends, ends up being asked to lots of parties just being ontop of our social network and when any social surprise comes up

then we will be king with another side to our personalities that will make us more intersting then to your average joe

 

[ripewithdecay]

I happen to have an older brother who is extremely good with women, naturally. Over the years he has flicked me a tip or two on how to pick up women. When I read the Game and started dabbling in the whole PUA world, almost all of the stuff he told me was confirmed one way or another. I don't think it's bullshit at all, but it certainly takes an assload of effort to get anywhere with it, and I think too many people are just plain too negative and too lazy. I should know, I'm one of them. But not for long.

 

[Riiya]

It seems like only men are replying to this thread. I know there are women on this site. It would be interesting to hear their opinions as well.

Since you asked.

I haven't read the book and I don't generally like to comment on a book I haven't read, but since we're getting 10 pages while no one other than the OP seems to have read it either.

Thousands of guys are out in nightclubs getting laid using this material. The art of attraction has been scientifically explained. And it can be learned.

Knowing that thousands of guys do indeed use this book to get laid pisses me off. I've spent half of my life trying to convince boys that they don't have to be these so-called "alpha males" to find a girl and be in a proper relationship (In fact, this is what one of the editorial reviews says: I never dated Neil Strauss, but I dated guys like him. Like many New York women, I have always gone for balding, pale guys because they're grateful and good in bed.), and then threads like this show up.

As has been mentioned, you can't be who you're not. What this book seems to do is make you feel inadequate when you're in fact a functioning human being. What kind of "social skills" are you expecting to learn from a book about a pick-up artist anyway? Women, first and foremost, are people. You don't need any special skills to talk to them and get along with them, provided what you want is a real girlfriend and not someone who just want to be in bed with. If your problem is that you have no social skills at all (that, and social anxiety), I'm almost sure this book won't be of much help to you. Also, a book that tells you what women want? Yeah, hmm.... if there was a similar book about men I personally wouldn't buy it, but to each his own.

One thing I've been wondering, of course, is what kind of women exactly are you lonely male folks hoping to find? From all the complaints I've read from self-proclaimed "nice guys," I've been getting the impression that they often desire someone who may be mistaken for a porn star while refusing to even consider their "nice girls" counterparts. I don't care what evolutionary psychology has to say about the natural quest for the "best" genes, but what goes around comes around, Mister.

This stuff is not about "manipulative" tactics. This is what guys who are naturally good with women DO without even knowing it. It's been broken down to a science so the not-so-lucky guys can learn it and have a chance at a little thing called LIFE.

Yeah, well, guys who are naturally good with women are probably assholes without even knowing it.

To find someone that's really compatible, it takes lots and lots of relationship experience: trial and error. This means approaching lots of different women, which is basically asking someone with social anxiety to go through hell. Yeah, lots of emotional pain is involved with the process, but if you get good at it, lots of sex is involved with the process too. It's basically a trade: emotional pain for sex, and possibly love.

What a load of crap. If you want lots of sex, just say so.

Edit: Notice the reaction of the three girls who have bothered reading and replying to this thread. Does that not say something?

 

[cosmosis]

Very well said Riiya.

Relationships are extremely natural once you just become open to it in a honest way. I had my most deepest and rewarding relationship without any experience. Repeat -ZERO experience. What works for someone else doesn't have to work for you either. What about our focus on our counterparts out there that don't like or require big Alpha males? Anxiety or not, I wouldn't want the women that this works the best on.

Sleeping wth lots of women requires a lot of trial and error and experience if that's what you want. But a simple deep relationship is as natural as anything in this world.

 

[Havocan]

I've not read through the whole thread but managed to spot "pick up artist" somewhere, probably in the opening post. That's utter nonsense, not at all a "science" and certainly doesn't work for everyone.

 

[SickJoke]

Knowing that thousands of guys do indeed use this book to get laid pisses me off.

