women being "attracted" to "badboys"
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I dont know about all that. But I agree, "badboys" and the girls who like them are ****ing lame.
Danfalc
Banned
I think Rodox nailed it here...No1,why bring a topic up if your not prepared to hear other peoples opinions.Im sorry but you do take these things way too serious..and things aren't always as black and white as you make out.
I mean dont bad boys deserve love aswell?lol okay that was a joke but define bad boys..a bad boy can just be a bit of a rebel,could just be someone who has that i dont give an eff attitude.They dont all have to be woman beating assholes.And you cant give people grief for being attracted to certain things just because you dont fit that criteria.
no1
Banned
yea but they are content thinking that these types of relationships are just for show and end up sneaking out because they start to believe that goodness is "too boring" because they are ADDICTED to DRAMA.
no1
Banned
Difference between arrogance and confidence. True confidence doesn't appear arrogant. Most people don't get this. Like I said before.... it's not just ANY type of confidence that women should be attracted to. "oh it doesn't matter as long as you are confident". That's not right... what if a guy was simply confident that he could play with your freakin mind and and stab you in the back and you would be dumbstruck because of this "appearance" to you. What if he's just confident that he can lie to you and you'll believe it. What if he's just confident in that he doesn't give a **** whether he violates you, or does you wrong?
Wow...
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Cynic
Well-known member
Until the badboi gets tested when he's not around his crew and it turns out that he's actually a wuss.
Exactly, and if she gets battered by her badboi, don't come running to me.
Precisely.
Not good for who? You'll find that its good enough for badboi and his bird.
What do you mean by the right confidence?
Well go and tell him that to his face then.
True.
Those two sentences contradict each other, and if they are manipulative, they do, as Psychedelicious said, have the power of mind control too.
I wouldn't argue with that.
Nicholas
Well-known member
This thread is full of generalizations and stereotypes. Yes, some women are attracted by badass guys, but some guys are attracted by slutty girls or "dumb blondes" as well. Why? Maybe for the same reason children often want the latest toy they have seen on TV, even if it's useless and they hardly use it once they have it. I guess that all boils down to the human desire to show off, which seems to be widespread.
But of course, not everyone is the same! And I still hope I'll find a girl who's attracted by ME although I suck and not by jerks, because I know there are still girls who prefer nice guys around, I know that for sure.
But of course, not everyone is the same! And I still hope I'll find a girl who's attracted by ME although I suck and not by jerks, because I know there are still girls who prefer nice guys around, I know that for sure.
DASwife
Well-known member
I think that if you post a bulletin or whatever, you should probably be prepared to hear dissenting opinions from yours, and that you should be ready to deal with that. And not blow up when people disagree with your (stereotypical, at the very least), opinion.
Why do you keep assuming that women are these weak minded creatures that are just setting themselves up to get smashed by "brute force" in a relationship? These days, for each "bad boy" you find, there's an equally "bad girl". Hell, all through high school I was the "bad girl" and a lot of "nice guys" went for me. Why? Mainly because its a fact of social science that people tend to to be attracted to mates that have something they themselves are lacking.
Thus, you get "bad guys" going for "nice girls", "bad girls" going for "nice girls", shy people matching up with extroverts, etc. I'm sure you can see how this would serve an evolutionary purpose, as these traits combined together would make more diverse offspring. And how it serves a relationship purpose as it would become very monotonous to be with someone who is pretty much yourself. If you're shy, and with an adventurous person, for example, they would probably try to get you out of the house more, and get you trying new things, which would only make your bond stronger. You would appreciate that person more, and they would appreciate the fact that you appreciate them. Relationships are not as black and white as you try and make it seem, I'm sure you'll realize that one day.
But I'm sure for now you'll go on thinking that they are, and I am probably just wasting my breath. Honestly, I think your posts reek of that same "bad boy" attitude you keep railing against. But that's just my humble opinion.
Be easy and take care!
Why do you keep assuming that women are these weak minded creatures that are just setting themselves up to get smashed by "brute force" in a relationship? These days, for each "bad boy" you find, there's an equally "bad girl". Hell, all through high school I was the "bad girl" and a lot of "nice guys" went for me. Why? Mainly because its a fact of social science that people tend to to be attracted to mates that have something they themselves are lacking.
Thus, you get "bad guys" going for "nice girls", "bad girls" going for "nice girls", shy people matching up with extroverts, etc. I'm sure you can see how this would serve an evolutionary purpose, as these traits combined together would make more diverse offspring. And how it serves a relationship purpose as it would become very monotonous to be with someone who is pretty much yourself. If you're shy, and with an adventurous person, for example, they would probably try to get you out of the house more, and get you trying new things, which would only make your bond stronger. You would appreciate that person more, and they would appreciate the fact that you appreciate them. Relationships are not as black and white as you try and make it seem, I'm sure you'll realize that one day.
But I'm sure for now you'll go on thinking that they are, and I am probably just wasting my breath. Honestly, I think your posts reek of that same "bad boy" attitude you keep railing against. But that's just my humble opinion.
Be easy and take care!
Argamemnon
Well-known member
Any evidence? Do you have a link to studies? It certainly doesn't apply to me, I'm not at all interested in women who have something that I'm lacking.
no1
Banned
yea I realize I got a little overboard in this thread. I apologize. And since yesterday I have realized quite a few things about myself. Like for example I haven't been too realistic when it came to the standards I put for relationships, because of the ideas I had about sexuality in general. Not just with women but with men too I thought.. everyone was whorish, and that sexuality is messed up which made me reject all of sexuality in general.
I guess.. it has made me crazy to think about anybody a man, women taking advantage of a one another in a cruel way, sadistic or masochistic way. It had made me get offensive. As I've shown.
regards all
I guess.. it has made me crazy to think about anybody a man, women taking advantage of a one another in a cruel way, sadistic or masochistic way. It had made me get offensive. As I've shown.
regards all
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no1
Banned
I think that if you post a bulletin or whatever, you should probably be prepared to hear dissenting opinions from yours, and that you should be ready to deal with that. And not blow up when people disagree with your (stereotypical, at the very least), opinion.
Why do you keep assuming that women are these weak minded creatures that are just setting themselves up to get smashed by "brute force" in a relationship? These days, for each "bad boy" you find, there's an equally "bad girl". Hell, all through high school I was the "bad girl" and a lot of "nice guys" went for me. Why? Mainly because its a fact of social science that people tend to to be attracted to mates that have something they themselves are lacking.
Thus, you get "bad guys" going for "nice girls", "bad girls" going for "nice girls", shy people matching up with extroverts, etc. I'm sure you can see how this would serve an evolutionary purpose, as these traits combined together would make more diverse offspring. And how it serves a relationship purpose as it would become very monotonous to be with someone who is pretty much yourself. If you're shy, and with an adventurous person, for example, they would probably try to get you out of the house more, and get you trying new things, which would only make your bond stronger. You would appreciate that person more, and they would appreciate the fact that you appreciate them. Relationships are not as black and white as you try and make it seem, I'm sure you'll realize that one day.
But I'm sure for now you'll go on thinking that they are, and I am probably just wasting my breath. Honestly, I think your posts reek of that same "bad boy" attitude you keep railing against. But that's just my humble opinion.
Be easy and take care!
Oh yea I forgot you are like a new agey follower of "left handed tantra".. whatever that means to you.
Anyway there are some things I agree with you on and others I don't. When you say things like "it's natural for a good girl to seek a bad boy".. that's like a projection of your beliefs.
People seek for what they lack, IF they do so. That's part of the "illusion" people believe in. No person should IN REALITY look for a "bad boy" but people have come to believe that this is attractive in THIS SOCIETY. It's just a concept that is "of This world". People have lived illusions. There are many lies in our mainstream media, in our books ever since the beginning of humanity. Do you think we are alone in this? We have to evolve.
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no1
Banned
It's like.. in this society good is made bad and bad is made good. Literally..
like for example.. crime. Now ideally crime should be bad. if you break the law there should be a penalty. But what if you do good AND you break a law? What does this say about our society and the way it lives and it's beliefs? It's contradictory.
So why even look for a "badboy" if that concept is a concept "of This world" when you can use a better expression for a man it can just confuse things. In reality a badboy being good should not really exist. At least, ideally.
If you want to call your man a "badboy" then go for a revolutionary person who actually fights for good even when other people may see "bad" (perhaps because of misconceptions) when really it is good, and perhaps the "law" is just an "unenlightened" law.
So when the "badboys" in this society become widely attractive and popular.. people actually start to believe that Actual bad men are attractive. Because it's a meme which can confuse you and there have been more than one definition of "bad boy" in this society.
Now this applies to "badness" in any category. people call things which are bad, as being good. attatch sexual attraction and there you have it. Bad is good.
like for example.. crime. Now ideally crime should be bad. if you break the law there should be a penalty. But what if you do good AND you break a law? What does this say about our society and the way it lives and it's beliefs? It's contradictory.
So why even look for a "badboy" if that concept is a concept "of This world" when you can use a better expression for a man it can just confuse things. In reality a badboy being good should not really exist. At least, ideally.
If you want to call your man a "badboy" then go for a revolutionary person who actually fights for good even when other people may see "bad" (perhaps because of misconceptions) when really it is good, and perhaps the "law" is just an "unenlightened" law.
So when the "badboys" in this society become widely attractive and popular.. people actually start to believe that Actual bad men are attractive. Because it's a meme which can confuse you and there have been more than one definition of "bad boy" in this society.