It pisses you off that guys are improving their lives and learning how to interact with women?

I've spent half of my life trying to convince boys that they don't have to be these so-called "alpha males" to find a girl and be in a proper relationship (In fact, this is what one of the editorial reviews says: I never dated Neil Strauss, but I dated guys like him.

Then you, like most other women, have been giving them the wrong advice. Women are, by nature, attracted to alpha male characteristics. Some of those characteristics are:

1. Connects well with people
2. Is well-groomed
3. Is seen as the social center of the room
4. Conveys confidence
5. Conveys a sense of humor
6. Smiles

Like many New York women, I have always gone for balding, pale guys because they're grateful and good in bed.), and then threads like this show up.

As Neil clearly displayed, the tools can be learned, and looks are not the important issue.

As has been mentioned, you can't be who you're not.

No, but you can improve yourself. That is the purpose of the book.

What this book seems to do is make you feel inadequate when you're in fact a functioning human being.

No, just inadequate at attracting women.

What kind of "social skills" are you expecting to learn from a book about a pick-up artist anyway?

How to attract women.

Women, first and foremost, are people.

Of course.

You don't need any special skills to talk to them and get along with them, provided what you want is a real girlfriend and not someone who just want to be in bed with.

This point has been raised already, and it's simply NOT TRUE! A guy with no clue how to interactive with girls is NOT going to get a girlfriend until he learns.

If your problem is that you have no social skills at all (that, and social anxiety), I'm almost sure this book won't be of much help to you.

How are you so sure? Thousands of guys would beg to differ.

Also, a book that tells you what women want? Yeah, hmm.... if there was a similar book about men I personally wouldn't buy it, but to each his own.

Yeah, to each his own. To those who want to be helped, this is the resorce.

One thing I've been wondering, of course, is what kind of women exactly are you lonely male folks hoping to find?

The same that every other man is instinctually drawn to: beautiful women.

From all the complaints I've read from self-proclaimed "nice guys," I've been getting the impression that they often desire someone who may be mistaken for a porn star while refusing to even consider their "nice girls" counterparts.

This stuff enables guys to get the women that they want. Who they want is their choice, they don't need to be stuck with one type of girl.

I don't care what evolutionary psychology has to say about the natural quest for the "best" genes, but what goes around comes around, Mister.

Whether you care or not, it's true. "What goes around comes around"? This thread is intended to help guys... I can live with that karma.

Yeah, well, guys who are naturally good with women are probably assholes without even knowing it.

Are you serious? You're calling anyone who's good with women an asshole? Is a woman who's good with men an asshole too? What a sexist remark...

What a load of crap. If you want lots of sex, just say so.

If a guy wants lots of sex, this will help him get it. If a guy wants to find the girl of his dreams and get married, this will help him get that too. It's up to the individual to choose how he uses these tools.

Notice the reaction of the three girls who have bothered reading and replying to this thread. Does that not say something?

Yeah, it shows they have no idea what they're talking about

 

[Blueberry]

SickJoke, I think you rock. As a woman, I have to say I am attracted to men who are honest and straight forward. Just tell the truth and enough with the bullshit. Bullshit is a real turn-off.

 

[SickJoke]

I've not read through the whole thread but managed to spot "pick up artist" somewhere, probably in the opening post. That's utter nonsense, not at all a "science" and certainly doesn't work for everyone.

Well I've not read through your whole post but managed to spot the word "nonsense" somewhere. That's what I think of your post: nonsense

It's evolutionary psychology. This stuff can be broken down and learned by anyone.

 

[SickJoke]

SickJoke, I think you rock. As a woman, I have to say I am attracted to men who are honest and straight forward. Just tell the truth and enough with the bullshit. Bullshit is a real turn-off.

Thank you!!!

 

[SickJoke]

What about our focus on our counterparts out there that don't like or require big Alpha males? Anxiety or not, I wouldn't want the women that this works the best on.