Now this applies to "badness" in any category. people call things which are bad, as being good. attatch sexual attraction and there you have it. Bad is good.
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no1
Banned
When you are practicing your 'left handed tantra'... Like anyone who practices any "left handed" practice.. it doesn't mean you just do evil or bad things. You do things which may appear as evil or bad by society but really are not. And it's really to transcend illusions OF good and evil. Or you simply transcend such concepts of good and evil with "power". When people talk of things "good or evil" they really may just mean things that may hinder of help them in his or her goals.
Conceptually there are such things which are good and bad for each of us that we consider bad for us. They may be scientifically founded too.. for example if you fall off a very high cliff and you will not survive, you will die. Anyone who uses a concept such as good and bad doesn't have to be "unenlightened" it's just simply not one of our goals and we don't want it.
Conceptually there are such things which are good and bad for each of us that we consider bad for us. They may be scientifically founded too.. for example if you fall off a very high cliff and you will not survive, you will die. Anyone who uses a concept such as good and bad doesn't have to be "unenlightened" it's just simply not one of our goals and we don't want it.
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Cynic
Well-known member
Indeed.
Whose law? The law is man made, by a small group of people (many of whom are "badbois") among the higher echelons, primararily their own interests, and is selectively enforced on the behalf of the aformentioned people. The law also varies over time and place as does morality.
Exactly.
no1
Banned
Manmade laws yea. but if for example a true law of science can't be broken.
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DASwife
Well-known member
Who is calling anyone unenlightened? And who is doing evil things? I certainly am not, so I'm not sure what you are trying to say? What I don't get for certain, is why you are referring to me as "new age". I'm not even sure what that is, exactly, I'm a Hindu, which is about as "old age" as you can get lol! I suppose if you didn't know what you were talking about though, it would make sense that you automatically assume the age old practice of tantra is "new agey".
"it's natural for a good girl to seek a bad boy" I don't believe I ever said that. So why would you put that in quotes? That's called making stuff up, and I don't quite appreciate that. I was explaining, since you seem to be so sure (as evidenced by many of your posts), a possible reason for this bad boy/good girl thing. I'm guessing (once again based on your posts) that you've actually seen this happen, and did not just pull that stereotype out of thin air.
"No person should IN REALITY look for a "bad boy" but people have come to believe that this is attractive in THIS SOCIETY." I would say that people have come to believe in many different forms of attractiveness in this society. We have some ways to go, but you see much more diversity in the "attractive" people the media spotlights these days. We have rockers, poets, pop stars, artists, jocks, etc. all in the same magazines as the "it boys". Same goes for girls, you have Kat Von D to Carrie Underwood and everything in between. Would you say Steve Carrell or James Blunt is a "bad boy"? I'd hope not, but a LOT of women find them sexy.
Like I've written before, I think the issue is a lot more complex than you make it seem. First off, not many girls are seeking long term relationships from the "edgier" boys. If anything, they're looking for a one night stand. Because they look to be what a girl would want for a one night stand, a good time. But isn't that the same for boys too? Usually the boys that are going for the girl in a micro-miniskirt and halter are looking for a good time as well. Couldn't you say they're going for the "bad girl"? Its not mind control, lol, its something called a sex drive. And that's just natural. You can't say that thinking a guy is sexy because they are physically fit and takes care of their appearance is wrong. That's like saying that thinking a girl that has a nice figure and is dressed well looks hot is atrocious. Of course if that guy happens to be a jerk, or the girl happens to have a nasty personality, the majority of people will walk away from that. You can't say that the tiny minority of girls who actually goes for jerky guys is the norm. That's like saying the tiny minority of guys who go for cruel women is the usual. We both know that's not true.
"Bad boys" and "bad girls" these days usually doesn't mean "criminal" or "brute", anyway. The majority of the time it means "edgy" or "daring". Which is definitely what people look for when they just want a quick fling. When people (and I mean boys AND girls) are looking for relationships they tend to look for stable, honest, caring people. The problem is, some people are good at acting, and most of the times (with violent situations), the person who a girl/guy thought was "caring" and "sweet" turns out to be a total dirtbag. That's a COMPLETELY different situation than girls going out choosing dirtbags for boyfriends though!
I also don't agree with your constant use of the term "bad boy" btw. I don't understand what it is supposed to imply, its entirely vague and very stereotypical. From your posts, it seems that your idea of a "bad boy" could be anywhere from a seasoned criminal to just your regular run of the mill muscular guy. Also I find your concept of women to be pretty condescending as well. From your posts you have made us out to be anything from cruel and heartless, to mindless drones who just go out to clubs to find men who abuse them. The only reason I even include the words "bad boy" in my posts is because you CONSTANTLY use it. I don't believe in much "bad" and "good" as it is. I believe in balance, really, balance, tolerance, and respect. But perhaps that's just the "new agey"-ness in me, lol.
Then again, as someone who has been labeled a "bad girl" herself, many times over, maybe I am just a little turned off by labels. My personal opinion is that labels are made for items, not for people. People (even the "bad boys" LOL) are much more complicated than labels and BROAD generaliizations.
Btw, you can fall of a cliff and survive. I know a girl that goes to the same physical therapy clinic as myself that did. Life isn't too easy for her, but she is alive. People survive the impossible all the time, watch the discovery channel for an hour if you don't believe me LOL. Hell, they told me my knees were shot and I wouldn't be walking for too much longer. Today me and my husband went for a nature hike. And I'm 8 months pregnant to boot! I don't put too much stock in black and white, color is just too pretty to leave out!
Once again, just relax... life, relationships, experiences, they can all be such beautiful things if you let them. :-D
"it's natural for a good girl to seek a bad boy" I don't believe I ever said that. So why would you put that in quotes? That's called making stuff up, and I don't quite appreciate that. I was explaining, since you seem to be so sure (as evidenced by many of your posts), a possible reason for this bad boy/good girl thing. I'm guessing (once again based on your posts) that you've actually seen this happen, and did not just pull that stereotype out of thin air.
"No person should IN REALITY look for a "bad boy" but people have come to believe that this is attractive in THIS SOCIETY." I would say that people have come to believe in many different forms of attractiveness in this society. We have some ways to go, but you see much more diversity in the "attractive" people the media spotlights these days. We have rockers, poets, pop stars, artists, jocks, etc. all in the same magazines as the "it boys". Same goes for girls, you have Kat Von D to Carrie Underwood and everything in between. Would you say Steve Carrell or James Blunt is a "bad boy"? I'd hope not, but a LOT of women find them sexy.
Like I've written before, I think the issue is a lot more complex than you make it seem. First off, not many girls are seeking long term relationships from the "edgier" boys. If anything, they're looking for a one night stand. Because they look to be what a girl would want for a one night stand, a good time. But isn't that the same for boys too? Usually the boys that are going for the girl in a micro-miniskirt and halter are looking for a good time as well. Couldn't you say they're going for the "bad girl"? Its not mind control, lol, its something called a sex drive. And that's just natural. You can't say that thinking a guy is sexy because they are physically fit and takes care of their appearance is wrong. That's like saying that thinking a girl that has a nice figure and is dressed well looks hot is atrocious. Of course if that guy happens to be a jerk, or the girl happens to have a nasty personality, the majority of people will walk away from that. You can't say that the tiny minority of girls who actually goes for jerky guys is the norm. That's like saying the tiny minority of guys who go for cruel women is the usual. We both know that's not true.
"Bad boys" and "bad girls" these days usually doesn't mean "criminal" or "brute", anyway. The majority of the time it means "edgy" or "daring". Which is definitely what people look for when they just want a quick fling. When people (and I mean boys AND girls) are looking for relationships they tend to look for stable, honest, caring people. The problem is, some people are good at acting, and most of the times (with violent situations), the person who a girl/guy thought was "caring" and "sweet" turns out to be a total dirtbag. That's a COMPLETELY different situation than girls going out choosing dirtbags for boyfriends though!
I also don't agree with your constant use of the term "bad boy" btw. I don't understand what it is supposed to imply, its entirely vague and very stereotypical. From your posts, it seems that your idea of a "bad boy" could be anywhere from a seasoned criminal to just your regular run of the mill muscular guy. Also I find your concept of women to be pretty condescending as well. From your posts you have made us out to be anything from cruel and heartless, to mindless drones who just go out to clubs to find men who abuse them. The only reason I even include the words "bad boy" in my posts is because you CONSTANTLY use it. I don't believe in much "bad" and "good" as it is. I believe in balance, really, balance, tolerance, and respect. But perhaps that's just the "new agey"-ness in me, lol.
Then again, as someone who has been labeled a "bad girl" herself, many times over, maybe I am just a little turned off by labels. My personal opinion is that labels are made for items, not for people. People (even the "bad boys" LOL) are much more complicated than labels and BROAD generaliizations.
Btw, you can fall of a cliff and survive. I know a girl that goes to the same physical therapy clinic as myself that did. Life isn't too easy for her, but she is alive. People survive the impossible all the time, watch the discovery channel for an hour if you don't believe me LOL. Hell, they told me my knees were shot and I wouldn't be walking for too much longer. Today me and my husband went for a nature hike. And I'm 8 months pregnant to boot! I don't put too much stock in black and white, color is just too pretty to leave out!
Once again, just relax... life, relationships, experiences, they can all be such beautiful things if you let them. :-D
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