An alpha male in contemporary society doesn't have to be a big bodybuilder. It's the alpha male personality characteristics that women are attracted to.

Sleeping wth lots of women requires a lot of trial and error and experience if that's what you want. But a simple deep relationship is as natural as anything in this world.

It's not natural to someone with no social life. Successful relationships require relationship experience, just like anything else in life.

 

[SickJoke]

Everyone needs to be taught how to interact with women. Many people with SA never really learned the techniques like the others did. The others learned how by trial and error growing up... whereas many with SA were too afraid to ever even try.

But the point is... everyone has to LEARN social interaction skills. This is not "manipulation" because it's simply telling you what most of them (socially able with girls) already know and learned. So if you didn't learn them before.... the OP is sharing a way for you to learn them NOW. Better late than never, right?

EXACTLY! Thank you!!!

 

[SickJoke]

I happen to have an older brother who is extremely good with women, naturally. Over the years he has flicked me a tip or two on how to pick up women. When I read the Game and started dabbling in the whole PUA world, almost all of the stuff he told me was confirmed one way or another. I don't think it's bullshit at all, but it certainly takes an assload of effort to get anywhere with it, and I think too many people are just plain too negative and too lazy. I should know, I'm one of them. But not for long.

Haha tell them man. This stuff works

 

[rand0m_guy]

Even though I know the OP had positive intentions with this thread, as soon as I saw the title of it I knew it was going to go down like a lead balloon.

When people are in the depths of there SAD, as it seems the majority of people on this site still are, things like this can seem a million miles away from being able to implement them into their life's, and as such, threads like this can come across somewhat patronising, even though it wasn't intended to be that way.

Whether you want to call it a skill, art, or science, doesn't matter. The fact is that it has already worked for those that can put it in to practice, and as such, it's not really open to discussion as to whether it can help people or not. It already has.

I think this info can be very helpful for those who's SAD is less acute/better than it once was, and are looking to improve there skills around women. For those who don't come into that category (probably most people here), don't flame the man for trying to help. Obviously if you're still in the midst of your SAD, then this would certainly be jumping in the deep end.

Even if only one person thinks (which it seems they already have) 'y'know, I'm a little better with my SAD these days, and this information could be useful to me at some point', then the thread has served its purpose.

 

[SickJoke]

Even though I know the OP had positive intentions with this thread, as soon as I saw the title of it I knew it was going to go down like a lead balloon.

When people are in the depths of there SAD, as it seems the majority of people on this site still are, things like this can seem a million miles away from being able to implement them into their life's, and as such, threads like this can come across somewhat patronising, even though it wasn't intended to be that way.

Whether you want to call it a skill, art, or science, doesn't matter. The fact is that it has already worked for those that can put it in to practice, and as such, it's not really open to discussion as to whether it can help people or not. It already has.

I think this info can be very helpful for those who's SAD is less acute/better than it once was, and are looking to improve there skills around women. For those who don't come into that category (probably most people here), don't flame the man for trying to help. Obviously if you're still in the midst of your SAD, then this would certainly be jumping in the deep end.

Even if only one person thinks (which it seems they already have) 'y'know, I'm a little better with my SAD these days, and this information could be useful to me at some point', then the thread has served its purpose.

Thank you!!!

Look guys, the anxiety doesn't go away until we do something about it. Before you know it, 10 years can go by and nothing will have changed. I KNOW SAD ****ing sucks, trust me I know. It makes this shit 1000 times harder, but it CAN be done.

This stuff opened my eyes to a whole new world, I just want the rest of you to have that opportunity. When learning this stuff, it is ASSUMED that you will be DEATHLY AFRAID of approaching a woman. It provides clear steps to take you from that stage, to someone who has PLENTY OF OPTIONS with women. The path is laid out in front of you. It's a painful road. Would you rather go through the pain and lead a satisfying life, or go to your death bed full of regret?